


Love is just as captivating as Despair

by xXx_DiaMoND_TraSh_xXx



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: ALL THE GAY, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Apocalypse, Dreamsharing, Enemies to Lovers, Great Tragedy, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Slow Burn, So is the author, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Stalking, fucking love Hajime, i guess?, komaeda is trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2020-11-07 18:35:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 51,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20821943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXx_DiaMoND_TraSh_xXx/pseuds/xXx_DiaMoND_TraSh_xXx
Summary: In a world full of Despair, all people are required to have a Talent. Without it, you’re nothing. Useless. Killed on the spot.Talentless Hajime Hinata has been in hiding for years now, living off of scraps and trying to fly under the radar unnoticed.That is until he meets one of the Ultimate Despair.His fucking Soulmate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know I’m trash for not finishing my last story before starting this one, but hey, that’s probably why Komaeda is my favorite character! (along with Hajime, of course!)
> 
> It’s ** IMPORTANT** you know that:
> 
> 1 This story is different from the games/anime
> 
> 2 It still contains a lot of ** SPOILERS** for Danganronpa 1,2 and 3 – though not v3! Since I haven’t even watched it yet- so if you don’t want any spoilers, don’t read this! 
> 
> ** ALSO IMPORTANT:**
> 
> For the differences between my story and the series, we’ll start with the obvious, which is that Soulmates exist and that Hajime never went to Hope’s Peak academy and never became Izuru Kamukura- the Ultimate Hope. No one else did either.
> 
> Secondly, Talents are more common here, there’s a 75% chance you’ll have one when you’re born. You can identify Talent born people by their Soul Mark; it’ll be colorful instead of grey. 
> 
> Also, Junko never participated in the first (second, but who cares about the first, right?) killing game, and was thus not killed. She now reigns the world while the Ultimate Despair dance under her fingertips like puppets.
> 
> The story takes place before the Ultimate Despair were captured and when the world was still in the Tragedy’s iron grip.  
Komaeda, however, hasn’t been with the children “Warriors of hope”, or at least not for as long as he was with them in the series; he’s been on his own, wandering aimlessly across the globe.
> 
> Oh, and lastly:
> 
> _CHIAKI NANAMI DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER, i CRiEd So MucH_
> 
> I really hate myself for the fact that she’s still dead in my universe, but without her, the others wouldn’t have gone insane. She’s still going to play a big role in this, though, even if it’s only in memory!!
> 
> I think that’s kinda it! The rest is the same as in the series. (Kinda)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

\---

It was snowing.

White, pure snowflakes falling from a dark and rumbling sky.  
The howling wind was deafening to Hajime’s ears, screaming a language the boy didn’t understand.

He’s cold. So, so very cold, but he couldn’t move.  
He’s rooted to that spot, sitting on his knees, pants soaked with red and lips colored blue.

Hajime’s mom used to say snow purified the world, made it a little brighter, even if it was only for a little while.  
She’d repeat those words every winter when they’d play outside, looking up at the cloudy sky with their tongues sticking out of their mouth. His dad would watch from the veranda, smiling to himself while waiting for them to come back inside.

He now realized though, that what she had said was nothing but a feeble delusion as he’s desperately trying to put her back together. Make the red stop. Make the eyes turn bright again.  
His hands were slippery as they held her, almost letting her fall from his hold but he hugged her tight enough to keep that from happening.

Hot, burning, tears streamed down his cheeks and cries spilled from his lips, wracking his body in sobs as he looked down at her. It’s like she became snow, and snow became her, turned into red.

It should have been him.

_It should have been him!_

**It should have been him.**

\---

Hinata woke up slowly, eyes blinking open sluggishly as he sat up. The nightmare didn’t surprise him, not anymore at least.

His Soulmate must be pretty sick of them by now, though. He’d been able to feel them on the edge of his consciousness, watching the dream with him for what felt like the nth time.

It was weird, but he rarely got to see the other's dreams, Hajime often even felt forcefully shut out. They always ended back up in his mind, with his repeating dream playing in the background.

Hajime didn’t know if he should be happy about that or not.

When he did get a chance to look into the other’s dreams, it was often so horrid he himself had to look away. Not just in terms of gore or anything like that.  
No, the feelings he got were so much worse. The fear, the hate, the self-loathing, as soon as he even grazed the other’s mind, the feelings would suffocate him. His Soulmate’s mind was a dark place and he could easily guess why. After all, everyone living on this planet was infected by it.

Despair.

He wanted to help, but he couldn’t ever speak when sharing dreams together; he was either swallowed up by the shadows of his Soulmate’s mind, or by his own.

It was just another testimony of how useless he was, really.

Catching sight of the grey Soul Mark on his wrist, he couldn’t help the sardonic smile tilting the corners of his lips.

He often used to think his Mark looked like a raven, soaring through the sky and searching for its other half, just like he himself often dreamed to.

Now it’s just a grey smudge and he quickly covered it up by putting on his watch.

The boy stood up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and went for the bathroom where his two buckets of melted ice stood. He’d brought them in from the roof yesterday evening, knowing he needed a shower and more drinking water. The water was still ice-cold, but the smell that was his body odor was much worse; he had some soap left, so he’d make do.

At least for now anyway.

He quickly filled his empty, plastic bottles with one bucket and then showered with the other one.  
Scrubbing the filth off his body, Hajime sighed; damn, that felt good, despite the water nearly freezing him into an ice cube.  
Before the apocalypse hit, he hadn’t realized just how much of a luxury hot showers were. Being able to soak up the warm water and be surrounded by a cloud of soap sounded heavenly right now as he poured another load of ice-cold water over himself.

Hinata just shook his head. It may be nice to think about it but there’s no use wishing for things you can’t have. Better spend the time doing something useful.

Drying himself and pulling on some clean clothes, he looked around his tiny apartment for his tie. It was one of the only things he had left of his previous life, excluding his books and family photos of course. He always wore it when going outside.

The place he lived in right now only had one bedroom and a kitchen which was basically just part of the living room. The bathroom could just as well be a closet for how big it was.

It wasn’t even his, a lot of the stuff lying around here wasn’t either; it used to belong to some man he didn’t even known the name of. He was probably dead, so did it really matter?  
He liked the apartment. It was ideal for one person, tiny and cramped; not empty. Every space was filled up with something, and it made him feel less alone somehow.

Hinata clicked his tongue as he found the tie lying under the couch, putting it on with practiced ease. The green was kind of faded, and it had some dirty smudges here and there, but he loved it all the same. It was _his_ after all.

He quickly ate some canned food from his food stash, gulping it down without chewing, and grabbed his keys.

He had things to do, a deadline to uphold, and he wasn’t planning on missing it.

\---

Gunshots rang out through the otherwise quiet streets, quickly ensued by horrid screaming and laughter.

Hajime sighed as he concluded that, once again, the main roads were out of order.   
Rubbing his hands together, he blew hot air on them as snow fell from red, clouded skies, covering the streets with a clear, white carpet. He could feel the cold seeping deep into his bones already, slowing down his movements. 

  
He truly hated winter.

  
Readjusting the straw bag hanging around his shoulder, he took out a bottle of water and gulped it down, ignoring the coldness freezing over his mouth and throat.  
He’d been able to find quite a lot of food today, canned food, energy drinks, even some chocolate bars. It wasn’t nearly enough for what he was building towards, but he knew he would get there eventually.

The alleyways he was working his way through were littered with punks and druggies, hiding in buildings and dumpsters, huddling close to try and conserve their minimal warmth. Some of them still littered the streets, trying to forget the cold, fear and pain by numbing it, trading their few belongings for drugs. Some just gave up, letting themselves be taken by the cold, going out quietly. 

Everyone was practically avoiding the main streets. Hajime included.  
  
The main streets were _their_ playground. The “Trigger Happy Fuckfaces” as some liked to call them, but their official name was “The Psychotics”.   
They’re crazy, they have guns, and as everyone probably already knows: that’s not a great combination. 

It’s like a goddamn sport to them, shooting everything in sight, even each other; the group shooting the most people by the end of the day getting the most food.

  
Guess what that "food" was. 

Of course, they also wear the Monokuma colors, often even the Monokuma suit helmets. It annoyed Hajime to no end, how people could fall so low as to worship some goddamn teddy bear and a crazed woman with some damn God complex.

  
The only reason there were still so many people here, right next to the Psychotics, was because tomorrow “Persephone’s lair” would open up for the first time in a long while and, of course, those goddamn druggies didn’t want to lose their chances of getting in.

He guessed he could understand the sentiment; even he wanted to forget the world sometimes.

However, he wouldn’t risk his life for it.  
After all, sometimes those places could come across _their_ radar. It had yet to happen that they took a visit to Persephone’s lair, but it had happened to other establishments.

The Ultimate Despair. Come across them and you’re as good as dead. 

Unfortunately, that chance will grow even more from next week onwards, since they’ll be gathering here, visiting their dear queen.

Following her orders like loyal dogs.  


Hinata stepped over some random woman lying in the middle of the road and checked his watch, only to see that he had but a few hours of daylight left. Sighing, he took out the map from his bag, his face scrunching up as he couldn’t even find where he was. He’d never been all that good with maps, not even when google or cellphones had still been a thing.

No, that’s definitely a thing of the past. If you don’t have any electricity, you can’t recharge, so really, while electronics used to rule our daily lives, they’re pretty much useless now. Money didn’t have any meaning anymore either; just another inventive way to wipe your butt with when you run out of toilet paper.

Hajime looked up at the darkening sky once more, pondering the thought of going home early since his search had gone better than expected-

He quickly paid the price for his carelessness.

The map fell to the ground as Hajime almost fell on his ass himself, the woman suddenly going for his legs with a knife and screeching something about how he’d stolen her “babies”.

Hajime winced at her high and grating voice, reminding him of a banshee he’d once seen in a movie.  
However, she quickly quietened and sunk into a ball after having received a firm kick to the stomach with the steel toe of his combat boots.

Hajime quickly picked up his -now drenched- map and moved on, a little faster than before as he noticed the woman begin to crawl towards him again.

He ignored her crazed last mutterings as he rounded the corner, and berated himself for not looking at his surroundings. What was he supposed to do now? The map was useless, drenched by the snow, and he let it fall back onto the ground with a defeated sigh.

_  
Unbelievable, lost again. What are you, a damsel in distress? Didn’t you have some sign around here?_

  
Hajime bitterly ignored the unneeded and unasked for commentary of his own thoughts and studied his surroundings. Nothing but rubble and filth, stone walls and small alleyways. The air stank of piss and he was surprised he hadn’t found a rotting body yet, to be honest.

The graffiti painted on the wall of an abandoned skyscraper rang a bell in the back of his mind. He went over to study it and almost groaned at his own incompetence. The graffiti resembled two red eyes, looking to their right. _He_ had sprayed that there.  
It’s a message meant only for him, there to remind him that it’s here where he had to take a right. From there on, he knew the way himself.  
  
He shook his head and went on his way, now alerted and prepared for another possible druggy trying to plunge a knife into his kneecaps.   
  


Still, how annoying they may be, Hajime rather dealt with druggies and normal psychos here in the back allies than the Psychotics out there.

Hinata silently entered a rundown company building, which was close to one of the main roads, and calmly stepped up the broken-down staircase in the hall, ignoring the curious glances of some druggies holed up on a futon. One of them had weird purple hair and another had a large scar over one side of his face. A girl sat between them, looking almost blissed out as she watched him trotting up the steps; he reasoned that the chills he just got were because of the cold and not because of how the girl was looking at him.  
  
Chained to the wall sat an enormous dog, barking and drooling as soon as it saw him; obviously rabid. The druggies just laughed at the dog’s antics, the purple-haired one trying to pet the raging dog and succeeding in almost getting his hand bit off.  
  
Hajime shook off the annoying itch in the back of his mind and rolled his eyes at the idiotic junkies instead, just going further up the steps to the top floor. The ground was covered with all kinds of garbage and looking into some of the rooms he could definitely see some rotting corpses here and there.

The cold wind bit into Hajime’s skin as he walked his way through a windowless room; most buildings didn’t have windows anymore, or ceilings either, broken down by all the wars and riots. Most of the city’s skyscrapers had partially fallen, most now being too dangerous to step foot in, though some were still standing.

Hajime smiled when he saw the bridge he needed to cross. “Finally.”  
It’s a bridge between two buildings, connecting one to the other, and it hung right above one of the main streets, giving you a way to cross without having to go around or causing the risk of meeting any of the Psychotics.  
Yeah, they could be right beneath you, but unless you’d make a ruckus, they wouldn’t notice you… or at least, Hajime hoped they wouldn’t.

He pulled his thin jacket closer as a strong wind whirled past him, the bridge not all that big of a comfort against the cold. It probably had windows once, but now all that was left was the bridge itself and part of its railing; a skeleton of what it once was, much like the rest of the world.

The view out here was pretty, though, the sun peeking out from behind the dark clouds and shining upon the city, warming and lighting up everything it touch-  
Hajime flinched at the sound of a gun firing, immediately followed by the sound of a pained scream. He quickly crouched down, not wanting to be seen, and looked down.

There, in the middle of the street was a Psychotic crawling on the floor, blood trailing behind him as he called out for help. Another person stepped up to him and put their boot on his back, refuting the other’s pitiful attempt at escape.  


W-Was that who he thought it was?

  
Hajime flinched again as another bullet pierced the silent air, though this one was quickly followed by metal hitting metal right next to him.  
Standing up and looking behind him at the hall he’d just come from, he cursed himself for being so goddamn naive. 

The three druggies from before were walking towards him, aiming their guns at him and laughing maniacally while still having that blissed-out look on their faces. He got now why he shouldn’t have ignored those warning bells going off in the back of his mind. Why the girl was way too lucid, why she watched his every step like a hawk, looking at him like a satisfied cat.

  
It’s the insane and perverse excitement from a psychotic finding their new prey.

  
“Oh, please run, pretty boy!” the rough voice of the scarred man rung out as he aimed his gun at Hajime once again.   
“Yeah, play with us!” The purple-haired boy called out, almost sounding desperate, like he was begging. That together with the murderous, insane look in his eyes made Hajime shiver in disgust.

He went to grab his gun which should’ve been hanging in its holster, but cursed himself as he realized he’d left it at home, since this would only be “a quick scavenge”.  
The girl released the dog from its leash and it ran past them, barking excitedly; Hajime could see the drool flying everywhere as it thought about ripping his flesh apart with its teeth.  
  
_Fuck. _  
  
Running away from them would be suicide. He might be fast, but they would more than likely shoot him in the back before he could even take two steps. Running towards them wasn’t an option either, though. Even if he could kick the dog away, they’d shoot him before he’d have the chance to get to them. He wasn’t much of a fighter anyway.

Thinking about all of that took less than a split second, but apparently that was all it took for another bullet to be fired.

It grazed his arm and he hissed.  
He didn’t have a choice, he needed to run or his dead was guaranteed.

He didn’t have the chance to, however, as a shadow whirled past him and a spray of crimson entered his vision. Blinking several times in confusion, Hajime tried to take in the scene before him.

The dog was lying motionless on its side, blood spilling messily from its neck ... which was detached from the head.

A woman was standing next to it, her katana shining in the dim sunlight together with the blood dripping from it. She wasn’t looking at him, but he could see even from that distance that her eyes were piercing and unforgiving, ready to kill and spill blood. They looked determined.

When he instinctively moved to step away, those deep red eyes immediately focused on him and he went rigid. It almost felt as if they looked through him, saw him and everything he stood for, his deepest weaknesses.  
He somehow knew that if he even moved a muscle, that sword would pierce him like a piece of cake.

He was saved, however, by an outrageous scream from one of the Psychotics, who was charging towards the other woman in a blind rage. Hinata was paralyzed as he saw the woman move -lightning fast, though still so elegantly- and chop off the other’s head with ease. The head fell to the ground with a dull ‘thump’ and then rolled off the bridge’s edge. Blood spouted from the Psychotic’s neck, and Hinata was vaguely reminded of the dog’s death. She hadn’t seen the other man as anything more.

Hajime turned around and ran as fast as he could.  


He wasn’t sticking around to see if that katana actually felt as sharp as it looked.  


Running into the other building, Hajime sprinted down the stairs, using the back door to escape so he wouldn’t have to go by the guy in the front.

He didn’t stop running until his legs gave up on him.

Sinking against the brick wall of another building, he tried to catch his breath.

_All that blood- he’d been able to see- Those were- How were they- already? He thought- shouldn’t they be-_

  
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu and Peko Pekoyama.

  
Ultimate Despairs.

  
He thought he at least had another week until they came. Another week to gather books and food, gather everything he needed from town and then wait for four weeks, wait until they’d leave to wherever they came from.

Apparently, he miscounted. _Of course_, he did.  
Though, hey, he did survive an encounter with the Ultimate Despair, or at least one of them. That’s more than most could say.

Hinata sighed, air puffing up around him, as he stood up and once again straightened the bag around his shoulder. He needed to move on, he was freezing, and he wanted to go home. He didn’t want to encounter another Despair.

Plus, it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to the sight of gore. It hadn't been easy the first time he’d seen a dead body, or blood, or someone’s internal organs, it still wasn’t, but it wasn’t as traumatising anymore either.

  
Before going home though, Hajime needed to find the library.  
He knew it was stupid and that he should look for more food and supplies, but it was the only thing keeping him sane in an existence full of Despair like this one.

With books, he could disappear into another world, a peaceful one, one where people didn’t starve or kill each other for the fun of it. A world where talking to people wasn’t a guaranteed death sentence. It’s not that he minded not speaking to people that much; he wasn’t very talkative even before things went to shit. Never made friends and oftentimes ignored his classmates, but he did miss the occasional talk.

But that’s why he had his books. He’d already read all the other ones he had a million times; he could predict every scene and every sentence. He needed something new if he wanted to live through the next four weeks without having a nervous breakdown.

  
When Hajime finally found the bookstore, he didn’t hesitate to go inside. It wasn’t much warmer than outside, but it was something.

Closing the door carefully behind him and turning around, he immediately noticed the decrepit state of things. There were holes in the ceiling, most of the planks seemed to be rotten, and all of the furniture looked filthy and unused. He was sure that if he went and sat on one of the couches, cockroaches would crawl out from between the seats.

He didn’t mind however, he was just here to collect some books and then he’d be out. Evading the rotten planks on the floor, Hinata moved towards the stairs which creaked dangerously as he made his way up. He knew which books he needed and wanted, had a mental list of them. He’d wanted to bring them back home last time too, but he’d had too much to carry and he couldn’t let them slow him down. He needed to be able to run at a moment’s notice.

Reaching the top floor, Hajime stopped mid-step, growing rigid as he observed the sudden figure in front of him. They were facing the giant window, back turned to him as the sunlight streaming in easily hid the person’s identity. They almost looked ethereal, though, Hinata standing in their shadow as they were surrounded by light.

  
Hajime didn’t know what to do. They had probably heard him come up the stairs, but they hadn’t run, nor had they tried to hide or kill him. They were just standing there, staring at the outside.  
  
Clouds once again covered the sun and Hinata could finally stop squinting as the light stopped blinding him. The person appeared to be a boy, taller than him with unruly white hair, a black jacket hugging his lithe body and surprisingly wide shoulders. His grey jeans looked a tad too big for him and the extra sweater he wore looked worn and filthy.

  
Hajime could tell he was dangerous. His instincts might not be the best, and he might be dense sometimes, but this boy in front of him was definitely trouble.

  
Hinata was ready to turn around and run, deciding he could get the books later or maybe never but before he could get the chance, his olive eyes met light green ones, green with undertones of grey and blue and Hajime just felt too mesmerized to move. 

  
The boy smiled lightly and turned around fully, canting his head as he eyed Hinata carefully.

“I wonder, which one of the two are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I have the same birthday as Hajime! 
> 
> BTW thanks for reading!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda truly is a difficult character to write! But I really love him and I love Despair!Komaeda, so I’m trying my best to do his character justice!
> 
> But anywaysss
> 
> Enjoy the chapter~
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Hajime Hinata was abnormally normal.  
He didn’t have any true likes or dislikes.   
He wasn’t exceptionally bad at things, nor was he good at them.  
Life wasn’t boring, and it wasn’t exciting.  
Hajime just seemed to exist without living.

That’s what shot through his mind, anyway, whenever he saw his Soulmark.

Grey and dull. Lifeless. Representing Hinata and his lack of Talent perfectly. 

It’s not a disaster to not have been born with a Talent- or that’s what people used to tell him. There’s a 25% chance you’d be born Talentless, so it’s not as if Talentless people were uncommon. 

But they were definitely looked down upon by society.

He was a disappointment. As much to himself as to everyone else, even if they didn’t want to admit it. He’d been able to see it in their eyes.  
The pity and shame.

It may be a morbid thought, but the world now wasn’t much better than the world from before.

Sure, a lot of the population had been wiped out and people were in a constant state of Despair, but there was just as much Despair, hopelessness and disappointment now as there used to be then.

Junko Enoshima had just given it an outlet.

Anyway, it’s the only thing Hajime ever really hated in this world. Being so useless.

So useless and still so prone to trouble.

  
“Huh?” Hajime asked the boy in front of him eloquently.

The boy sniffled, hand hiding his smirk as he shrugged. “Just wondering what kind of luck you are, is all. Lady luck does always seem to have something in store for me.”

Hinata surmised he must be talking to a nutcase, after all. “I-Is that so.”

He should’ve left it at that. He should’ve turned around and walked away.  
Of course, he was too stupid and curious to do that. “Why do you think luck has anything to do with this?” he blurted out.

The other boy looked surprised this time, before bursting out in a fit of laughter, shocking Hinata in stepping back. His laugh was kind of wheezy, as if he had asthma or something. “Wha-What does luck have to do with it. That’s- Don’t you know? Luck pretty much determines our entire existence. You probably wouldn’t be standing here in this room, living and breathing the way you are, without it. Luck has everything to do with it!”

Yup, definitely batshit crazy.  
“Of course~, well, guess I’ll be going then!” Hajime said, forced smile plastered onto his face as he quickly turned around.

The clatter of metal sounded through the room before a strong grip encircled his arm; it hurt, and Hajime was sure he’d have bruises the next morning.

“You can’t leave yet.” The boy’s voice was cold, it’s former excitement and joyful tone nowhere to be found. Looking up at him, Hinata felt himself grow cold too.

His eyes weren’t green anymore, instead, Hajime’s vision was filled with big pools of darkness. An insanity so intense and mesmerizing, it seemed to seep into his mind just by him looking into it.

“W-Why.” He muttered, still feeling like a deer caught in headlights.

“Because” the other answered, lips tugging up in a deranged smile. “I have yet to find out which kind of luck you are. Hi~na~ta-kun.”

Hinata’s mind blanked out for a moment as he heard his name leave the other’s mouth.

_H-How had he-_

The other boy tugged on his arm and he stumbled back into the room, coming to a stop in front of the large window.  
“You’re probably wondering how I knew your name, right? How could I? After all, we’ve never met!”

Looking back, Hajime saw the boy stand in front of the stairs, smile still present on his face as he watched him with wide, excited eyes.

The boy grinned. “I’ll give you a hint! My Talent is being Lucky.”

Hinata felt himself blink multiple times as he tried to pick up his jaw of the floor. _What?_

“W-Wait, so you’re telling me you… you just _guessed_ my name?” Hinata asked in disbelieve.

The other frowned, bringing his hand up to his chin as he averted his gaze. “Ah, maybe the hint made it a little _too_ obvious, but yes, you’re right!” he exclaimed as he looked back at Hinata with a satisfied smile. “You looked like a Hinata to me! An ordinary name for an ordinary looking guy, I suppose!”

Hinata ignored the sting he felt at those words and shook his head. “Still, that’s almost impossible-“

“The keyword being _almost._ Though I do understand if my Talent disgusts you, after all, it’s not much of a Talent is it?” The boy surmised.

Hajime felt confused at the other's words.  
  
A few moments earlier, the insanity in the boy’s eyes had been able to affect Hinata to his very core, making his body go still and mind in overdrive, as if the madness was taking hold of him too.  
Now he just looked like an awkward marshmallow.

“Ah, how rude of me! I haven’t introduced myself! I don’t think you care much for my name; who would really? But it’s a habit from before the Tragedy which I've been unable to shake.” The boy smiled, putting up his hands as he gestured to himself. “My name is Komaeda Nagito, but you can call me whatever.”

_That’s such a weird way to introduce yourself!_

Hajime’s attention was quickly snatched away, though, by the collar sitting snuggly around the other’s neck, a metal chain attached to it like a dog on a leash. How hadn’t he noticed that before?

“Why do you have a chain-“ he blurted but quickly shut himself up. Who knows what could trigger this guy? Maybe these kinds of questions could set him off or something! He should just shut up before he got himself killed; speaking up already got him in this mess.

However, Komaeda just laughed and touched the metal around his neck. “Oh, this old thing? Someone gave it to me! They lost the key, however, and I can’t get it off so~ pretty unlucky, huh?” 

Hinata’s face scrunched up. _Didn’t he just say his Talent was being Lucky? _

Almost pouting at Hinata’s silence, Komaeda leaned against the stairs’ railing, making it creak dangerously.  
He was blocking the way, but if the wood gave up that wouldn’t really be a problem anymore- “Ah, maybe you should introduce yourself too? After all, it’s only polite.” Komaeda said, silly smile still edged onto his face.

Hajime couldn’t help but scoff, looking off to the side. “Why? You already know my last name just by guessing. You could probably easily guess my first name.”

Feeling Komaeda’s intense stare burning a hole into the side of his head, he sighed, irritated by the other's persistence. _Seriously this guy._

Instead of being back home, sitting on his couch with a warm blanket around him and a good book in his lap, he was standing in the cold, on some rotting wood, in a rotting library, with some rotten guy.

Hinata didn't want to give him his first name. Who knows what the guy could dig up about him. Maybe he'd find out Hajime was Talentless. Then he'd undoubtedly be killed; he couldn't risk that! 

His eyes widened as a thought made its way into his mind.

It was risky, and he didn’t like it one bit, but he really wanted to get out of here before he met another Ultimate Despair. 

He looked back at Komaeda, crossing his arms and taking a deep breath. “Let's test your Luck. If you can guess my Talent, I’ll tell you my name. If you can’t, you let me go. Deal?”

Komaeda’s eyes widened in surprise at his little game, before the other let out a chuckle himself. “Alright, I’ll play. It’s unfortunate but I do think you’ll lose this bet.”

Hinata sincerely hoped not, he was a terrible liar.

“Let’s see… Your Talent is…” the boy's eyes narrowed, focusing on Hinata as he thought about possible Talents. Hajime diverted his gaze.

The boy couldn’t possibly know, even with his ‘Luck’.  
  
No way. 

He couldn’t since Hinata shouldn’t even be existing right now. 

  
\--

  
“Florist.”

Hinata sagged against the wall behind him, a relieved smile tugging on his lips as he shook his head. “Nope.” 

Komaeda seemed to stagger at his response, brow furrowing as he lightly canted his head in confusion. It was a weird look on him, to be honest, the boy had been an enigma from the moment Hinata had started talking to him. Seeing him like this... He almost looked vulnerable.

“Say Hinata-kun, what’s your biggest Hope?”

The sudden question caught Hajime off guard, and he could feel himself grow anxious again. “Uh, I- Why do you ask?” 

Komaeda just shrugged, a dark glint in their eyes, his former confusion and surprise nowhere to be seen. “I don’t know. I just want to know more about you and that was the first question to come up! After all, you somehow defied my luck! Even with my bad luck... Something as stupid as guessing a Talent... I should've been able to guess it.” The other's voice lowered at the end, so much so that Hajime could barely hear it.

“If I answer it, will you _finally_ let me go?” Hajime asked exasperated.

“Yes.”  
  
“Fine, my biggest hope… I guess, is to be healthy and find enough food to last me a lifetime? Satisfied now?” he snapped.

Looking at Komaeda’s expression, though, Hajime knew he wasn’t; the boy’s face was scrunched up, like he’d eaten a particularly sour lemon. “So, I was right, you’re one of the most basic humans I’ve met in a while. That’s the most boring Hope I’ve ever heard. Almost something you’d hear from before the Tragedy. It tells me almost everything and nothing about you.”

Hinata didn't think it was possible but he went cold and hot at the same time. Hot in anger at the other's statements and cold because of the sudden panic coursing through him.

The other’s deranged gaze fixed itself back on Hajime, nailing him to the spot. There was that insanity again.  
Despair mixed with Hope in the most terrible manner.

“Hope should be something grand, it’s something that arises from your biggest Despair! It’s Ultimate good. It should make you strive to do things you normally shouldn’t, make you revel in Despair so you can beat it and bring out an even bigger Hope!”

Komaeda closed his eyes as he took a ragged breath, seemingly willing himself to calm down. That disturbing smile stayed on his face though, never leaving.

“Hm. No matter.” Komaeda continued after a while, shaking his head. “I still have no idea what your Talent is. But let’s just do one guess a day, yeah? Makes it more fun! More despairing. Maybe I’ll never get to know your amazing Talent! Maybe I’ll guess it next time. Anyway, our meetings will always have that little edge of Hope and Despair to it!”

Once again barely able to keep up with Komaeda, Hajime shook his head, desperately trying to catch up. “W-wait, what are you saying? How do you know we’ll meet again?”

Komaeda smirked. “Call it a lucky guess.”

Turning around, he looked back at Hinata over his shoulder. “I do have some other business to attend to right now, but I'll see you soon, Hinata-kun!”

“H-huh?”

Hinata could do nothing more than watch how the other almost ran out of the room, leaping down the stairs and leaving him standing there like an idiot.

“What the _fuck_ just happened?”

\---

Hajime was in a hallway.

Maybe a hospital?

He didn’t seem to be able to focus his eyes, vision blurring and darkening around the edges. His balance was off, his breathing was too fast, he was too cold and too hot at the same time.

He felt like the static of a tv screen.

He felt like he wasn’t real.

_Are you there?_

Touching the wall with his hand, he began to follow it, hoping he’d reach a door or an exit.  
His footsteps were loud, louder than the buzzing of the flickering lamps or the static filling his ears and he winced with every step he took. It sounded wet, like he was stepping into something saggy and the air smelled distinctly like copper.

He decided not to think about it.

Hajime was panting by now, every step he took torturing his body. His limbs felt like lead.  
He didn’t know what was happening.

It was tempting to just give in.

The walls seemed to be moving under his hand, almost like a living and breathing thing, the creaks following each movement sounding more and more like words as time went on.

_Where are you?_

Hajime looked up. A dark figure was standing at the end of the hallway.

_Can’t you tell me? _

Their face was scratched off.

_Hey, can’t you? _

Only a big smile was present when they fully turned around to face him.

_I don’t want to be alone anymore!_

Hinata barely noticed it when he fell into the abyss, dark tendrils coming up to consume him whole.

\---

Hajime woke up and immediately ran for the bathroom, where he puked up his meager dinner. Coughing and shivering, he let himself fall down onto the cold floor, the tiles a cool comfort against his heated skin.

It’d been a long time since they’d met in the middle like that- Or no, that’s not right.

Meeting in the middle was difficult, it’s when both Soulmates could create an environment where they’d be able to talk to each other, give each other power over their mind and put irrevocable trust in each other while doing so.

They weren’t even close to mimicking something like that.   
No, this had been a miserable attempt on his Soulmate’s part. Wanting to speak to him by pulling Hinata into their own mind, where he once again almost suffocated.

Trying to get him into the other’s mind like that was more than sharing dreams or connecting their Souls to meet somewhere in the middle.  
  
It was pulling Hajime’s soul outside of his own body through their bond, to be consumed by the other.  
  
It often happened when one of the two soulmates were unstable; they’d try to become one with their Soulmate by eating their Soul and merging with their mind. It would eventually lead to even bigger mental issues.

Hajime was lucky he always got out in time. 

Standing up from the cold floor, Hinata's brow furrowed as he looked at the puke in the bathtub. There went his dinner.  
Picking up one of the filled buckets, he flushed it away and made his way back to the bedroom where his book had fallen to the floor. He picked it up, shortly investigating it for any damage -_more_ damage, since it was already pretty broken- before laying it back on his nightstand.

It was one of the books he’d brought home yesterday. He‘d initially wanted to leave it since it really was way too damaged; pages hanging loose and some even missing, the cover too dirty and worn to make out anymore.

He’d still put it in his bag.

It wasn’t at all interesting.

A love story between someone Talented and someone who wasn’t. It struck a nerve really, how being Talentless was romanticized. “Oh, wow, he loves her even though she’s Talentless! Must be true love!” or “Oh, how romantic, she has to save him with her Talent since he can’t even protect himself! How cute!”

It irritated the shit out of Hinata but he kept reading it anyway. Kept turning ripped page after another because he knew that these books...

These books had a good ending. 

Sighing, Hinata quickly went through his daily routine; using the water in his bucket to shower, dressing in his usual attire and eating breakfast. He’d found canned fruit yesterday, scavenging some abandoned buildings and finding it in a broken fridge. It tasted fucking delicious and for tonight, he even had a chocolate bar.

However, this didn’t mean he could take it easy.

He still needed to scavenge food today. He needed soap, toilet paper, toothpaste; basic things are the most important.  
_Especially_ the toothpaste. He never wanted to go without that again.

He shouldn’t have lost track of time. He should’ve been ready by now, stocked up on everything he needed so he wouldn’t have to go outside. Wouldn’t have to risk the chance of meeting _them_.

He’ll just have to use the roads no one uses. Make detours and such. It would be annoying, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Hajime had been lucky yesterday, getting away from Pekoyama and Kuzuryu like that, he didn’t want to test his luck again.

Speaking about luck… Hinata really hoped he wouldn’t see that boy again. Komaeda.

He’d been so creepy- no, _disturbing_. One moment looking like a lost, goofy kid and then changing into a Despair riddled maniac, just to change back within the blink of an eye.

Hajime hadn’t ever seen the guy around here, but sometimes fans of the Ultimate Despairs came here to behold the annual anniversary, wanting to celebrate the Tragedy and those who caused it. That’s most likely why the guy had been rambling about Hope and Despair so much…

Hinata shook his head. It didn’t matter. He probably wouldn’t ever see Komaeda again.

He picked up his keys and bag and made his way out of his apartment, determined to remain part of the shadows for the rest of the day.

The apartment was on the outskirts of town and in the two years since the Tragedy started, he’d already scavenged everything in this apartment and the ones in the vicinity – or at least the ones which were still safe enough to enter. He’d either have to go towards the center, which he’d done yesterday and wasn’t ready to do again, or go towards the west since the east had been nothing short of destroyed.

Choice easily made, Hinata thinks.

He began his trek to the western part of the city. It would take a while, but he’d left early in the day, so he should be back home before the sun went down.  
Not that there was that big of a difference, though.

Sure, the sun occasionally peeked out from between the dark clouds, but that didn’t happen often. Most of the time the sky was a dark crimson, clouds letting almost no sunlight through as if to reflect the hopeless state of the world.

It was weird, but Hinata didn’t necessarily dislike the red sky. It was as if his feelings had made themselves known in the real world, the sky painted by madness and fear.  
Hajime could feel a sick sense of pleasure at knowing that other people could finally see and feel the Despair he’d had to endure for his entire life. However, the thoughts were often followed by a strong sense of self-loathing and disgust; he just locked them up in the darkest corners of his mind, never to be seen again.

Hinata’s feet were hurting as he finally made his way inside an abandoned building, brushing the snow off his jacket.  
The house was rather big and he felt awkward as he stood alone in the grand hall, the silence ringing louder in his ears than any sound ever could.

It was clear the family had left in a hurry.

Or rather, they’d tried to, suitcases lying open on the ground next to their rotting corpses.

It was a family of three, two women and a little girl, all their eyes wide open as if in shock, as if they couldn’t process what was happening to them. Of course, Hinata was sure the shock wasn’t as evident anymore as it once used to be, eyes having a white, cloudy film over them. Like dead fish.

They’d been dead for a long time, blood dried up and brown, corpses decomposing and giving off a putrid smell. Hinata almost puked when he noticed it, _again_.

He put a hand in front of his nose and mouth and turned away from the corpses, noticing that through all the pain and fear, they had all held hands. As if wanting to be reunited after death. 

Walking into the kitchen and putting down his bag, Hinata began investigating the cupboards. The house already looked scavenged, door blown off its hinges and all drawers ripped open, but it never hurt to check. He could always find something someone else decided to leave behind, and he still had an entire day ahead of him; no need to rush.

The house eventually did end up to be completely empty, so he quickly moved on to the next one. He was watchful as he made his way through the quiet streets, first searching the building to check if someone was hiding inside.

Of course, all of this took a few hours, and he hadn’t searched nearly as many houses as he’d wanted to, before realizing he should probably make his way back.  
He’d managed to find some uncooked rice which was still good to eat and one can of beans hidden inside the backpack of a dead guy, but all of the other houses he’d searched had been empty.

It was to be expected really. Houses were easy to break into; apartments were a lot more difficult to forcibly enter. They were higher up, so you couldn’t get in through the window and a lot of them had been destroyed during the first few months of the Tragedy.

Hinata packed his nearly empty bag and made his way outside, purposely ignoring the claw marks on the door.

He could still remember the beginning of the Tragedy. The Monokuma bears which could easily break down your front door or rip open the roof of your car, red eye gleaming as they slashed you to pieces.

Though that hadn’t been the hardest part of the Tragedy, neither were the crazy people or the lack of food.

It was the damn target on his head.

After things quietened down and the Monokuma robots retreated, Junko happened to notice something. Something which irked her to no end.

Talentless people seemed less affected by her Despair than others.

She quickly came to the conclusion that Talentless people really were useless on every level, and just decided to kill them off. They should get to experience the Despair too, even if she had to actively hunt them down to force her “gift” upon them.

She commanded the Ultimate Despairs and everyone else to actively search out the Talentless people and to either bring them to her or kill them mercilessly.

The world had listened, of course.

Mothers, fathers, siblings, friends, enemies, it didn’t matter; if they had a grey Soulmark, they were dead.

The rule still applied to this day.

So, yeah, Hinata is an idiot, challenging a person with _Ultimate Luck_ to _guess_ his Talent… Maybe he had a death wish after all?  
Well, it doesn’t matter anymore, Komaeda hadn’t been able to figure out his secret and he was still alive. Plus, he hadn’t even seen the boy once the entire day he’d been out, even after all of Komaeda’s claims that they would meet again.

He’d had a calm day. Maybe he wouldn’t meet an Ultimate Despair again, so long as he just stayed on the city's outskirts and stuck to the abandoned places?

However, when opening the front door to leave the building, he was quickly introduced to his first predicament of the evening.

A ragged man stood before him in the snow, clutching a piece of metal against his chest as if his life depended on it. His face was hidden behind a long beard, though Hajime could easily see how filthy and greasy it was, and his clothes had that familiar color pattern to them.  
White, black and red.

When he saw Hajime the man screamed, his eyes having that well-known edge of insanity in them as he charged at him.

Hinata by-passed the man just in time but tripped, falling into the cold snow. His clothes were drenched and Hinata felt like he’d just entered some weird horror game as adrenaline coursed through him, quickly trying to get up and run. The man was faster, however, and pushed him down, screaming in his face with a breath which smelled like, what Hajime imagined to be, death. “It’s mine! It’s mine! He gave it to me! You can’t have it, can’t look at it!”

Hajime looked at the object in his hands, wondering why the hell the man thought he’d want to steal something from him and saw a… cogwheel?

“I don’t want your stupid-“ Hajime began but was quickly silenced by the sudden spikes sticking out of the man’s torso. The man’s face was shocked as he looked down, observing the spikes and the blood flowing from his chest before he was thrown away in the snow like dirt.

Hinata could hear the man gurgling his last breaths next to him, but couldn’t be bothered to look as a Monokuma bear was towering over him. One from the beginning of the Tragedy. Hinata couldn’t believe his eyes as he shuffled back, trying to get out of its reach as it raised its claws once again.

_“Pupupu!”_

_Hadn't these machines been stored away? They shouldn’t exist anymore! What the fuck was it doing here?! _

Hajime rolled to the side just as the bear moved to eviscerate him, instead slicing through the snow and pavement, and as he did he noticed a heavy object in his hands. The cogwheel? Since when has he been holding this thing!?

The bear raised its claws once again and Hinata’s eyes widened as he realized that, while he’d been distracted, the bear had moved closer.

He wouldn’t be able to dodge this time.

Was this really how it was going to end? With a Monokuma bear slicing him to pieces? After everything he’d done to survive, to not give in to Despair, some fucking teddy bear is going to kill him?!

Hinata brought up his hands and closed his eyes, awaiting the pain as the bear’s smile elongated in excitement for its next kill.

However, a voice calling out through the clearing made the bear look off to the side.

“Wait! Stop! I said stop you stupid bear!”

A person was running towards them, plowing through the thick carpet snow as he screamed profanities at the bear. Someone with a bright yellow jacket and clashing pink hair, waving around a- remote control?

The bear didn’t stop though, looking back at Hajime who was certain he was going to die after all, until the boy threw the remote at the bear’s head.

No one moved. The air was silent. Hajime had never felt this uncomfortable and scared at the same time in his life.

And then the bear began vibrating like crazy, it’s red eye blinking like an emergency light.

_“Upupupu~ pupupupupuu-”_

A clash of light filled Hinata’s vision and then the bear took off to the skies, almost like a rocket, the heat of it scorching his face as he tried to crawl away from it.

Hinata was so disoriented and confused, he could only sit there, his hand and butt hurting from the freezing cold of the snow as he watched the bear disappear behind some building.

This was the second time within 24 hours he asked himself this but _what the fuck just happened?_

He only seemed to wake up from his dazed state as someone’s hand entered his vision; looking up, Hajime was met by a friendly face smiling down on him.

“Need some help there, dude?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I know Hinata sighs a lot, but that's just how he is okay? He's a sad/irritated cinnamon roll and I will protect him with my life. ٩(◦`꒳´◦)۶
> 
> btw, sorry if my English is a bit rocky at times, it's not my native language! 
> 
> If you like the story, please leave a kudos or a comment! They make my day~! ⭐️


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know Komaeda’s wiki states he’s gay?  
We’re all just waiting for you now Hajime~ (▼▽▼)
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Hinata often thought about why he wasn’t Despaired like the rest of the world. About how he, a Talentless, scared little kid, had been able to survive the massacre.

The answer was: luck.

He’d been lucky, been at the right places at the right times or had been saved by someone else’s mistakes and misfortune.

Saved by his own misfortune.  
It’s funny how the thing he hated most would eventually become his saving grace.

He’d been constantly tortured with thoughts of how everything he’d ever done or would do had no meaning. He’d never leave an imprint on the world. He’d never be remembered. He’d lead a meaningless life in which he’d achieve nothing. He’s Talentless, after all.

These thoughts used to endlessly repeat themselves until he wanted to scream in agony and wail in self-loathing; so really, the only reason why he hadn't been affected by Despair was because he’d already been used to it. He’d already long lost his mind.

He had nothing to lose, much like the other Talentless people, back then.

However, this also meant that the people who had been filled with Hope, were the ones to fall the hardest. 

This was evident with the students of Hope’s Peak Academy, who eventually became the most infected by Despair.

The beginning of the Tragedy was marked by this. The symbol of all Hope: Hope’s Peak Academy had been destroyed. Mass murder of the Ultimates had taken place first, before the entire Reserve Course had killed themselves.

The two classes remaining had only helped spread the Despair. One by letting the world see it and the other by letting the world experience it.

One class, the ones who had been ordered to kill each other one by one, only had few survivors left, while the other class was still complete, spending their days wreaking havoc.

There were fourteen of them, or so he’d heard at least, though he didn’t know every single one of them. Hajime mostly knew the famous ones, such as Pekoyama and Kuzuryu, who had skilled yakuza men to fight and kill for them -though they were no weaklings themselves.

Teruteru Hanamura, who would stop hunger by giving people delicious pastries and meals. Food so heavenly, it would let people crave for more until any other food would make them puke up their guts and lead them to starve themselves. Eventually, they wouldn’t be hungry anymore. 

Ibuki Mioda and Hiyoko Saionji, who would either mesmerize their audience with dance or let them go insane with emotions through song. 

Sonia Nevermind, who always had an entire kingdom at her feet. Each time commanding them to commit mass suicide, only to move on to another country to make them do the same. 

Tanaka Gundham, he was a lot like Sonia in terms of having a kingdom, only his existed out of animals. They followed his every whim and desire, destroying cities within a heartbeat so long as it made their master happy. 

The person currently helping him up was one of them. An Ultimate Despair: Kazuichi Soda, who made all of the Monokuma robots and helped kill millions of people.

“Wow! That was close, huh? Almost let that Monokuma slice you into mincemeat!” Kazuichi exclaimed with a laugh and a big grin on his face.

“That was your bear?” He asked, and okay it was a stupid question, but you’ll have to excuse him since barely a minute ago, a man attacked him, then got killed by a damn Monokuma robot bear which then tried to kill him, only to fly off into the sky because an _Ultimate Despair_ threw a remote at it.

Yeah, he’s having some trouble functioning right now.

The other seemed oblivious to his mental state, however, and happily continued the conversation. “Yup! You better believe it, made it totally from scratch too! It’s one of my most intriguing inventions yet, though it does need some work as you probably noticed! It has quite the temper! I’ll probably have to search for it too, since it flew away quite far, or I could make another one.”

Hinata heard almost nothing of the other’s rambling but just nodded anyway, thinking of how he could get out of this situation as fast as possible. 

Maybe he could just run away? No, that’s an awful idea, the boy seemed in a good mood right now, Hajime didn’t want to anger him by being rude… Ugh what was he saying? This is Kazuichi Soda he was talking about! He should be running away for his fucking life!

Hinata stiffened when a sudden silence fell over them. He'd obviously just missed something...  
He looked up at the Despair, the hairs on his arms and neck standing up as he felt himself break out into a cold sweat.

A shadow had fallen over Kazuichi’s face, the smile had disappeared, instead replaced by a sneer of sharp teeth. The other’s eyes were almost more red than pink as he stared Hinata down, his gaze so intense it almost made him flinch. 

He looked like he was mere seconds away from killing him.

Hinata’s limbs locked up in fear, he was rooted to the spot, couldn’t move, too scared of what would happen if he did and his breathing stopped along with his ability to think.

“Well? You are going to give it back, right?” the boy asked in a low voice, almost a whisper as he looked at Hajime’s hands.

_Give what…_ The heavy weight suddenly materializing in his hands pulled Hajime back to the present and he looked down, dazedly realizing he was still holding the rusty cogwheel.

He hadn’t even known he still had it.

“Yeah, sure…” he stuck out his hands, almost presenting the cogwheel like a gift. It seemed to immediately flip a switch in Kazuichi as suddenly all malicious aura disappeared.

A big grin crossed his face as he took the wheel from Hajime. “Thanks, dude! For a moment there I thought you weren’t gonna give it back and keep it to yourself like that old fart over there had done! Really who asks to see your creations only to destroy them and steal parts of them? No wonder that bear was so mad, I would be too is someone picked away parts of me!”

A sudden groan had them turn around, watching the old man grinning like an in love schoolgirl as he tried to crawl his way towards them. Towards Kazuichi.  
In the meanwhile he was staining the snow with a bright crimson, losing an alarming amount of blood from the stab wound in his chest as he strained himself to move.

“He’s still alive?” Hinata asked, more to himself than to Kazuichi.

The other laughed, however, and opened a bag which Hinata hadn’t even noticed was there until then. “Not for long he isn’t! No one messes with my creations like that!”

He pulled out a disk -of course, it had the trademark Monokuma face on it- and pushed its nose before throwing it at the older man. It landed in the snow right before his face, glowing red just like the Monokuma bear had done earlier -Right before it had lanced itself off to God knows where-

The man just happily stared at it.

Hinata couldn’t watch what happened next seeing as Kazuichi slung his arm over his shoulder and quickly dragged him away. “There, good riddance. People who can’t appreciate art like him shouldn’t exist in this world, don’t you think… uhm, what’s your name?”  
The other laughed, a little embarrassed as he hadn’t asked it before that point, but before Hinata could answer a fast beeping was heard behind him.

It was quickly followed by the sound of an explosion.

Hajime could feel the scorching heat as the hot wind of the blast reached them. 

An arm landed next to them, and he could feel a spat of what was most probably blood land on the back of his neck.

“You may know this already but my name is Kazuichi Soda! Ultimate Mechanic at your service!” Kazuichi smiled as if nothing had happened, his eyes wide and curious at Hajime’s answer.

“My name is Hinata.” He answered numbly and the other brought up his fists in front of his face, like an excited child finding something new and shiny. “Nice to meet ya Hinata-kun! It’s been such a long time since I last made a friend! I bet you’ll just love my works! I’ll show you some of them!

So long as you can help me that is...”

This made Hinata look up in confusion. This boy was able to create an entire army of robots and killed almost half of humanity with them. He just killed a man like it was nothing. What in the world would he need help with?

He voiced his confusion and Kazuichi scratched the back of his head, looking off to the side in embarrassment. “Well you see, uh- I’m kinda lost?”

At Hinata’s blank stare the other quickly explained further. “You see, I’m supposed to meet up with some people, but then that man came and stole the wheel from my Monokuma and then we had to chase him and now I’m lost! You seemed like a local, so I thought maybe you could help me?”

Hinata took a deep breath and could feel his migraine of the day acting up. 

He should just leave. This really was too much of a hassle. Showing an Ultimate Despair the way? Making conversation with them? What was he doing? He should just say he wasn’t a local either and leave the other to his own devices…

However, would that anger him? He didn’t know how to handle these sorts of people. Who knows what might make this guy kill him? Maybe he’d decide Hinata was useless? Maybe he’d throw him another one of those disks and then he’d also explode into a hundred pieces?

“Where do you need to be?” He asked, gripping the straps of his bag tighter as he hoped he’d made the right choice.

Kazuichi beamed at his answer, grin easily spreading over his face. “Well I’m supposed to meet with them at a pretty popular place; perhaps you’ve heard of it? It’s called Persephone’s Lair.”

Hinata inwardly sighed. “Ah, yeah I know that place. It’s about two hours away from here, though, so it’s probably going to take a while-”

Kazuichi clapped his hands together in a grateful gesture, still grinning as he slightly bowed. “Thank you!! I promise you when we get there, I’ll show you a lot of my beautiful creations, okay?”

Hinata honestly could care less about the other’s inventions, so long as he got away with his life and all of his limbs intact he’d be happy.

“Yeah, sure…”

\---

Hinata has learned two things about himself in last two hours.

For one, he’s still horrible at talking with people, that apparently hasn’t changed during the Tragedy. It’s especially bad if they’re as enthusiastic and loud as Kazuichi. Like, seriously, how can a person talk this long without getting tired?

The first hour, Hinata had been listening attentively. Not because he found talking about car parts and Monokuma parts interesting, but because he didn’t want a repeat of last time. One near-death experience was enough thank you very much.

But after that, he’d tuned out, mentally drained by the other’s non-stop rambling.

The second thing he’d learned was that if Kazuichi couldn’t kill him with probably just the flick of a remote or some other invention, Hajime would’ve strangled the guy long ago.

For someone who’d killed so many, this guy sure acted like a petty child who had had way too much candy.

They were currently walking in a rather “populated” area of town. And with populated Hajime just means there are a lot of druggies littering the streets. They were consistently getting closer to Persephone’s Lair and it was noticeable.

It didn’t surprise Hinata that most of them weren’t even lucid enough to recognize who was walking among them. They didn’t have a clue that an Ultimate Despair was next to them. Kazuichi didn’t seem to have any complaint to that, walking over and around people like they weren’t even there.

However, those who were lucid enough quickly ran inside or as far away as they could- though not before giving Hinata a surprised look.  
He understood the sentiment; it wasn’t often you saw an Ultimate Despair talk to someone who wasn’t in their tight-knit group of Ultimates.

Or to someone who wasn’t on the brink of death -most likely because of them-

  
Hinata stopped when he noticed they were close to crossing one of the main roads, an annoyed _tsk_ leaving his mouth. “We can’t cross here. we’ll need to turn back and make a detour.”

Kazuichi frowned at this, shoulders sagging as he looked longingly at the main road. “Dude, my feet hurt! Isn't it just across this road? I don’t want to walk any further than I have to!”

Hinata sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “There are probably Psychotics lurking between those buildings, ready to shoot us at sight. It’s already dangerous just standing this close… we can’t go there.“

Kazuichi just grinned however and put his hands behind his head, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. “Who cares! Come on, Hinata! Let’s just go! We’re already late as it is!”

Kazuichi stepped into the clearing and Hinata felt a short stab of panic pierce through him, fully expecting Kazuichi to be shot... and looked up at the strangely empty and silent buildings when he wasn't. What the...why were they holding back… 

Hinata’s eyes widened as realization hit him. They recognized Kazuichi. Those fuckers didn’t shoot because of _him_.

The thought caused cold shivers to run over Hinata’s spine.

“Do you think we’ll meet some cute girls? I’ve heard that Persephone’s Lair is a real tourist attraction these days! A lot of people visit it, there must be some cute girls there!” Kazuichi exclaimed, eyes sparkling as he looked into the direction of the club. “Of course, no one can ever top miss Sonia! I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Hajime stepped onto the road, untrodden snow crisping under his boots as he followed the other. “Y-Yeah, you might. I’m not sure, though…” he muttered, desperately trying not to flip his shit as they reached the other side of the road. He really wanted to get away from Kazuichi. He’d forgotten what the guy was. What he'd done.

No matter how innocent Kazuichi was acting right now, he’d killed _millions_. He’d caused Despair to run rampant over the world. He was an _Ultimate Despair_ and Hinata should be _careful_.

How had he been so calm this entire time? Had it been the shock? Had his mind just shut down?

How could he have been concerned for the other’s safety? He should _want_ Kazuichi to die. The guy was a murderer. A lunatic.

But wouldn’t that make him just as bad as all the other Despairs? In the end, hoping someone would get murdered… It’s a pretty awful and Despair filled thought to have, wasn’t it?

Kazuichi beamed at his reply, easily grinning up at Hajime as he pumped his fist once more. “Yeah! And you’ll be my wingman, right Hinata?”

Hinata blinked at this, trying to process the other’s mundane words; Kazuichi was talking as if they were just two friends going to a club. As if they weren’t going to some stinking hole in the middle of a ruined city which reeked of drugs and vomit and people slowly dying from starvation while trying to escape the reality Kazuichi himself had made.

“I actually need to leave soon, I still have some uh- business to take care off?” Ugh, Hinata really was terrible at lying, making his statement sound more like a question than anything else.  
Kazuichi didn’t seem to notice though, looking like a rejected puppy. “Oh man~ but then you won’t be able to see my mega-cool inventions!”

Hinata tried to smile, scratching the back of his head in an awkward gesture, one he still remembered from before the Tragedy. “Sorry, Soda, Maybe another time?”

The other smiled, quickly nodding his head, but before he could say anything else a voice rang out through the otherwise relatively quiet alleyway. “Yo Soda, what were you thinking?! Making us wait this long!”

Hinata looked at the direction from where the voice came and saw they were almost standing before Persephone’s Lair. A mist of smoke was hanging over them, making the neon board of the club stand out even more in the darkness of the alley. 

Hajime had no idea how the club still had electricity, but they did and it attracted a lot of people just like Kazuichi had said.

That didn’t change the fact that the place was repulsive, though. Hinata couldn’t help but hold a hand over his nose and mouth as soon as he noticed the smell of the place. 

There were even more druggies here than normal, most of them lying on the ground. Some looked dead, others looked like they weren’t far from it, looking into the distance like they were looking at angels. Grim reapers ready to come and take them away from this hell.

A man was trying to piss against the wall, but missed and instead pissed on some other dude, who then stood up and punched him in the face. Some other people were making out shamelessly against some dumpsters, and Hajime scrunched up his face in disgust as he quickly looked away… _Yuck._

He then met the intrusive eyes of a red-haired girl who was stalking her way towards them. She looked quite ordinary, wearing a white T-shirt with a brown skirt and boots, an expensive-looking camera hanging around her neck. She almost looked _too_ ordinary, out of place even. 

Hinata quickly realized she was dragging another person forwards, tugging on their… chain.

_No way…_

Slowly looking up, Hajime gazed directly into the delighted eyes of Komaeda Nagito.

_You have to be fucking kidding me…_

"Ah, I knew we were destined to meet again", the boy smiled, looking down at him with something akin to glee shining brightly in his eyes.

"Hinata-kun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it~ ⭐️


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!
> 
> We'll receive some more angst than usual in this chapter and some background info on why Komaeda is the way he is -- some things are improvised while others are legit facts. If you want to know Komaeda's actual background, look it up! It explains a lot!
> 
> With that said-
> 
> Enjoy the chapter. ^^
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Seeing Komaeda again was more shocking to Hinata then he thought it would be.

He’d been sure he wouldn’t ever have to see the boy again, despite the other’s Talent and Komaeda telling him otherwise. For some reason, Hajime had believed himself when he thought he could escape the boy.

Hinata cringed as a guy threw up not even five feet away from them, but Komaeda didn’t seem to care. His grey-blue-green whatever eyes were solely focused on him, a playful smile tilting his lips as he moved closer.

The other boy was wearing the same outfit as the day before, chain rattling like a bell at every single movement.

Hinata was so not going to do this…

He turned around, ready to sprint away as fast as possible, until a sudden hand on his shoulder made him stop, his face contorting in pain by the strong grip.

“And where do you think you’re going? Running away like a scared schoolgirl, jeez… and you call yourself a man?”

Hinata cringed at the harsh words and turned around once again, looking straight into judging crimson eyes. The girl sighed and tightened her grip even further as she dragged him to stand back next to Kazuichi.

“And you, Soda! Explain why you let me wait out here in the cold for nearly half an hour! It better be good!” She barked as she eyed Kazuichi.

The boy went as stiff as a board, sweat forming on his forehead as he anxiously avoided her disapproving gaze. “I’m sorry, Koizumi-san! I-I got lost and then there was this guy who harassed me and I had to chase him and then my bear flew away and I got even more lost!” Kazuichi stammered, hands seeming to go everywhere, before he whipped his head into Hinata’s direction, making him flinch. “But!! I made a friend! This is Hinata-kun! He showed me the way here!” Kazuichi happily explained, though the girl -Koizumi?- remained unimpressed as she scanned Hinata from top to bottom.

“That doesn’t excuse you from being late at all." she sighed as she looked back at the pink-haired boy. "I’ll forgive you this once, though, so you better not let it happen again!” Koizumi exclaimed as she put up a threatening finger in their direction. Kazuichi nodded rapidly, and though Hinata had nothing to do with this, he found himself nodding along.

The girl certainly had a… demanding character. However, for this world... she was still surprisingly ordinary. He could imagine her going to his school even, back when the world hadn’t Despaired and everyone had still been living their normal lives. He could see her in their boring school uniform, bossing him around and telling him what he was doing wrong, sharing her lunch with her best friends who she'd definitely have a soft spot for.

How did someone as ordinary as her, know an Ultimate Despair like Kazuichi? Wait, how did Komaeda know Kazuichi? Ultimate Despair fans didn’t usually meet up with the Ultimate Despair themselves, they just followed them. 

Komaeda had stood on the sidelines during the whole ordeal, but defensively put up his hands as Koizumi turned around to face him, prodding her finger into his chest. “Now, Komaeda! You were saying something about how you knew this boy?”

He hadn’t, but Komaeda just laughed awkwardly while discreetly trying to distance himself from the girl. “Ah, yeah, Hinata and I met at the library yesterday! We had a little talk, but I don’t really know him any further than that. Though, that’ll probably change!”

That last sentence had Hinata tense up; in fear or irritation, he didn’t know.

Koizumi made a contemplative noise before sighing and facing Hinata. “Well, since you know these two idiots, I better introduce myself too. My name is Koizumi Mahiru, you better remember it well!”

Hajime didn’t miss the thinly veiled threat at the end and quickly nodded. “Yeah no, sure, I won’t!”

Mahiru shook her head, almost seeming disappointed at his answer, before focusing on Kazuichi again. “Hey, Soda! Did you bring the stuff?”

The boy shook off his rigid posture and eagerly smiled, taking off the backpack he’d been carrying all this time and hugging it close to his chest. “Yup! You bet ya I have! I can’t wait! You’ll be able to make the prettiest photos, I promise! It’ll be…”

Hinata listened to Kazuichi ranting, frightened as he looked at the bag in the other's arms.

That was the bag where he’d gotten that explosive disk from.

What else was in there? What were they planning to do?

He should definitely leave.

Kazuichi was back into his own little world so it wouldn’t be too hard to sneak past him but Mahiru was pretty sharp, often glancing at him when he moved or looked at her for a little too long.

And of course, he also needed to look out for…

“Hinata-kun!”

Slowly turning his head to the side, he could see Komaeda walking up to him.

The guy looked smug, like the definition of “I told you so”.  
It irked Hinata’s nerves.  
So what if Komaeda’s predictions were true and they met again? That doesn’t mean they’ll have another conversation!  
He stepped back, away from Komaeda and cleared his throat. “I need to get home really, so if you wouldn’t mind me… I’ll be going then!” Hinata said the last part a little louder, interrupting Kazuichi's rant and making sure everyone heard him.

He forced a smile as he walked backwards, almost stumbling over someone lying on the ground as he eyed the three unsettling people in front of him. They were all watching him in return, their eyes sharp and observant.  
“It was really nice to meet you all.” _Not really._  
“But I really need to go! I-“ _Think of a lie, think of a lie!_  
“have plans?” _Meh,_ _not your best but not your worst either, now let’s g-_

Komaeda’s hands gripped his tightly and Hajime sighed, not even trying to get free. He knew better after yesterday; Komaeda had an inescapable, iron grip. _Goddammit too slow! _

“Uwaa~ but then you’ll miss the show! And Soda-kun really did his best to deliver! You should join us, or at least watch. Don’t you two think so too?” Komaeda asked as he looked back over his shoulder.  
Kazuichi nodded happily while Mahiru only crossed her arms. “If he doesn’t want to come, we can’t force him, Komaeda.” She looked from Komaeda back to Hinata.  
He could feel shivers slide down his spine as she suddenly smiled at him.

It wasn’t a warm smile.  
  
Her eyes were piercing, almost seeming to light up a bright red as she gingerly put a hand on her camera. “After all, he’ll be able to see and feel everything he needs to when I show him my pictures. You can always pass them along for me in case I don’t meet him in the future.” She said to Komaeda, her eyes turning hard as she canted her head, unsettling smile widening to an ugly grin. “Or are you suggesting my pictures can’t capture the essence of the past, after all?”

Nevermind, forget all his former thoughts. This girl was everything but ordinary. 

He didn’t want to see her pictures. At all. 

While Hinata felt himself quaking in his boots, Komaeda merely shook his head, laughing as he waved his hands. “Of course not! Someone as lowly as me would never dare suggest that someone like you couldn’t live up to your potential! If I did you could kill me and I’ll thank you for it, I promise, Koizumi-san!”

That seemed to satisfy the girl and she looked away, muttering something Hinata couldn’t hear.

“W-Well, if that’s settled, then I’ll be going…” Hajime exclaimed, voice wavering as he moved to get away from the trio.

“Ah, before you leave, one more thing!” Komaeda said and Hinata automatically stopped, looking back and inwardly screaming at the boy to hurry the fuck up.

“What is it now…?” He asked, barely able to contain his annoyance and panic. He wanted -no, _needed_\- to get away from these people. He’d reached his limit.

He would either start saying the wrong things, risking the chance of offending them -which was the last thing he wanted to do, or he’d collapse and have a panic attack. Neither one of them were good.

Faster than Hinata could process, Komaeda moved until his face was right in front of his. Hajime tried to back off, but the other’s returning grip on his arm prevented that from happening.

Hajime was lost in the other’s bright eyes for a moment; they seemed to shine with excitement and that same deranged insanity he’d noticed the day before. Of course, Komaeda’s wide smile was still plastered onto his face.

The boy then moved even closer, his warm breath ghosting over Hinata’s ear, his chest lightly touching his own. The hand on his arm tightened while another rested on his shoulder, fingertips lightly tracing the side of his neck.

Hinata shivered and Komaeda let out a chuckle as he noticed.

“I still need to make my guess, Hinata-kun. We made a deal, after all…” the white-haired boy whispered sweetly.

Hajime looked off to the side, trying to see Komaeda’s expression but was only able to get a face full of messy white hair. His brow furrowed in annoyance. “Then get on with it!”

The other let out a laugh this time. “Very well!”

Pulling back a little, Komaeda lifted a brow and searched Hinata’s face for any clues. It probably wouldn’t do the guy any good, only serving for Hajime to feel even more uncomfortable than he already was. _Too close!_

Komaeda canted his head. “Cleaning! Your Talent is 'cleaning'!” He exclaimed with a close-eyed smiled.

_What about my face told him that?!_

“Wrong. I’ll be taking my leave now…” Hinata said bluntly, but Komaeda didn’t let him go. Instead he looked deeper into his eyes, as if waiting for something to happen. “You really don’t know, do you?”

Hinata frowned. “Know what?”

“Hey, if you love birds are finally done talking over there, we have things to do!” Mahiru exclaimed and Hajime almost got whiplash from how fast Komaeda let him go, his warmth disappearing along with him. “Sorry, Koizumi-san! Got a little caught up in my own little world there!” Komaeda apologized, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Geez, it’s always the same with you!” Mahiru harrumphed, crossing her arms.

Komaeda smiled apologetically once more before turning back to Hinata.

“Hurry along now, Hinata-kun. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The last part was said with a secretive smile and a sharp glint in the boy’s eyes.

Hinata didn’t care about the weird last remark and he didn’t need to be told twice. He nodded politely to the group before turning around and getting out of there as fast as he could.

As he arrived at the end of the street, he made the mistake of looking back.

All three were watching him leave, eyes shining an unnatural red in the neon light of the club. 

  
Komaeda stood in the middle, smiling as he waved him goodbye.

  
Hinata rounded the corner and began running.

He could still feel those eyes on him the entire way back home.

He’d ignored his weak knees, the cold shivers and the general fear coursing through him as he ran. Blocking out the sounds of sudden explosions going off, shaking off the screams for help and the cries of pain.

_Who cares what happens to the world?_

The voices kept following him.

_You’ve always been a coward._

He kept running. Colors and shapes were swirling around him.

_It’s not my problem!_

He shut the door behind him and could finally breathe again, collapsing onto the floor and gasping for air.

He’s fine. He’s okay. He’s still alive. He made it out.

_It’s not his business._

The floor felt cold to his overheated skin and he laid down, closing his eyes like he’d done that same morning. He didn’t care about the skeleton under the stairs watching him or all the filth on the floor.

_It’s not his business_.

When he next woke up again he was lying in his bed.

He must’ve woken up at some point and dragged himself up to his apartment. Guess he was just so stressed and tired he forgot about it.

He fell back asleep again.

\---

The first thing he noticed was that this was not his dream.

This wasn’t his mind-space nor his usual scenery; no snow to be found.  
This was his Soulmate’s dream.

The sun was beating down on him and he was sitting on his knees, clothes dirtied and bloodied.  
He wasn’t very old, an elementary student at most Hinata guessed as he observed his small, pale hands.

He wasn’t really doing much, just sitting there, looking from the wrecked plane in front of him to his hands, towards the plane again. Some bodies were lying scattered on the ground here and there, and Hajime only now noticed the big piece of rock lying a few feet away.

More bodies were lying beneath it.

Hinata recognized them as his parents. Or rather, his Soulmate’s parents.

He looked further around and noticed the plane catching on fire; it would probably explode any second now.

Standing up, he dusted off his clothes.

He felt weirdly numb to all of this.

Why him?  
Why them?  
No, it’s because of him that it’s them.  
Of course, it was.

He should just die.

At least then he wouldn’t be all alone- wouldn’t be the cause to everyone’s misery anymore.

He began walking to the fire, determination in his steps. 

It was all his fault. All of it. He could only give bad luck- no, Despair to everyone he met. He couldn’t ever do anything good. He was worthless. He should just die. He should just-

  
The woman sitting in front of him had an irritated look on her face as she took off her glasses, sighing. She didn’t seem to like it very much when he said stuff like that.  
Wasn’t she supposed to be impartial to his thoughts, though? She didn’t get to judge his feelings, or that’s what he’d heard anyway.

“Look, you don’t have to die. You just need a purpose in life. Find your happiness. Your hope." She crossed her legs and tilted her chin, looking down on him even more than before. "Your parents died, which is truly a tragedy, but you also inherited a lot of money, did you not? That could resemble hope.

You could try to build towards something. You may experience failure at first, but that’s normal. That’s life. It has it’s ups and downs; bad is often followed by good and vice versa. Things will look up eventually and you’ll want to keep living at a certain point.” The woman explained, giving him a look that booked no argument.

“I-I see.”

So every bad moment also brings forth a good one… If only he could find this Despair. His most Despair inducing moment... he could change it into his biggest Hope!

His Talent will make sure of that!

For this, he- he’ll gladly become a steppingst-

_  
_

Hinata was standing in a room. It was colder in here, and he felt more aware than he had before.

He needed to get out of here.

He shouldn't be here.

He looked around and noticed the never-ending darkness around him, making the room almost seem endlessly big. The only other light came from another room, separated from his by thick glass. It was severely broken though, a spiderweb of cracks spreading over the entirety of the glass wall, as if someone had repeatedly slammed something into it.

_  
"Will you leave me too?"_

  
He could see a huddled figure on the other side.

_“Can I trust you not to?”_

  
The room went dark. He felt tired.

_  
“Just stay here..."_

_  
_For once, Hajime might actually listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though I’ve watched the dub version of the series, I have heard Komaeda’s sub and can I just say- I LOVE HIS VOICE,,, Like, IT’S SO FUCKING HOTT 
> 
> komaeda: "sore wa chigau yo."  
Hinata and the entire fandom: ashdjfghk HaVe My BaBiEs pLZ
> 
> iT’s VoiCed bY A WOMAN! LIKE DAMN!! SHE’S A GODDESS and i will PRAY


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it's been so long. This chapter was a little difficult to write, though I'm happy with it now -kinda-
> 
> Btw, pls check out the endnotes later!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Hinata was standing in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables and waiting for the water to finally boil. The sun was shining outside, warming his tanned skin and lighting up the room in a soft, golden glow.

He liked cooking, it calmed him down and helped him organize his chaotic thoughts into something he could understand.  
That didn’t mean he was good at it, though; his mom had taught him how to cook, so he knew the basics of how to make a decent meal, but he's no pro. 

He sighed and laid down the knife, putting the vegetables in the now boiling water while making sure it didn’t splash up or spill.  
She always liked to make healthy dishes, hating the junk food she so often saw people eat on tv and outside. She believed a healthy mind resided in a healthy body, and thus to achieve success in life, you had to sleep 8 hours a day and eat as much fruit and vegetables as you could. His mom's Talent was Planning; she'd planned out Hinata's life from beginning to end, which started with three healthy meals every day. 

She was a little controlling, but she truly meant well.  
His mom and dad weren't Soulmates, but they were happy, and they'd often given him hope that he could be too, even if he'd never find his Soulmate.  
Though, of course, there was the difference they both had a Talent and he didn't. 

Seeing his shadow move in the corner of his eye, Hinata turned to look at it.

It was smiling. Just like he was.  


D̶̡̰͕̟̻̑̉̈̇̌͘̚ï̴̧͇̩̮̲̞͖͂͘͜d̷̫̬̙̼̮̹̞͊͜ ̴̛͖̒͑̈́͋̀͆̚i̵̢̩͖̺̯̠̳͑͂̕̚t̴̛͔̐͒ ̵̲̤̲̞̙̣̜̌̾́͒̈̄̑͝s̴̡̡̛̤͇̗̳̲̊̎e̷̡̫̰̲̼͝ȩ̷̘̤̲̳͛̑̆̃̚͘m̶̡̼̠͈͖̤̄̌ ̴̨͔̘̭̤̪͈̤͛̔͗̌d̵̼̖͖̲͚̫̥̋̉i̸̘͕͋̈́̋̆͘͝f̸̞͔̼̺̘̤͓̍̊͑͌͋̈́f̵͇̳̞̒̒̑̓͂͜ē̷͚̄͊̆r̵̢̤̺̗̳͗̚ę̷̦̼͓̣͕͖̩͑̏̔̽̅͋͘n̶̡͙̱̣͈̰̙͙͛͌t̵̛̫̬̦̼͖̳͈͗̿̓̇̇̃̒ͅ ̶̗͍̃͜s̷̠̹̬͈̗̺̦͖̄̔o̶̯̐͐͋͌̍͋̊̔m̶̨̥̻̒ȩ̵̞̰̦̝̒̿̊̏͒̑͒͠h̸̦̟̻̩̭͙̼͈̓͛̇͋ǫ̴̨̖̠͇̖͉͗̑̈́͘͝w̷̭̼̣͊̍̍?̶͚͖̙̄

  
Two arms encircled his waist, surprising him out of his thoughts, a warm breath tickling the back of his neck.

He smiled and went back to cutting his vegetables.

h̴̬̪̠͑͛̿a̵̹̮̱͋͜͝d̶͖̙̑̾̈̊ñ̶̳͓́̕'̴̭̻͇͈̂̽̅ť̶̠̬̅͝͝ ̷͚͚͇͊̂I̷̦̝̿͆ ̴̣̘͒a̵͙̲͐ḽ̷̖͌͐̚r̴̻̹̠̙͒͂͗e̵̛̮̥͍̐̓ä̷̻̖́̈̕d̸̝͍͛̓̒͗y̴̡͕̞̟͗́ ̵̯͎̥̻͗̇̒d̴̦͉̜̮̐̒o̵̥̤͍̿ņ̵͙̠̗͑͝͠e̵̝ ̵̢̥̜̈́̅͘ẗ̷̺́̋̽̊h̶̗̲̐̒i̶͉̙̐͛͋s̷̨͉̽͊?̷͕̗̌̊

“Welcome home, how was your day?” Hajime inquired, leaning into the warm embrace.

No answer followed, though weirdly enough, he already knew what they wanted to say. “I’m glad. My day went fine too. Though, we’re out of milk, would you mind buying some later?” He asked, once again putting the knife down.

He could feel them nod against his shoulder and Hinata smiled at the childish gesture. “Thanks a lot, I don’t really feel like going outside today…” he muttered the last part as he moved to put the cut vegetables in the water again.

Only to stop when he noticed a bright crimson all over the kitchen counter, staining his hands.

_Ah._

The vegetables he’d just cut weren’t vegetables, but his own fingers.

** W****̷͊̾͝****̆****̡̢͚̫̩̘̜̟̭̘̤̥****A****̓****̈́̈́̽****́****̣K****̅****̦̗̥̩̹̰̫͚̻****E****̴͝****̓̓̆****̢̡̢̬̦͔̜̫̯͍͈͈̦͍̗͔̈́̿͋̌͜͜͜͠͝** **̷͆****̉****̋͑͘****̅****̋͑͘****̆****̾****̅****̉****͆̂͒****̓****̪̰̳͌****̱****̢̠͎̝. ****̱****͜****U****̉****͆****͗̌̚****̄****̟͍̖͓̬̹͖̹̗͕͜****P****̵****̀****̈****̬͔͕̪̮͔̈́͊͑̂̾̐̌**

**  
\---**

Hinata woke up screaming.  
  
  
He jolted out of bed only to fall straight to the floor, his head hitting the ground with a loud ‘thump’. It didn’t even register, not behind all the fear clogging up his mind.  
His limbs were trembling as he tried to push himself up again, vision blurring and thoughts a chaotic mess.

_I need to be sure- I have to know- How could I not have- get UP!_

He stood up, panting and moaning as he dragged himself to the mirror in the bathroom, vaguely noticing the crimson light filtering in through the curtains -a sign of reality- but he didn’t stop. He _needed_ to be sure.

Eventually supporting himself on the sink, he gazed into the broken mirror before him and sighed a breath of relief.

Brown hair and tanned skin.

_Thank God._

_I’m still me._

He touched his mirror image, olive eyes staring back at him, glazed over with fading panic and exhaustion. Hinata’s eyes strayed to his bedroom, to his sheets lying abandoned on the filthy floor and his book lying almost hidden under his nightstand.

He really wasn’t safe anywhere, was he? Not even in his sleep, his own mind…

An overwhelming dizziness made him grip the sink once more, groaning as he nearly collapsed.

…He’d almost wanted to stay.  
It’s just… Everything had felt so warm… like everything he could ever want was right there at his fingertips; like he could have a normal life with his Soulmate.

They sure knew how to tempt his Soul. The darkness within them calling out to his own desires and wants, going as far as to create a space for Hajime in their own mind to keep him trapped there…

It’s frightening.

It’s frightening how often this was happening lately. Normally it only happened once every few months, but now…

Did this mean they were nearby?

Hinata had often been told when he was younger that how more vivid the dreams you had, the closer your Soulmate was.  
It wasn’t exactly the same, but he could definitely say their attempts were getting stronger and more constant by the day. 

It had gotten particularly worse when... the Ultimate Despair arrived into the city…

That must mean they’re one of those people who follow the Despair around, right? _Fans_…

While Hinata did have a particular dislike against the Despair fans, he... he guessed it’s better than them being dead.

While the grey, dull color of being Talentless already made him hate the mark, having to see an empty black would be even worse. Seeing all Hope fade as you could feel them die… Hinata shivered. 

He’d heard that feeling your Soulmate die an unnatural death was one of the most painful things you could ever experience, both physically and mentally. You’d be able to feel their pain as the life drained out of them, and atop of that, your link to each other would be severed completely. You’d be able to feel how it’s like to be truly alone in this world.

It’s worse than losing a limb, or your sanity for that matter.

Feeling your Soulmate die like that… It’s like your entire world has just caved in. Your existence wouldn’t be worth anything anymore.

The apocalypse would be a cakewalk compared to that. 

So he’s not exactly complaining about them trying to pull him out of his own body or them being one of the Despair fans. So long as they kept themselves alive and didn’t let him feel that excruciating pain which would undoubtedly lead him to give up on life, he’s fine.

Though it was still _slightly_ inconvenient…

Hinata stumbled back to the bedroom, where he fell back in his bed. His head was throbbing, and he felt like a very heavy weight was pressing down on him from all sides.

It had never been this bad before... He’d never been this tired after either and he soon fell back asleep, hoping this time they would leave him alone.

\---

The streets were more silent than usual, an oppressive air bearing down on anyone who dared go outside.

Hajime felt it too and noticed it only got stronger the closer he got towards the center.

No wonder, really. It’s only been three days since the Ultimate Despair: Kazuichi Soda, unleashed his Talent upon the city. Hinata had only seen parts of it. How explosions suddenly seemed to be everywhere, beginning from Persephone’s Lair and then spreading to the rest of the city.

He didn’t know how Kazuichi planted those bombs there so quickly and he didn’t want to know; it must’ve had something to do with his Talent. He just knew it had been an awful thing to witness.

Hinata observed the scorch marks on the building next to him and shook his head. He was supposed to go inside that building so he could safely cross one of the main streets, but he’ll make a detour. The aftermath inside there, a place he knew to be a hideout for a lot of druggies, was not something he wanted to see today.

He pulled his jacket closer around himself and turned around.  
It was snowing again and though he knew that he should probably stay inside, rest a little longer, he couldn’t take too long. His body was weak, yes, but his food supply was running out as was his soap and- Hinata shivers, his toothpaste.

It had taken three days for him until he could walk normally again. Three days of having to eat more than normal in order to have a speedy recovery and three days of not going outside.

His Soulmate had let him sleep, though only during the day, when they themselves were probably awake. Hinata had decided that in the days he’d recuperate, he would not sleep at night, as a safety precaution.

Now that he was able to go outside again he didn’t want to waste any time. He knew most of the food was hidden in the center of the city. He wasn’t fit enough to tread the dangerous ruins of the east and the west seemed to be nothing but a wasteland in terms of food. The south he himself had scouted already and the north… Is a place he’ll never set foot in if it was up to him.

Of course, it wasn’t.

“Hey, Hinata!” The voice of a girl rang out through the clearing.

Hinata blinked and noticed he was standing next to a little playground, a swing not two feet away from him. He must’ve wandered quite a bit, lost in his own thoughts. Well, not that it mattered much, he knew this city like the back of his hand after all these years, he would probably know his way around blindfolded.

He turned around and felt himself grow rigid.

_Ah, just my luck. _

A red-haired girl was running towards him, waving her arm while making sure her camera was safe from the snow with the other. “Hey there, Koizumi…-san!”

He belatedly added the -san, reminded of the fact that she seemed pretty strict on manners, and released a breath when she didn’t comment on his almost-fuck-up.

“It’s nice seeing you here again! Apparently you’ve been inside for a few days now, huh? Haven’t been feeling well?” She asked, crossing her arms as she stopped beside him.

He only now noticed it, but she almost had the same eye color as him, though her green was a little more prominent while his had a little more of a yellowish tint to them.  
Her cheeks and nose were red from the cold and stood out almost cutely from her pale skin.

Looking at her like this, with her red scarf and hair, and her white jacket and translucent like skin, she reminded him of his dream. Snow tainted by a warm blood…

“I have indeed been sick for a little while… How did you know?” Hinata asked but as soon as he finished his sentence he somehow already knew.

“Komaeda told me. Y’know I don’t think he’s ever talked about anyone this much, except for maybe the Ultimate Despair. And that’s saying something. You must’ve done something pretty special to earn his attention like that, huh?”

Hajime laughed awkwardly, looking away from her probing gaze. He didn’t really want to answer her- mainly because he didn’t know what to say. ‘Something special’… He had done no such thing. He didn’t get Komaeda at all. Hinata was just a random guy trying his best to survive the apocalypse.

Nothing special at all.

But that aside- How did Komaeda know he hadn’t been outside the past few days?! He couldn’t actually trust his Luck so much that he truly believes they’ll meet _every _day. That’s crazy… But on the other hand... it _is_ the boy’s Talent to be Lucky, and he did seem pretty insane the last two times Hinata spoke with him…

“Ah~ no idea. But uh- Did you need something?” He asked, polite smile plastered onto his face like a sticky mask.  
He really wanted to get out of here.  
He hadn’t forgotten how this girl could flip her shit in like a second. Going from a normal, average, teenage girl, to someone who could belong in a horror movie. The way she’d smiled at him yesterday, threatened Komaeda with only her eyes and tone of voice; it was still chilling to think about. 

“Actually, now that you mention it, I would like you to help me carry something! It really is way too heavy for me to carry all alone, but I’m sure you could do it! You are a boy after all! Right?” She arched her brow and Hajime unwillingly nodded, as if on command. “I- uhm- yes!”

She clapped her hands, grinning up at him as she turned around. “Great! Follow me then! It’s really not that far from here!”

Quickly trailing after the girl, Hinata watched as she strutted through the snow, her head held high and a light twinkling in her eye. She felt so different from from everyone else, normal like him but not at the same time.

She quirked a brow at him and he quickly looked away.  
  
They were silent for a few seconds, though it felt like minutes, a huge pressure weighing down on him to say something and alleviate the air. “So, uh, Koizumi-san. You’re a photographer, right?”

She rolled her eyes, though a small smile graced her lips “Gee, Where did you get that idea, Hinata?”

The boy snorted and looked away, abashed by his stupid question. “Yeah, not the best question. I just meant, uhm- what do you like about it?”

Mahiru gave him a look like he was the biggest screw up she’d ever seen, but sighed as she shook her head and looked away. Her eyes looked sad, filled with a longing which she knew would never be fulfilled.

“What I like about photographing… It’s everything really. The freedom. The peace it brings me. The happiness when I take that perfect picture. I like making the past into something real, something you can hold onto. That’s what taking pictures is all about, really: capturing the moment, the feeling of it, the joy, the sadness. I want to enrapture people, want to make them feel an emotion, want to change their views and perspectives. I want them to feel like they belong in the picture, like they’re actually there. When I achieve something like that, you can see it in people’s expressions and if I have to choose what I like most about photography, it has to be that.” She said with a soft smile.

A strange feeling arose in Hinata as he pondered her words. He couldn’t exactly lay his finger on it but… It felt an awful lot like envy and a soft melancholy which he decided to ignore. He’d never had something he was so enthusiastic about. Never really had a love for anything. He never had any hobbies or particular activities he enjoyed. He just looked at Hopes Peak High and felt the same envy he was feeling now.

Wow, he’d really been pathetic.

“Wow, that’s really admirab-“ he began but he was quickly interrupted by Mahiru’s cackling. She was holding a hand before her mouth to try and stifle it, but it didn’t help and soon she was full on laughing. Hinata frowned as she nearly fell over, hands wavering over her to steady her if need be, until she suddenly straightened and closed the gap between them, making him stiffen up in fear. Her eyes, just like a few days ago, were shining a bright red, a wide, cruel grin taking over her face. 

“That’s what I would’ve said like two years ago! Ah~ the look on your face was amazing Hinata! I should’ve taken a picture. All those negative emotions, I’m sure other’s would’ve been able to feel your Despair if I had! I wonder, you looked so sad, so envious, is it because you haven’t seen any of my photos yet? I have some now if you’d like to see.”

She stepped closer, her hands reaching in her bag which hung over her shoulder. Hinata stepped back.

“That’s r-really not necessary Koizumi-san! We should probably hurry, right? I mean we-“

He stumbled when the back of his knees hit a bench behind him and he fell down, cold snow soaking his pants. Mahiru finally pulled out what she had been searching for out of her bag and turned to Hinata, even going as far as to lean and tower over him, something which she wouldn’t have been able to do if he’d still been standing. “Geez, are you saying you _don’t_ want to see my photos? You wouldn’t insult me like that, would you Hinata? My photos are my everything, my only reason for existence. You wouldn’t just discard them like trash right? Right?!”

“I-I don’t-”  
“You’ll feel so elated when you see them! My art is said to mesmerize my viewers. Some will stare at them for days, others will see the world like they never have before. I can make you feel Despair and Hope, sadness and anger, lust and disgust, envy and pride, fear and _pure_ bliss! Don’t you want to live, Hinata? Don’t you want to _actually_ feel?”

Mahiru’s face was only inches away from his now. He could feel her breath on his lips, could feel her knees against his, could feel her insanity clash against his common sense, trying to find an escape.

And still, he felt calm. He didn’t know how or why, he was probably scared so shitless his emotions just stopped working properly, but he finally realised he should probably try and calm down the girl in front of him. 

“I would love to see your photos sometime, Koizumi-san, I’m sure they’re beautiful and I’ve never doubted that, nor will I ever in the future, but I don’t really have time to go through all of them right now. I still need to carry something for you, right? “Hinata smiled, softly pushing at Mahiru’s shoulder. “When I look at your photos, I want to take my time and appreciate them the way they should be appreciated. I don’t want to rush it.”

Mahiru frowned, standing up straight again and taking a step back. She put a hand to her chin, deep in thought, before nodding and pointing a finger at him. “I’ll be holding you to that! Next time I’ll bring my album and we’ll sit down somewhere, okay!?”

Hinata stood back up, rubbing the snow off his pants while laughing softly. “It’s a promise! Now, please show me what I need to carry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so  
There are a lot of AMVs with Komahina which are so God_Damn_Under_Rated!!!!  
They're so good, yet still have so few views and it ticks me off! (/ﾟДﾟ)/
> 
> So, I'll be leaving the name to some underrated AMVs I like in all the endnotes from now on!! 
> 
> This is my All-Time FAVORITE Komahina AMV  
It is so fucking beautiful and underrated, it pains my heart  
if you have time, check it out!
> 
> Name: hate your guts -- komahina  
from: snap dragon
> 
> PS: if you liked the story so far, leave a kudos or a comment! They warm my anxiety-riddled heart! ⭐️


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m bacckk~  
I just wanted to thank you all for all the lovely comments and kudos I’ve received! I’m truly so so grateful for anyone who reads this fic or comments or leaves a kudos! I’m so happy this fic is doing so well!! ^^  
So, yeah, thank you!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Hinata was pretty well built. He wouldn’t say he was exceptionally strong, but he definitely wasn’t some wimp.  
Before the world had been in ruins, he occasionally used to work out and since the apocalypse started, his body definitely toned down a little more.

However… Whatever was in this bag _had_ to be the heaviest thing he’d ever lifted.

They were currently walking through town, Mahiru smiling silently next to him as he panted and winced, trying to make sure the black bag didn’t fall off his shoulder. _This bag… It looks an awful lot like a body ba-_

“So, Koizumi-san, you never told me what exactly it is I’m carrying?” His voice wavered at the end, causing his statement to sound like a question and making him frown in irritation. The girl might be scary sometimes, but that was no reason to act so subserviently.

She looked back at him from over her shoulder, quirking a brow. “It’s just a present for a friend of mine. We’re almost there anyway, so you’re almost done!”

_Gh! She evaded the question!_

Hinata’s already awkward smile turned into a full-on grimace, brows drawn in concern and a slight annoyance. _Just don't think about it... _

She didn't seem to notice his distress though, her eyes becoming passionate as she began talking about her friend. “She’s very talented, y’know! Pretty well taught in medicine and trying to invent all kinds of different things! All that while still taking care of her patients and continuing her work as a regular nurse! Isn’t that amazing!”

He nodded along, only half listening to what she was saying. He felt tired.

He felt like time was slipping away from him bit by bit. Earlier too, before Mahiru had called him out, he’d been so dazed that he hadn’t even noticed where he’d been walking to. He'd only stayed on track because he subconsciously remembered the way…  
Should he have taken a few more days to rest?

A harsh slap to the back of his head pulled him out of his dazed state, almost making him drop the bag he was holding. “It’s impolite not to listen when someone’s talking. Don’t you have any manners?”

He could only stutter as her eyes drilled into his, lips drawn into a firm line as her hands rested on her hips. She looked like his mom when she was angry.

Mahiru sighed at his lack of answer and shook her head disappointedly. “As I was saying, if you’re still feeling unwell then maybe I could introduce you to her?”

Hinata’s eyes widened at the kind gesture, but then remembered where he was and when. He was living in the Great Tragedy for heaven’s sake. No nurse would be just a nurse.  
He smiled at the kind offer - though it probably came out more like another pained grimace- while firmly shaking his head. “That won’t be necessary, really… I’m in tip-top shape.” Hinata could see the girl deflate and before he knew it he’d put a hand on her shoulder, smiling softly. “Thanks for the offer though, Koizumi-san, it’s really kind of you!”

She seemed stumped for a second, her clear, green eyes widening as a blush spread over her freckled face.  
For a moment she almost looked vulnerable. Cute.

Then she frowned and shrugged him off, looking in front of her again and away from him. “It’s nothing, geez… Don’t make such a big deal out of it if you’re not even going to accept the offer!” she grumbled, and Hinata cringed, laughing awkwardly. “Ah, yeah, I guess that’s true…”

He adjusted the bag on his shoulder, ready to follow after the girl who had suddenly decided to amp the tempo, only to freeze in pure shock.

They were currently standing on an empty road, painted white and black, almost like the keys of a piano; the area around them was completely deserted. Trees stood on either side of the road, crimson leaves hanging on their tranches, softly moving in the wind. Under them grew roses as red as the sky; they didn’t seem to wither at all, standing still in time as the cold froze them over.

Hajime knew this road and knew that, even though it seemed to stretch out forever at first sight, if he squinted his eyes enough, he'd be able to see it in the distance.

The castle, standing tall and proud, obsidian towers reaching the crimson skies easily.

The castle all the Ultimate Despair resided in.

And of course Enoshima Junko herself.

He started stumbling back.

How hadn’t he noticed they’d left the center and entered the northern side of the city!? How had he just ignored his surroundings and followed Mahiru like a lost duck? 

The girl in question looked back at him, frowning slightly as she smiled hesitantly. “What’s the matter, Hinata? We’re almost there… Ah!”

She looked at something behind him and reached out, saying something but Hinata didn’t listen, could only look at her in shock. Did this mean…

W-was she a…

He dropped the bag into the snow and turned around-

Only to collide right into something else, the air leaving his lungs in a quick breath as he slammed into it. He nearly fell to the ground unable to keep his balance, before hands grabbed his shoulder and waist, successfully steadying him. The hands were surprisingly cold, even in comparison to the cold winter air and it shocked him right out of his momentary stupor.

As he gingerly looked up, he felt the last of the air leave him entirely. Before him stood a pale, white-haired boy, his ever-present smile turning into a tame grin as his eyes closed in mirth. “Hinata-kun, so nice to see you’re well again!”

Komaeda’s voice was soothing to his ears and somehow seemed to calm his nerves a bit, but that only freaked him out more and he quickly unentangled himself from the other boy, stepping back and stumbling over the bag he’d just dropped. How had he not heard him?! Even now he could hear the chain clattering loudly around his neck!

He felt dizzy.

“Hinata, is everything alright? You’ve been kinda out of it a lot today and just now… Are you sure I shouldn’t introduce you to that friend of mine?” Mahiru asked him as she came to stand next to them.

He blinked from where he was staring at the ground and looked up, right into her worried eyes.

When he looked off to the side he could see Komaeda observing him with the same worried expression.

Was he looking that bad?

“I-I’m fine. I just didn’t know you were an uhm…” Hinata stopped his sentence midway as the girl in question canted her head. “Nevermind, it’s nothing a little rest can’t fix… So, uh, it’s best if I go home to do just that! Maybe Komaeda over here could help you carry the bag?” He asked hopefully, seeing a chance to escape the situation as well as Komaeda.

The girl frowned at him for a while, sharp eyes looking into his as if she could read his mind, before sighing. “I can carry it myself for the rest of the way. Komaeda should stay with you and make sure you don’t collapse, or anything. Also, I’m sure he missed you with the way he’s been talking about you non-stop.”

That, for some weird reason, had Hajime blushing. A faint red tint covering his cheeks as he took a glance at Komaeda who looked quite embarrassed himself, averting his gaze to the side with a shy laugh.  
From what Mahiru had said earlier, Hinata already knew Komaeda had talked about him a lot, but to have her say it while the guy himself was right next to them was somehow way more embarrassing.

“Ah! But before I go, I do want to give you one photo! It’s from three days ago. Since you missed most of it, I thought I’d give you one of my pictures so you could join in on the fun!” Mahiru exclaimed, smiling brightly as she gave him an envelope.  
Hinata blanched.

Three days ago… When they were at Persephone’s Lair? Oh, God.

“I-“ He closed his mouth immediately after he opened it. He couldn’t refuse. If he did… He’d probably offend her as a photographer, wouldn’t he?

That’s something he should try to avoid. Definitely now that he knew she was an Ultimate Despair…

“Thank you, Koizumi-san.” He accepted the envelop and put it in his pocket, making sure not to wrinkle or tear it. The girl smiled up at him, and Hinata almost thought she looked giddy. “You can stop using the honorifics, okay? I don’t use them either…”

Before Hajime could try and pick up his chin from the ground and respond, the girl turned around and heaved the bag from the ground as if it weighed nothing. “I’ll see you guys around then! Komaeda, make sure Hinata gets home safe, yeah?”

And then with that last smile, she just turned around and walked away.

Hinata decided to ignore the hand that seemed to half fall out of the black bag, along with the chill running down his spine, and instead turned around to face the boy behind him.

Who’d been watching the entire display with a dazed grin on his face.

“W-what? What are you grinning about all creepily…” Hinata muttered, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the other’s intense gaze.  
“Nothing! I was just thinking how well you two got along! It was truly a Hope filling sight to behold!” The other exclaimed, clasping his hands in front of him as if he was making a prayer.

Hinata frowned. “Hope? You do know she’s an Ultimate Despair, right? She just went into the Black Castle! Whatever about her do you think is Hopeful?!” He asked exasperated, eyeing the boy next to him with wide eyes. Komaeda merely smiled. “Ah, it doesn’t matter! I wouldn’t expect you to understand my petty reasoning anyway.”

Hinata’s brow twitched.

_There he goes again, with that weird self-deprecating crap…_

“Let’s make another deal; I’ll spend the rest of my day with you, and you won’t say anything bad about yourself until I’m gone. Yeah?”

Komaeda’s eyes widened to the size of saucers and Hinata pretty much had the same reaction, though with the added embarrassment of feeling himself grow red at his own words.

W-Why would he say that?! He shouldn’t want to spend _more_ time with the lunatic, goddammit! And he didn’t! It’s just annoying having to listen to someone talk so badly about themselves all the goddamn time!

Who even said the other boy would want to spend his _entire_ day with him?  
_Surely_ he’ll say no…!

Komaeda stepped forward and right into Hajime’s space, eyes shining like stars and hands frantically grasping onto his jacket. “I-You-We-Are you sure!? Do you really want to spend time with someone as lowly as m-“

Before Hajime knew it, he’d covered the boy’s mouth with his hand, shivering as he could feel the other’s hot breath ghosting over his fingers. “Yes, I mean it, which means no bad talking yourself from now on. Got it?”

The other nodded his head, white hair swinging to all sides. “G-Great. I’ll, uhm, let you go then.” Hinata mumbled, removing his hand from Komaeda’s lips awkwardly and stepping back, trying to create some space between them. Guess he was really doing this, huh? Spending the day with a nutjob who scared the shit out of him and weirded him out as all hell…

Hinata fully ignored the creeping feeling inching along the back of his skull, whispering he didn’t mind this as much as he was pretending it to be.

The other didn’t seem to notice his trepidation -or internal conflict- as he happily grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and tugged him along, quietly muttering to himself. “I’m so happy to be in this position, I’m so damn lucky, so lucky I can’t believe it. Maybe I should pinch myself to make sure I’m not making this up?”

Hajime shook his head, a concerned grimace spreading over his face. “I’d rather you not.”

Komaeda laughed as he looked back and saw Hinata’s pained expression, waving his hand and saying something along the lines of it being a joke. 

He watched Komaeda’s back as they walked through the streets, the way his dark jacket hugged his small waist and broad shoulders. His hand tightly gripping his sleeve as he pulled Hinata further along, as if afraid he’d run away or disappear at any second.  
He noticed the way Komaeda’s eyes lit up as he talked about something he found interesting or how his chain clattered with every single movement. With every step.

It reminded him a lot of the wind chime he’d had at home. The one he’d stare at for hours when he was bored or tired, eating ice cream while enjoying the summer heat on his skin.

Hinata frowned when they suddenly came to a stop, lightly shaking his head and blinking up from where he’d been staring at Komaeda’s back.

Only to be inches away from said boy’s concerned face, grey-green eyes overtaking his vision and white hair tickling his face. Geez, talk about a déjà-vu…

“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet for a while now and you don’t look too good. I think Koizumi-san was right, you should go home.” Komaeda muttered the last part, but they were still standing close enough for Hinata to hear him and he vividly shook his head. “What? No, I made a promise that I’d spent the rest of my day with you. I keep my promises.” He said stubbornly. His words were slightly slurred though, and his mind felt fuzzy. Maybe Mahiru and Komaeda were right and he really should rest; he’d overworked himself.

He ignored those thoughts, though, and Komaeda’s worried eyes as he finally stepped back and cleared his throat in an attempt to steady himself, physically as well as mentally.

“Where are we even going? You never really mentioned th-” he froze, feeling like he’d just been dunked in an ice bath as a sudden realization washed over him. “Wait, what were you even doing back there? Don’t tell me… D-Do you live there too…“

Komaeda quickly waved his hands as if to swap away Hinata’s ridiculous accusations, a full-on laugh escaping his lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it! Someone like me-“ at Hinata’s pointed, but tired, glare Komaeda awkwardly cleared his throat. “-I mean, I could never live with people as amazing as them!” Ugh, not much better, but he’ll take it.  
“Plus, I’m nothing like them. They’re filled with so much potential! Their Despair could bloom into such a beautiful Hope and I can only despair myself that I’ll get the chance to see it.”

Hinata forced his lips into a strained, tired smile. “So you don’t live in the castle?”

“Nope! I live in a house just outside of the city.” Komaeda explained as he began tugging on Hajime’s sleeve again. 

Hinata let out an irritated sigh, standing still. “Stop pulling on my jacket, what are you, five? And what were you even doing at the castle if you don’t live there?”

Komaeda turned around again, a close-eyed smile plastered onto his face; he did sort of look like a five-year-old child when he did that…

“Well, this morning before I saw you scavenging for food, I was running from this creepy Monokuma robot and I saw a strawberry plant hidden behind some trash bins. I thought I could take you to it, but then you were suddenly talking to Koizumi-san, so I just decided to lay back and followed you out here!”

_T-There were so many things wrong with that sentence! _

Hinata could only stutter at the other’s answer. “Strawberry pl- It’s the middle of the winter?! And chased b-by a Monokuma- NO WAIT A MINUTE! Have you been _following_ me?!”

The other chuckled as if he’d just said something embarrassing. As if he hadn’t just admitted to following Hinata all around town and to the Black Castle! 

“Guilty as charged, I guess!”

Hinata had said this before but… this boy was _insane_.

He stumbled back.

“Wha- I- You can’t just do that! Why would you even do that!?” He stuttered, eyes wide and panicked.

Komaeda finally seemed to notice his distressed state and started waving his hands in front of him, trying to reassure him. “It’s nothing weird really. It’s like I said before; you’re interesting. You’re _normal_. I don’t know what to make of you. I want to find out what kind of person you are. Which one of the two you’re supposed to represent. That’s all!”

_Gh! Why is he acting like that’s at all normal?!_

Hinata frowned. _Which one of the two… He meant in terms of Luck, didn’t he? _  
Hajime could remember the boy saying something along those lines the first time they met. But still, why would it matter what kind of luck he was? It’s only because Komaeda's Luck and desire to see him, along with the fact that he was -apparently- actively stalking him, that they saw each other every time Hinata left the house. Otherwise, they would’ve probably never met again and it wouldn’t have mattered either way…

Ugh, Hajime could feel the headache building up.

Fortunately, Komaeda didn’t seem like the dangerous type, though. Sure he was unsettling, weird and way too enthusiastic about Hope and Despair and his weird Luck, but he had yet to show any true hostility towards him.  
Hajime sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Why him? He hadn’t done a single remarkable thing since meeting him, so why did Komaeda choose him to obsess about? Looking back up in Komaeda’s eyes he dropped his hand to his side, subconsciously already knowing that nothing he’d say or do would get through to the white-haired boy.

“Fine, next time just… Come and say hello or something?” He muttered, hoping that if the boy decided to stalk him again, Hajime would at least _know_ he was being followed.

Komaeda nodded eagerly, smiling from ear to ear. “Yeah, yeah! Of course! A wonderful idea!”

Hinata’s eye twitched as the other didn’t even dispute the fact that he’d probably be following him again.

He also decided to ignore the self-deprecating comment Komaeda just made about himself, too tired to reprimand the other, and instead focused on where they were going. If Komaeda saw the bush before he’d seen Hinata scavenging, then it must’ve been back somewhere in the center, right?

“Where’s that bush anyway? You weren’t lying about its existence, right?” Hajime questioned, voicing his thoughts as he started walking again. 

“Of course not, I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that! It’s only about an hour away from where we are right now”, Komaeda declared with a content smile, falling into step next to him.

Hajime sighed. This would be the longest trip- no, _day_ in his life, and he only had himself to thank for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my exams are starting next week and it'll probably take a while before I'll update again. ( ´△｀)  
Sorry about that...
> 
> Now, as for the AMV! This one blessed my eyes, purified my soul and gave me immortality; it deserves so much more attention!  
So if you have time, make sure to watch it! :3
> 
> Name: Afterlife | SDR2; Komahina  
From: Annxmatron


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Seventy-five percent of the world had a Talent.  
Sure, it might be something small like being the best puzzle solver or always being able to find your way wherever you may be or even being the best in folding clothes, but still- a Talent was a Talent.

Some had the same Talent but slightly different. You could, for example, be the best in drawing anime characters while someone else could be the best in drawing plants and nature. Both of your Talents would be drawing, but you’d be good at it in different aspects.  
There is also always the possibility that someone has the same Talent as you, there are a lot of people in the world, after all- though this doesn't happen too often.

Hope’s Peak Academy would pick people with the most useful Talents, those of who they were sure could make a difference in the world, and eventually, when these individuals would graduate, the school would gift them with the title of "Ultimate".  
That was, of course, the reason why not all people could get accepted into Hope’s Peak. Not everyone could be the Ultimate Painter, so they would use tests and whatnot to select their students.   
The school was also very critical about what kind of Talents they chose: being the best in picking locks wouldn’t get you anywhere in life, wouldn’t move people’s hearts, wouldn’t create the Hope the academy was so desperate to achieve.

Still...Hinata would rather have some flimsy and stupid Talent than none at all.

At least then he could feel a little significant. If he could be the best in _something_ he’d perhaps start feeling like a _someone_, like he wasn’t just an empty vessel for people to judge and look down upon.

It’s ironic but he wasn’t even good at being bad. He was so average in _everything_.  
He wasn’t smart enough to get into Hope’s Peak Reserve Course or dumb enough to just stop thinking and enjoy life.

In the end, Hajime was nothing more than part of the crowd, looking in on other people’s lives.

And then you had Komaeda. Someone blessed with a Talent as amazing as _Luck _and he didn’t have anything good to say about himself. How can this boy be so self-deprecating, when he had such an incredible Talent?

Sighing to himself, Hajime looked up towards the sky. He couldn’t see the sun behind the dark, red clouds, but he could see from the amount of daylight they were getting that it had long since passed its highest point.

He had a watch which also came in handy, but he much rather used the sky as his cue for when to call it a day and go home. A watch could easily tell what time it was, sure, but the sky changed easily throughout the year; sometimes it’s dark at seven and sometimes at ten. And sometimes the crimson clouds could get so thick, it’d get dark at 12 p.m.   
So, observing the sky and the amount of daylight that was left was his preferred method. 

Hinata still felt kinda out of it as they stepped further towards their destination, further away from the big mansions of the north and towards the tall buildings and skyscrapers of the center. He tried to keep himself level headed though as he walked next to Komaeda, who didn’t seem able to stop smiling.

Or talking for that matter.

“Say, Hinata-kun, did you know that you’re actually really lucky?” Komaeda asked, observing Hinata from the corner of his eyes with a wide, closed smile.

Hajime frowned, feeling wary of the other's question. “I don’t know… I don’t think I’m particularly lucky, not like you anyway. Why?”

The other chuckled, feet skipping through the snow happily. “Well, I was just thinking a little, and it’s a miracle you’re not dead yet, y’know.”

Hinata’s eyes widened at those words, goosebumps running along his arms and back as he eyed the pale boy next to him.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you are still here in the land of the living where you can still spread Hope, but I’m just surprised is all.” Komaeda rambled, focusing his attention back on the road. Was it just Hinata, or was it getting colder?  
“You survived meeting Koizumi and Soda, something most people don’t get the privilege to say. I heard from Soda-kun you survived an attack from the Monokuma bot I was also running away from earlier and then today, you wandered around town dazed and lost in your own thoughts. You could’ve easily gotten shot by a Psychotic or you could’ve met another Ultimate Despair who isn’t as friendly as Koizumi-san is. I just wonder, do you have any self-preservation?”

That last question irked Hinata’s nerves and he rounded on the other boy ready to tell him off- only to be met with a knowing and sly smirk.

Hajime ground his teeth.

The boy was trying to get a rise out of him.  
Why? No idea, but he could tell from Komaeda’s smug-looking face he was playing him like a fiddle. Plus, getting angry over such a flimsy insult wasn’t like him, he thinks before he speaks. He didn’t get provoked, or at least, not that easily.

He breathed in the cold winter air, feeling it sting his lungs, before exhaling and looking in front of him again.

“I do. It’s just like you and Koizumi have been saying. I’m a little out of it and I need rest, so show me the way to your magical strawberry plant and then I can go home to do just that.” He said in a monotone voice. He wasn’t going to give Komaeda the satisfaction of hearing the irritation he was trying so hard to suppress. 

Komaeda let out a long ‘hmm’ before sighing and laughing, breath leaving him in puffs of air. “Ah~ so cool, being able to keep yourself composed like that! You really still abide by the social rules of old-society, don’t you? So normal and yet, still so different; you’re getting more interesting by the day, Hinata-kun!”

Hajime pursed his lips at the unsettling comment, ignoring the sudden coldness running through him; he felt like every move he did or every word he said was put under a microscope. Why did Komaeda care about such trivial things? It felt like he wanted to know what made Hinata tick. What kind of pressure made him crack and break.  
Hinata didn’t understand how this would get Komaeda to understand what kind of “Luck” he was, though really, the boy did seem to have a few screws loose.

_Maybe he's planning something else._

Hinata frowned, irritated by the sudden thought popping up in his head. Thinking like that would only serve to make him even more paranoid; it wouldn’t do him any good...

Still, he knew the other was perceptive, his eyes seemingly able to look right through him at times. Hajime felt like Komaeda could figure out his secret in a heartbeat if he wasn’t careful. His eyes unwillingly moved to glance at the boy in question, curious why the other had suddenly stopped talking. He froze mid-step.

Komaeda was looking at him with his full attention, hand covering the wide smile taking over his face, eyes hooded and gleaming as they gazed at him. Observed him. _Studied_ him. 

Their colors swirling around into something unrecognizable.

“You should see your own face, trying to figure me out like that. You almost look like a detective puzzling together the last final pieces. Hey, is that your Talent? Are you good at figuring out mysteries? Finding evidence and connecting the dots?”

Hinata frowned, stepping back as Komaeda became more and more enthusiastic, stepping into his space like last time.

They really needed to talk about personal space soon if this is going to continue.

“No… That’s not it…” Hajime muttered under his breath.  
He’d been fooling Komaeda for a few days now, but he was playing a dangerous game, one he shouldn’t have started. With Komaeda’s Talent, it was only a matter of time before he’d figure out the truth and to be honest, seeing the boy guess for a Talent that didn’t even exist didn’t make Hinata feel too good either.

“Anyway, why do you look so beat up? Your clothes are filthy and ripped. What did you do, fight a bear?” Hinata asked in a desperate attempt to divert the topic, the guilt making him feel uncomfortable.

The other blinked owlishly at the sudden change of topic but eventually seemed to just go with it. “Yes, I have. Didn’t I tell you earlier? I was chased by a Monokuma bot, right?”

“But still, if you got this tattered it must’ve gotten pretty close…”

Hinata eyed the torn sweater again, pursing his lips as the other just shrugged and waved him off with a laugh. “You don’t have to be concerned. It’s just some bruises and scrapes.”

Hajime sputtered as he stumbled over his own feet. “Pfuh, I- wha- I’m _not_ concerned! I was just thinking about the fact that it might still be around here somewhere. What if it’s camping at the bush? Now that we’re on the topic anyway, how long till we get there? I’m getting tired.” He knew he sounded like a brat but he didn’t care, trying to look everywhere but the other’s face in an attempt to hide the blush spreading on his own.

“It’s only thirty minutes from here! You see, we need to turn left and then-“ A gunshot rang through the clearing, making Hinata flinch as it flew right past him.

And right into Komaeda’s chest.

_What just…_

Hinata felt like he couldn’t breathe.

The sound of a bullet being fired still echoed through the air and it didn’t take long before a soft ‘thump’ followed it.

Komaeda was lying on the ground, his expression emotionless though slightly pained, brows furrowed lightly. His hands laid loosely on his chest as if he’d had the mind to investigate the damage brought upon himself before he inevitably passed out.

Hinata couldn’t explain the imminent feeling of terror going through his being as he gazed down upon the unconscious boy.

“Komaeda!” Before Hajime knew what he was doing he was cradling the boy in his arms, trying to shake him awake. “Komaeda wake up!”

Shrill laughter could be heard echoing throughout the street, making Hinata turn around in dread. A man was slowly walking towards them, looking as if he was just taking a stroll through the park- while swinging his shotgun in the air. His dark hair was messy and his wide eyes were entirely focused on his prey, the familiar, insane glint in them making Hinata sick to his stomach. A Psychotic.

“Why, my oh my, I do am curious! What are you gonna do, boy? Leave your friend to die and run? Or fight and die together?” The man yelled, showing Hinata his rotting, brown teeth as he grinned. “Or maybe I’ll just shoot you before you can decide.”

Hajime sneered as the man pointed his gun at him again, quickly pulling the unconscious boy into his arms and rolling them both over on the ground.

He only _just_ missed the bullet through his head, feeling the air close to his ear move as the snow next to him sprung up.

_Shit, way too fucking close!_

“That’s it, show me some spirit!” The man laughed, reaching for another bullet to reload his shotgun with. Hinata didn’t think as he slung Komaeda over his shoulder and began running towards the buildings.

Why is that every time he doesn’t bring his gun with him, someone tries to shoot him?! No, never mind that question, he should just bring it with him every day, goddammit! And what in the hell was he doing? Hajime was exhausted already and having to carry Komaeda around wouldn’t help him with that at all. It would just diminish his chances of survival even more!

...Even so… he couldn’t bring himself to drop the other boy.

They were in between the tall skyscrapers of the center and the grand mansions of the north, surrounded by the same kind of apartment blocks Hinata lived in himself. However, he wasn’t sure if he could shake off the maniac on their trail just by hiding in one of them. He also wasn’t sure if he would be able to make it to the center, where he actually knew the way and the good hiding spots.

He risked a glance backward and looked right into the crazed eyes of the Psychotic who was running towards them, shotgun aimed right at him.

Panic was the only thing that made him move as he threw himself inside the ally, rubble flying into his eyes as the bullet lodged itself into the wall next to him.

_Shit. Shit shit shit! What am I supposed to do?!_

“Ah, I do so enjoy it when they run!” The Psychotic’s voice rang throughout the street, his deranged laugh making shivers run up Hajime's spine as he turned another corner, noticing that the buildings around him were becoming more rundown; roofs were missing, the walls were charred a pitch black and more rotting bodies littered the streets.

Oh, no. **Fuck**.

Hinata was entering the eastern part of the city; how hadn’t he noticed they were so close to the ruins? How had he made that big of a miscalculation of where they were that he… Ah. But why of course, he’d zoned out again. Yeah, he remembered, Komaeda had even addressed him on it.

Fuck, goddammit, shit, the further he’d go, the less hiding places there would be and he can’t turn back or- BANG

The sound of another shot rang through the alley and Hinata dazedly blinked as he suddenly found himself in the cold snow.

“What just- what…” He mumbled, looking around and seeing the snow painted red.

Hajime quickly searched for Komaeda, who was lying a few feet away from him, having rolled a little further. He was unhurt and seemed blissfully unaware of what was going on around him.

Still not fully comprehending what exactly had happened, he tried to stand up, only to ground his teeth as a sharp pain suddenly went through his upper arm. Instinctively, he covered the pained spot, only to feel a warm wetness coat his hand. He quickly pulled away to investigate.

It came back a bright crimson.

_Ah, I got hit._

Along with the realization came the pain, and Hinata winced as his arm throbbed, blood further coating his fingers as he tried to stop the bleeding.

“Seems like I won.”

Looking over his shoulder, he saw the man standing behind him with that same, irritating smile on his face.

“F-Fuck off!” he screamed in his last attempt to… to what? Scare the man away? Ha!

_I’m dead. I’m actually dead this time._

He crawled away from the Psychotic, using his one functional arm to drag his body forwards, leaving a trail of crimson behind him as his legs seemed unable to work properly.

He didn’t get too far before his body gave out on him, his breathing short and mind foggy. He was going into shock...

“Ah~ it’s a pity it’s over so soon! You see, I like a good hunt! It’s why I don’t look for food in the center! There are only druggies there- which are rather boring prey, or other Psychotics and they’re way too much trouble to hunt. Here in the east and north, however, the prey is usually a little more sober and… less psychotic.” The man giggled at his own pun before he came to stand in front of Hinata, his boots filling the poor boy’s vision. “You gave me a good hunt, though, gotta give you that.”

Darkness was swirling his vision, his body felt like lead and he could feel hot, burning tears falling down his cheeks as he realized he was completely hopeless.

Useless.

He hadn’t even been able to save Komaeda.   
  
...Or himself for that matter.

His tears didn't stop as he heard the sound of a gun reloading.

“Well anyway, see ya in hell, kid.”

He passed out before he could hear the bullet pierce his skull.

\---

It’s cold.

He was sitting with his back towards the light, his eyes focusing on the vast darkness before him. It almost looked like the shadows were reaching for him, more eager than usual to grab him and pull him into their depths. He quickly shimmied backward, not wanting to find out what would happen if the tendrils got to him and let out a yelp as his back hit a wall.

The wall where the light was coming from.

Hesitantly, Hinata turned his upper body around, narrowing his eyes as the light blinded him.

A person sat on the ground behind him, curled up into a ball with their back towards the glass.  
Even though Hinata was sitting right next to them, he could only see a vague silhouette of the person as the light obscured his vision.

“Hello?” Hinata cringed as his voice echoed throughout the void, scared it might alarm the monsters lurking in its shadows. When he didn’t hear anything he tried again. “Hey, are you okay? Do you need help?”

A warm breath on his ear.

** “Hinata.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the AMV i have for you today is the most super-duper cutest AMV Of Komahina. It’s so goshdarn adorable! (*≧▽≦)
> 
> Name: Hinata x Komaeda - Headlock  
From: Cta Nagito  

> 
> Leave a kudos or a comment if you liked the story! They’re my writing fuel! ⭐️


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, it's a rather long chapter filled with a lot of dialogue but I seriously had so much fun with this!! I hope you will all enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed writing it! ＼(*T▽T*)／
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Hinata awoke by something jostling him, making him blink open his tired eyes.

He could see buildings pass him by as he walked through the snow, a freezing wind biting his cheeks as if trying to wake up his dazed and sleepy mind.

He couldn’t really feel his legs making the steps, though.

To be honest, he didn’t really feel a lot of anything, a strange numbness spreading throughout his entire body. Only his arm had some feeling in it left, but even that was steadily fading.

Where was he going?

“Hinata! Don’t fall asleep again, okay? Just stay awake for a little longer!”

Hajime frowned as he looked at the origin of the voice, only to get a face full of white hair.

Ah~ now he got it; he wasn’t walking at all, Komaeda was carrying him.  
Hinata wouldn’t have thought that someone as frail-looking as Komaeda could give him a piggy-back ride at all; that’s quite a feat!

…Where was he taking him, though?

“Wheh- wherr a we goin’?” he mumbled into the other’s shoulder, hearing the other pant as he tightened his grip on him. “I-I told you that before, don’t you remember?”

At the lack of a reply, Komaeda pursed his lips and quickened his steps.

“Someplace where we can get out of the cold and patch up your wound. We’re almost there so just don’t-“

Everything went dark.

\---

_He was burning. Boiling. There wasn’t enough air. His limbs didn’t move. Darkness seemed to swallow him up whole and he couldn’t move, he-_

Hinata woke up gasping for breath, immediately cringing at the sharp pain in his arm and the pain that went through his head as he tried to open his eyes.

“W-Where am I. What happened?” he asked, his voice sounding raw and vulnerable.

Panic was the only thing that made him move as he tried to sit up and search his surroundings, only for a hand to come up over his eyes and push him down again “I don’t think that’s a good idea yet. You’ve taken quite the beating and your body is exhausted. You have a fever.” A smooth voice called out and Hajime groaned, trying to pull away the hand over his face.

Last he remembered, he’d been laying in the freezing cold, a gun aimed at his face by a bloodthirsty, cannibalistic maniac and now… now his head was being cushioned by something soft, warmth engulfing his body like a hot inferno.  
“And to answer your questions, I have no idea. I recall being shot and then the next thing I know I’m laying near the ruins of the east, you hurt and unconscious with a mangled corpse beside you. If anyone knows what happened, I thought it would be you.” Komaeda said, his voice sounding as calm as a cucumber.

Hinata felt his anger flare up and, annoyed that he couldn’t see the other’s face as they were talking, finally pushed away the hand holding him down, sitting up again.

Only to notice that the arm that was vaguely throbbing was held still by something.

Looking down, he noticed that his arm was in a sling, probably to make sure he didn’t put too much pressure on the injury. Now that he concentrated, he could feel something wound tightly around his arm, pulling if he tried to move too much. Bandages?

He shook his head, trying to concentrate and redirect his scattered thoughts back to the matter at hand- Right, he was mad. 

“Why do you say all that like it’s the most normal thing?” Hajime sneered, turning around to look Komaeda in the eye only to be met with that calming yet unnerving smile. “I thought I was going to die. I thought you were going to die!” Hajime moved to sit up from the bed in order to get his bearings -and away from Komaeda- though next thing he knew, he was laying down again feeling dizzy and disoriented, vision blurry.

“I gave you medicine, disinfected your wound and bandaged you up.” Komaeda exclaimed, ignoring Hinata’s distressed state. “You should be better in a few days so long as you rest and let your body recover.”

Hajime blinked slowly.

_He... took care of me? But why...?_

Hinata furrowed his brows as the questions and doubt filled his head- only to forget them as he noticed himself lying in komaeda’s lap.

He must’ve accidentally fallen there after his short blackout.

Feeling himself grow red, he quickly shuffled to the other end of the bed as fast as he could, trying to play off his embarrassment by smiling and waving his hand - as if wishing to slap the embarrassment away from existence.

Of course, he did so with the arm that wasn’t currently in a sling.  
“I see! Well then! Thankyouverymuchforputtingupwithme! I’m awake now so your assistance is no longer required!” He rambled his polite apology as fast as he could, his hand moving at the speed of light.

Komaeda was still staring at the place Hinata had been lying, not able to process how fast Hajime had moved away. 

“It was nothing, I was happy to help.” Komaeda smiled and quickly stood up before Hajime could say anything more. “Please just lie down and rest, okay? I’m going to make some food, something light, and get you some medicine.”

“Wait!” Hinata called out, quickly grabbing the other’s arm in a tight vice. “Where are we? And don’t think I forgot your remark about that “mangled corpse” that was oh so casually lying next to me.” 

Komaeda grimaced, averting his gaze. “We’re at my house, just outside the northern end of the city. I’ll tell you the rest later.”

Hajime let the boy go, blinking dazedly at the fact he was probably hours away from home. Great. Fucking great.

Sure, he’d been hours away from home before too, but then he at least knew his way back. He’s never been outside the city during the apocalypse before either. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he ignored his weak body- which seemed to be screaming for rest- and got up, determined to look around.

He was in unknown territory while being taken care of by a person he barely knew. If he had to run, he’d like to know where to.

Komaeda may not have hurt him up till now, but that didn’t mean he won’t in the future.

_Wouldn’t that beat the purpose of him saving you in the first place? _His mind reasoned.

Hinata just inwardly shrugged. Better safe than sorry.

After noticing his bag laying on the ground next to his bed, untouched and with everything still in it, he exited the room, leaning against the wall for support. He, of course, didn’t lean on it with the arm he’d been shot at, which was slowly starting to smart and throb despite his efforts.

A long hallway with multiple doors stretched before him; the ‘house’ seemed to be quite big, mansion-like so. The walls were high, painted a brilliant white which made the space seem more open and light, though weirdly remote at the same time, cold even.  
The ground was made of a dark wood, which didn’t creak in the slightest under his weight.

The mansion was well made, clearly for people made out of money, but didn’t really seem lived in. There’s no story or smell coming from the walls, no feeling to the air other than loneliness and emptiness.

It was weirdly disturbing.

Pushing open some doors, he discovered most were empty, only furnished with a single bed; just like the room he’d woken up in.

The house felt so unreal and ghost-like, Hajime wouldn’t think it’d belong to Komaeda if he hadn’t stumbled upon the other’s bedroom.

He was still heavily leaning against the wall for support, even more so than before, and he was beginning to feel the strain his actions were having on his body.

He had to investigate, though.

Who knows, Komaeda could harbor some life-threatening secret, like, kidnapping people only to slice and dice them into pieces or something…

_And he does that here? In the same place he sleeps in?_

Yes.

He staggered inside, looking around.

The bed was bigger than the other ones he’d stumbled upon, the bedsheets looking softer and the fluffy pillows even fluffier.

However, it didn’t look like the bed was slept in much. It looked just as empty and untouched as the rest of the house.

The walls were painted a soft blue, a dark brown dresser standing in the corner and a desk in the other one. There were no posters on the wall or any trinkets on his desk. Just a photo of him and his family from when he was younger, hugging each other and looking happily into the camera.

He looked a lot saner and happy there- Cute, even.

Hinata’s attention was snatched however by something shining in his peripheral- glass, covering the ground next to the desk. Frowning he side-stepped it to find a broken, framed photo lying on the ground.

Looking up from where it laid, he saw an indentation in the wall.  
Had it been thrown from the other side of the room? Why?

He looked closer at the photo, trying not to step into the glass shards with his feet, and reached out his -functional- hand. From what he could see at that distance, it looked vaguely like a classroom picture-

“Hinata.”

He froze, hand still outstretched and in squatting position. 

It was as if ice laced his voice, making Hajime shiver in fear and dread. 

“I- Yes?” He asked almost sweetly, turning around slightly to estimate how fucked he was.

Komaeda’s smile was still plastered onto his face, but it was clearly strained, his eyes not smiling with him. Instead, a mishmash of emotions were swirling in their depth, like a raging storm on the other side of a glass window.

Not good.

“My, Hinata-kun, you really shouldn’t be up like this! I know you’ve got quite the curious mind but I did not think you’d go to these lengths to sate your curiosity.” He exclaimed, canting his head and smiling wider, feigned enthusiasm evident in his voice.

It almost looked like his face was cracking. Like a porcelain cup falling to the ground.

He did _not_ want to see behind those cracks.

“I-I’m sorry, I only meant to-“ What? What was he supposed to say? “Sorry, I thought maybe you locked innocent children in your room or tortured innocent souls in here! But I didn’t find anything so that must mean you’re A-Okay!”

He couldn’t say anything that could make up for invading Komaeda’s privacy like this. Not even the fact that Komaeda followed him all over town- It’s creepy and an insane thing to do, but somehow, rummaging through the other’s personal stuff like Hajime had done just felt worse.

“No, I get it. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not mad but I also get where you’re coming from. Kindness is a rarity in this world and you shouldn’t trust anyone, not even me.” Komaeda said leaning against the doorframe with his arm crossed.

Hinata decided to stand up and get away from the photo, which seemed to visibly relax the other a bit.

“If I shouldn’t trust you then- do you have any underlying reason as to why you saved me?” he asked, feeling goosebumps rise on his arms.

The other looked up from beneath his lashes, smile turning sinister. “Yes, I do. However- I don’t think I’m going to tell you.”

This had Hinata take a few steps back. He still hadn’t found the stairs to the first floor, or the front door for that matter and Komaeda was standing in the doorway. He was locked in.

Komaeda shook his head, chuckling quietly at his antics. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you. Not now, or in the future.”

Hajime sneered. “And why should I believe that?”

“Because I always keep my promises.” Komaeda retorted with a smug smile. 

They stood in silence, seizing each other up. Komaeda with that typical, annoying smile of his and Hinata with a deep frown on his face.

That didn’t last too long, however, as his legs decided to give out on him.

“Hinata?!”

He hadn’t noticed it earlier but he was panting, chest heaving in deep gulps of air as his limbs trembled and shook. His eyelids felt heavy as Komaeda lifted him up, slinging his arm over his shoulder. Hinata blinked owlishly, surprised at the boy’s strength. However, he frowned as he suddenly noticed his outfit. It was entirely different to what he’d been wearing before: a long-sleeved shirt and pants made out of a light, green silk and fluffy white socks which warmly hugged his feet.

“Did- Did you _undress_ me?” he asked lowly, trying to convey his anger through but sounding more like a pathetic drunk with the way he was slurring his words.  
“Your clothes were soaked in blood, so yes, I did.” Komaeda answered calmly as they entered his room. “Now, _please_, stay in bed. You’d do us both a favor.”

Hajime glared at the other boy as he sat him down on the bed, his back leaning against the headboard. He was about to retort with a snarky remark before the smell of something disgusting stopped him. Looking off to the side he took in the toast and the nicely cut slices of apple on the nightstand. The apple looked okay, but his stomach churned as the crispy smell of toast reached his nose.

Komaeda saw his fixed look and chuckled, the last traces of anger officially disappearing. “You don’t need to eat everything, just some. After you’ve eaten you can take your medicine.”

“I’m really not that hungry…” Is it even time for dinner? How late is it… 

He looked at his watch which_, thank fucking God_, was still attached to his wrist and covering his Soulmark.  
It was fifteen past two, and looking out the window at how dark it was, that probably meant midnight and not afternoon.

Hajime had lost consciousness about five p.m. when the sky had slowly started to darken, so that means… He’s been out for almost seven hours?!

“At least eat the apple, you need your strength.” Komaeda tried, a slight furrow appearing between his brows at Hajime’s silence.

Hinata looked at the plate once again.

It might be poisoned...

_Again, that would defeat the purpose of saving you. Twice, now. He promised he wouldn’t hurt you._

He sighed and took the plate, still wary as the other stood next to him. He hadn’t forgotten the other’s words earlier. “Thanks, I guess.”

Smiling, Komaeda took a seat at the end of the bed next to him. “You’re welcome.”

“...Are you really going to watch me eat?” He questioned, weirded out at the fact that he wasn’t.

“Yes.”

“Okie Dokie then.”

Hinata ignored Komaeda’s intense stare and began eating, too tired to really think too much about it. The apple was sour; probably a green apple, though he couldn’t be sure since the peel had been removed. He liked the sour ones more, anyway.

An idea came to mind as he chewed- if Komaeda wasn’t going to leave, then maybe Hinata could use this time to ask some questions.

“About the wound… Was it bad?” 

Komaeda hummed, looking up in thought. “Yes and no. There was an exit wound, which is good, and the wound in general didn’t seem too big. You did lose a lot of blood because of it, though, and that together with the cold probably gave you this fever, since it’s not infected. It’ll heal with enough rest.”

Sighing, Hinata felt himself relax against the headboard, stress which he hadn’t even known was there disappearing from his body. “Okay, yeah, that’s good to hear.” 

He took a deep breath. “Now, on to more important matters. First off, how in the hell did you not die out there? I saw you get shot! Yet here you are, without a scratch.”  
Hinata eyed the other’s form, his eyes landing on a dark blue bruise on his jaw. It probably came from when he’d smacked face-first against the ground after Hinata had dropped him- on accident, might he add. “Or at least, not that many…”

The other shrugged, scratching the back of his head. “I guess you could say I was lucky.”

Hajime’s eye twitched at Komaeda’s cryptic answer; now was not the fucking time to be a mysterious asshole. “Then please, do indulge me.”

Komaeda chuckled, grabbing something from the nightstand along with a glass of water. “Take these pills and I’ll tell you.”

Hajime eyed the pills suspiciously; there were three, all in different sizes and colors. “What’s it for?”

“Medicine, for your fever, your injuries and to prevent infection.” Komaeda answered easily, raising a brow as Hajime looked up at him. “Why do you ask? Do you seriously think I would drug you?”

Hinata huffed, taking the pills from Komaeda’s hand and popping them in his mouth, spooling them down with the water. As soon as he swallowed he put the glass down. “Now answer my question.”

Komaeda sighed, as if he was answering the pestering questions of an annoying child. “Well, if you must know, the bullet was stopped by my student handbook. I always carry it with me for... sentimental reasons and today, that seems to have paid off.”

He can’t be serious. He must be joking. How would that even- Why would you carry- Hajime could only gape in shock. This guy’s _student handbook_ made him dodge a bullet?! What was it made out of? Steel?!

“I can’t- that’s impossible!” he uttered in pure disbelief, looking up as the other just shrugged. “Not impossible, just very unrealistic.”

He swore, if this guy dissed his Talent one more time in the future, Hinata’s going to bitch slap him so hard he won’t remember that he had the Talent to begin with.

“Right, uhg- You are… unbelievable.” He muttered, shaking his head.

“Guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” Komaeda smiled as Hajime sputtered. “It wasn’t!”

Finishing his apple, Hajime put his plate back on the nightstand with a little more force than necessary and turned towards the boy with a determined look in his eye. “So, about that… guy-“

“We can discuss that tomorrow. Right now, I need to replace those bandages and wash your wounds again. I’ll be right back.” Komaeda said as he quickly left the room.

Hinata narrowed his eyes as he watched the boy leave.

He didn’t understand why Komaeda was doing this. They’d met a total of three times including today and though Komaeda did seem to have a weird infatuation with him, that didn’t explain his kindness.

Hinata was in no position to give him anything of use or be of any use.

He couldn’t understand Komaeda’s thought process no matter how hard he tried.  
However, Hajime couldn’t explain why he’d decided to save Komaeda either. He most likely could’ve gotten out unhurt and unscathed, if only he’d let Komaeda behind. He could’ve made it to the center if he’d tried hard enough and could’ve hidden in one of the buildings but he didn’t… And he doesn’t know why. 

It unnerved him, to be honest. If there was one thing in life that had always been predictable, one thing he’d always been able to control then it was his own actions. He always knew why he did things and always went for the easier and more practical route, but he doesn’t seem to do that when it comes to Komaeda.

Hinata was the one to start a conversation with him when they first met.

Hinata was the one who started that dangerous guessing game.

Hinata was the one who didn’t tell Komaeda to fuck off, instead tolerating his presence as if he was nothing more than an annoying friend.

While Komaeda indeed was the one to keep pestering him, Hinata was the one who started things and didn’t put a stop to it.

He was startled awake by a sudden coldness on his upper arm. “Ah, sorry I woke you. Do I have cold fingers?” the calm voice of Komaeda permeated his ears and he grunted, too tired to think of any words.

Hajime blearily tried to open his eyes, vision hazy as he saw Komaeda apply something onto his arm. “I just finished washing your arm again. I once read that instead of using alcohol or hydrogen peroxide, you should just wash your wounds with water two times a day. It disinfects just as well and doesn’t cause any slowing of the healing. You can also apply Vaseline if you have any, which I’m doing right now.”

Hinata couldn’t follow Komaeda’s rambling, brows furrowed as he looked at the boy’s hands. They were pale and thin, cold as they applied the sticky vaseline to his skin.

“You’re warm.” Komaeda muttered under his breath and for the first time, Hajime saw the other frown… though he could be mistaken, seeing as he could barely hold his eyes open. Why was that? He was so damn tired... almost unnaturally so. He felt like sleep would catch up with him any second now.

Komaeda’s hands grabbed his arm as he began to wound it up tightly in bandages.  
“Hey, Hinata-kun, did you know that Soulmates are supposed to be complementary to each other?” He asked, not averting his eyes from Hinata’s arm.  
At Hajime’s lack of answer, he smiled. 

“They’re often polar opposites while still being exactly perfect for each other, making up for any flaws the other might have.” The boy’s voice was soft, just as soft as his fingers carefully moving up Hinata’s arm, their touch as light as a feather.

“This is also evident in Talents.” Komaeda continued, smiling as he pushed aside the silk shirt and touched the warm crook of the other’s neck. “If one of the two Soulmates’ Talent is destructive then their Soulmate will often take part of the brunt.” His fingers trailed along Hinata’s collarbone, enjoying the feel of the bone so close under the skin. So vulnerable. “Sometimes the less dangerous Talent is shared between the two Soulmates, nullifying the other or making it more balanced.” He dug his nails into the skin above Hinata’s heart. “Sometimes the dangerous Talent is shared, dividing its power into two.”

Komaeda stopped himself before he could draw any blood, letting out a shuddering breath as he traced his fingers back up towards the other’s neck, feeling Hinata’s slow heartbeat.

“If the latter is the case, with my Talent.” he muttered, leaning forward as he buried his nose into soft, brown hair.

“Then my Soulmate must be truly Unlucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omgg so many of you were talking about how lucky Hinata was throughout the story and I’m just so happy now that you all know as to why that is!! 
> 
> So, this is a very /very/ underrated Komahina AMV I've been listening to for hours now. I just love the song, and the way it is edited is so romantic! Enjoy! ^^
> 
> Name: KomaHina | Make Me Feel Something [instagram edit]  
From: jaimee.edits
> 
> Happy holidays!! (^▽^*)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is inappropriate and doesn’t have anything to do with the story right now, but Izuru could step on me like he stepped on Junko and I would fucking thank him…  
But like, Seriously, Izuru, Please step on m- 
> 
> Anwywayyy! Enjoy the new chapter!
> 
> \--sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

“I want to leave.”

Komaeda froze midway as he picked up the empty plate from the nightstand, looking up with wide eyes at the sickly boy still lying in bed.  
Hinata crossed his arms- as well as he could with that annoying sling around his arm- and pursed his lips. “I know I’m not entirely healed yet and that I still have a slight fever, but I’ve been here for almost two days now. I can walk again, so I do believe it’s time for me to go home.”

His tone booked no argument but still, Komaeda frowned. “You’ve been here for two days and you’ve spent the entirety of it sleeping and unconscious, you’re not nearly healed enough to face the freezing cold outside.” he countered, standing upright again and averting his gaze as Hinata’s fierce eyes watched him. “That’s because you drugged me! You drugged me and lied to me!”

Komaeda shook his head, slightly smiling to himself as he responded. “I didn’t lie, I asked if you really thought I’d do it; I never said I wouldn’t. Plus, I couldn’t risk you snooping around again, only to faint somewhere where I wouldn’t be able to find you.

You evidently needed your rest too, seeing as you slept for an entire day.”

Hinata sneered, pushing the bedsheets off him and standing up. “Thank you very much for the help and for saving me, but I can handle it from here. I’m leaving.” 

Komaeda’s hand clasped around his, stopping him before he could get too far. “You don’t know the way. And dressed like that you’ll freeze to death before you even reach the city. Just… Wait. I’ll go get your clothes and show you the way.”

“I can get a map.” Hinata tried but looking at the other’s expression, he knew this wasn’t something he would be able to negotiate about.

“Hinata-kun~” Komaeda smiled- or should he say “tried” to smile, for it looked more like a wicked show of teeth than anything else. “I can go with you, show you where to go and make sure you don’t succumb to your fever along the way, or- I can keep you here.”

Hinata could feel his heartbeat rise. _Had Komaeda always been this forceful?_ “You wouldn’t.”

“Well, I’m not going to let you die out there just because you’re being stubborn. So, what will it be?” He canted his head, terrifying grin not moving an inch.

Hajime closed his eyes in defeat. “Fine, you can come.”

And just like that Komaeda’s demeanor did a one-eighty, the boy’s smile returning to normal as he happily clapped his hands. “Great! I’ll go get your stuff.”

Sitting back down on the bed, he watched the white-haired boy leave the room with a smug look on his face.

Hajime knew that after the incident, something had changed.

Something had changed Komaeda’s attitude towards him; it started as soon as he’d woken up from the attack, the white-haired boy had been much more... protective, in a way, though Hinata felt that was quite the reach.  
But still, Komaeda would always watch him with this weird glint in his eyes, making sure he didn't move too much and ate everything on his plate. 

It put Hinata on edge like nothing else.

As Komaeda walked back in, Hajime thought to himself that the boy already seemed to know so much about him; he knew what made Hajime tick or motivated, annoyed or embarrassed.

Of course he did, Komaeda may be observing him closer now- less subtle, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been watching him intensely before that.

This put Hinata at a disadvantage.

He barely knew anything about Komaeda except for the fact that he seemed to have an aversion towards his own Talent -and himself- and that he was infatuated with the concept of Hope and Despair.

He needed to find out the reason for Komaeda’s change in demeanor towards him or he might never figure him out.  
  


Hinata grit back a started yelp at the sudden face in front of his, quickly moving back to create some space between the two of them. “We really need to have a talk about personal space someday.” He muttered under his breath.

“I’m sorry but you weren’t answering me when I called your name.” Komaeda explained as he took a step back, stretching out his arms and presenting Hinata with his clothing. “I washed it. Your jacket and shirt, however… weren’t really salvable anymore. You can have mine.”

Narrowing his eyes, he scoffed. “No, thanks. I don’t need any more favors from you, Komaeda. Just give me my clothes and then we-“

“I burnt them.”

Hajime sputtered, choking on air as he did a doubletake at the boy before him. “Y-you what?”

“They were filthy and torn, I didn’t see any use for them except as fuel for the fireplace downstairs.” Komaeda answered, shrugging as he put down the clothes next to him on the bed. “It isn’t the warmest jacket but it’s a whole lot better than walking around in those thin pajamas, at least…”

Hajime sighed, studying the clothes as Komaeda left the room once more. There was a white shirt much like the one he’d lost on top of the pile along with his green tie which, thankfully, didn’t have any dried bloodstains on them. The jacket was pretty simple, black and made out of a thin but durable fabric; it was vaguely familiar.

_Wasn’t this the jacket Komaeda always used to wear? _

Finding a small bullet-shaped hole in the breast pocket Hajime determined that, yes, this was indeed the infamous black jacket.

He still didn’t understand how much luck Komaeda possessed to survive a shot like that… It really annoyed Hinata that the boy didn’t appreciate it one bit, still as negative about his Talent as always.

Pulling the fabric up to his face, he took a small whiff.  
It smelled like lavender and something oddly sweet, though with a strong ashy undertone, as if Komaeda spend a lot of his time in burned down buildings or the like.

It smelled kinda good though.

Hinata froze after he took another deep breath, not even knowing when he’d closed his eyes. What was he doing?

What _the fuck_ was he doing?

Pushing the fabric away from him with a rather disgusted look on his face, he stood up and shook his head.

He thought of just not putting on the jacket at all but decided against it. He’d rather not freeze to death, thank you very much.

Finally done he stepped out of the room with his bag slung over his shoulder, only to almost run right into the white-haired boy.

Had he been waiting right on the other side of the door for him? 

Komaeda smiled as he gave him an appraising look, his eyes seeming to linger on the black jacket. “Finally done, I see? Let’s get going then. Unless you changed your mind?” Komaeda asked, and if Hinata detected any hint of worry in his eyes or hope in his voice he resolutely ignored it. He needed to get back home, dammit. “I’m fine, let’s go.”

Hearing the other let out a put off sigh, they made their way to the first floor. Hinata noticed that he’d entirely gone the wrong way last time, finding the stairs to be much closer than he’d originally expected.

It was a rather big stairway made out of white, marble tiles and what seemed to be a golden railing. _Just how rich was Komaeda?_  
The stairs led to a grand hall decorated with expensive-looking furniture and a now dusty chandelier; it was all just as white and empty as the rest of the house.  
There were glass doors leading to other rooms but the only one Hinata had attention for was the mahogany one right in front of him. The front door.

Komaeda stood before it, hand resting on the doorknob as he turned back to look at him.

Hinata hadn’t noticed it until now, but the boy’s attire seemed to have changed.  
The boy had on a strange, green jacket which was rather long and ended with a weird tailcoat; one shoulder was colored with red, distorted-like blocks.  
Underneath, Komaeda was wearing a white shirt with a red symbol on it which Hinata couldn’t make sense of even if he tried.

Either way, it suited him -even though he was still wearing that annoying chain around his neck.

“Prepare yourself, the cold hasn’t gotten any better.” Komaeda muttered as he opened the doors. A harsh blast of cool air made Hinata step back a little, shivering as it seemed to go right through him, his eyes watering to battle the cold.

Fuck, Komaeda hadn’t been lying when he said that.

“Ready to go back inside?” Komaeda asked once more. Hajime stared at the boy, catching the smugness in his eyes as he noticed Hinata’s reluctance to make the first move.  
He huffed. “Ready to go home.”

He walked past Komaeda, setting foot in the thick snow now covering almost everything in sight. Komaeda quickly followed, making sure Hinata couldn’t see his exasperated grimace as he closed the doors behind them.

Hajime didn’t recognize this area, the houses here looked a lot like the mansions of the north but that was about the only thing that was familiar to him.   
Komaeda noticed his distressed look and put on a reassuring smile. “We aren’t too far from where we were before; it’ll take a while to get you home but we’ll be back in the city in no time.”

Hajime sighed, puffs of air surrounding his face as he nodded. “Great, let’s get going then!” he said with false bravado, stepping forwards.  
In reality, however, he could already feel his limbs trembling from the cold and the fever which was still running its course through his body. He didn’t want to admit it and he would never say it out loud, but he was glad Komaeda was accompanying him.

Hajime turned around when a hand grabbed his arm, watching as a smiling Komaeda pointed in the other direction. “It’s that way.”

Blinking owlishly, he looked behind them to the other end of the road. “I knew that.”

“Not saying you didn’t.” Komaeda exclaimed as he put up his hands in surrender at Hinata’s glare.

Huffing, Hinata went the other way, Komaeda falling into step beside him.  
The silence between them wasn’t awkward per se, but it wasn’t pleasant either and it didn’t take long before Hinata decided to break it. “Will you finally explain what you saw? You promised you’d tell me.”

Komaeda grimaced, he did remember saying that. “Well, as I said before I don’t know much more than you do. I just remember being shot and then waking up with you unconscious next to me, blood staining the snow.”

Komaeda looked up at the crimson sky, snowflakes falling onto his cheeks and lashes. Hajime felt his fingers twitch at the sight, once more thinking that the boy next to him looked so frail, almost just as much as the snow swirling around them.

As if he could disappear with a single touch.

He thought Komaeda was done talking when he suddenly diverted his pensive eyes towards him. “I remember… being scared; I don’t think I’ve ever been that terrified in my life.” He whispered softly.

Hajime cleared his throat, studying his feet as he let out an awkward laugh. “Yeah, I’d be terrified too. Seeing all that blood first thing you woke up must’ve been pretty gruesome, huh?”

Something in the other’s gaze hardened.

“It was.” Komaeda continued, not taking his eyes off of him. “I remember checking up on you, noticing your hypothermia and slowed heartbeat. As soon as I confirmed you still being alive I noticed the body next to you. That’s where most of the blood had come from, I think.” Komaeda noticed the way Hinata had paled and looked back in front of him.

“The man’s hand had been cut off and he sported multiple stab wounds. His face had a big ‘X’ on it and his eyes seemed to have been torn out.” Komaeda continued, watching the shorter boy getting more and more anxious from the corner of his eye.

Hajime felt his heart race and stop at those words. Who could’ve done such a thing? Why did they not kill him or Komaeda for that matter? They’d been defenseless- easy prey. Was it because he was a ‘hunter’, like the one they’d been running from? 

“Another thing” Komaeda smiled, interrupting Hajime’s thought process. “The wall next to us had this weird symbol on it: a circle with a stripe through the middle, all written in blood which was, now that I think about it, probably from the dead body.”

Hinata could feel himself pale even more.

A mark on the wall? For what?

He tried to visualize the symbol, wanting to make sense of it and frowned- it kinda looked like an eye?

Hinata remembered the eyes he had drawn on a wall to remember where he needed to go and considered that maybe they did it for the same reason- but he quickly pushed that thought aside. They’d have used graffiti if it was just for that, not the blood of their enemies…

Ah, Maybe… Maybe they want to scare away their enemies by setting an example? But for what? And who exactly were these ‘enemies’?

“Found anything of importance, detective Hinata?” a voice once more interrupted him and he frowned at the boy walking next to him, annoyed by the playful smirk he got in return. “I- What are you talking about?”

Komaeda snickered and put up his hands, shrugging. “Nothing, it’s just that I recognize that look, it’s the same one you had when you were trying to make sense of me and the things I was doing. You’re trying to get to the bottom of this, even if you don’t exactly realize it.”

Hinata didn’t know how, since he’d always been a very closed off person and never really showed his emotions on his face, but Komaeda almost always read him like an open book, and it pissed him right the fuck off.  
“I’m not doing anything. Isn’t it normal to want to try and find the one who saved your life and also could’ve ended it without you even knowing?” he asked with irritation lacing his voice.

“No, it’s not. Most people would just leave it at that. Happy they’re still alive and not dead or tortured.” Komaeda countered.

Hajime just shrugged. “They’re clearly dangerous and insane, I just want to know how to avoid them.”

“Then please, do tell me what you puzzled together just now. I’d like to be able to avoid them as well.” Komaeda said with that typical, sweet smile of his.

Hinata didn’t trust him.  
There was just something in his eyes, this weird glint of something to come, the one he’s had since the accident occurred only stronger.  
A plan was forming in the other’s mind, a place Hinata couldn’t get into or understand no matter how hard he’d try.

But what if he was wrong?  
He couldn’t just let Komaeda stumble into a murderous maniac, all because he didn’t want to share what he’d come up with.

He let out a heavy sigh. “Fine, just… remember that I’m no detective. Got it? Whatever I just thought of could be completely wrong.” Hajime warned Komaeda as he sent him a sharp glare, not wanting the boy’s blood to be on his hands if he decided to take Hinata’s words to heart.

Komaeda’s smile just grew and he shrugged. “I know, but it never hurts to be careful, right?”

Hinata grunted nonsensically as he tried to organize his thoughts, thinking of what to say and how to say it. “Well, first of all, they’re territorial. That symbol you described, I’m pretty sure it’s an intimidation or scare tactic. Like a dog marking its territory just more… gruesome.”

Hajime scrunched up his nose at the amused look Komaeda shot at him, before focusing on his story again. “I’m not sure what he’s scaring other people away for, or who exactly their enemies are, but I do recommend that if you ever see that symbol again, you run away as fast as you can.” Komaeda nodded, humming in agreement.

“They aren’t against using violence or maiming”, Hajime continued ”probably even enjoy it- and they’re certainly psychopathic looking at how they killed that man. Your description of his wounds… the killer tortured them, sliced off their hand, pushed out his eyes, stabbed him and carved out his face… let him bleed out and writhe in pain just because they _wanted_ to and so they could use his blood to literally paint the walls.

“They could’ve- _should’ve_ killed us, if _only_ because they could, but they didn’t. The only reason we’re still alive is because they like the hunt. They like to see their victims writhing in pain, screaming and begging for their life as that man had probably done. They saved us because they still want to hunt us down like a wolf its prey.”

Hinata shivered at his own words and crossed eyes with Komaeda, who looked hooked on every word that spilled from his mouth. “We’re only alive because we couldn’t entertain them, Komaeda.”

  
Instead of the horror-filled look Hajime expected Komaeda to have, he was once again surprised as the boy merely hummed in contemplation before looking in front of him again.

“Why, that’s quite the feat, Hinata. You almost got it all.” Komaeda exclaimed, gloved hands happily clapping together once in satisfaction. 

“The hell do you mean?” Hinata snarked, not the least bit patient with Komaeda’s sudden cryptic comment.

Komaeda just smiled, not fazed by his irritation at all, which really only pissed Hajime off even more. “Just that you missed some things, however, I don’t doubt you’ll find out what they are soon. You do seem to be clever like that… although... you can also be pretty dense...”

That last comment garnered a disgruntled “Hey!” from Hinata but Komaeda continued without paying it too much mind.  
“I’ll give you a hint. They aren’t an Ultimate Despair, seeing as the way they killed their victim doesn’t fit any of the Despairs’ way of working. They’re also not a Psychotic since they eat their victims and they’re certainly not a druggy or a normal Despaired person. They’re much simpler than that.”

Komaeda’s sharp eyes drilled into his, slightly looking down on him, though not in a patronizing way; no, they looked too soft to be patronizing- too… fond.

“What are they?”

Hinata blinked owlishly at the other’s sudden question, not able to think of an answer. “I don’t- How should I know?” Hajime frowned as Komaeda just hummed once more.  
“You don’t need to answer me right now, I just want you to think about it.” He laughed softly and Hinata winced as Komaeda’s smile suddenly turned brighter; that didn’t look too promising. “But now, it’s time for my guess of the day!”

Hajime groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as Komaeda chuckled. “Now, now, a deal’s a deal!”  
Hinata averted his gaze once more as he felt Komaeda roam his eyes over his frame and pursed his lips. He wasn’t really nervous anymore, realizing the other boy truly thought him to be Talented, but that didn’t mean that Komaeda’s searching stare didn’t make him uncomfortable.  
Really, it was ridiculous how he could almost _physically feel_ the other’s eyes on him, a warmth spreading from the tips of his fingers up towards his shoulders, his neck, his heated face, to his chest and all the way down to his legs.

Hinata couldn’t repress the shiver going through him.

“Hm~ Why, Hinata-kun, could it be that perhaps you’ve been born with a Talent as unlucky as Luck itself?”

Choking on his own spit in surprise, Hinata coughed in the winter air, his throat aching in complaint at the sudden coldness. “W-What? Why would you ask that? I don’t think there’s anyone with a Talent quite like yo-“  
Komaeda scoffed, cutting him off. “Naegi Makoto had a Talent which resembles mine just fine; though it was indeed much less destructive...  
As to why I asked… It’s like I’ve said before: the unlucky situations you find yourself in, combined with the unlimited recklessness you show towards the world should’ve long done you in, but yet, here you are. Alive and well.” Komaeda’s smile was gone as he stepped closer, making Hinata look up slightly and his frown deepen.  
His hand balled into fists, his stubbornness not allowing him to step back.

“I’ve wondered this ever since I woke up, but why did you save me? You could’ve spared yourself the trouble and left me for dead. You wouldn’t have had that fever and your arm wouldn’t be in a sling right now.” Hinata clenched his teeth as the boy’s cold eyes stared him down. “Do you realize you nearly died? All because you were too stubborn to let me behi-“

“I wasn’t being stubborn.” He grunted, defiantly looking up into Komaeda’s piercing eyes. “Then why-“

Something _cracked_.

“Because I’m not an animal, Komaeda! Goddammit, I have morals! I have the capability to feel guilt, regret, fear and compassion! You might not exactly be the most normal person I’ve met up until now but you’re just as much of a human as I am and that has to count for something! You’re not a bad person, you’re not a monster, and I just couldn’t let you die there! I just _couldn’t_, okay?! I may feel Despair, I may be scared, but that doesn’t mean I let it control me!”

When Hinata was done ranting, he was panting harshly, air around him fogging up as he undoubtedly looked red in the face.   
“And no, my Talent isn’t Luck, though I do admit I might have long died without it.” He huffed out the last part, licking his lips and closing his eyes, finally evening out his breath. “Better luck next time, Komaeda.” 

And with that, he turned around and left the other behind.

Komaeda could only stare dazedly at where Hinata had just stood, his lips turning up into a smile.

A smile that quickly spread into a terrifying grin once more, eyes ravenous as ideas filled his thoughts into Despair. And Hope. Oh, so much Hope. Komaeda had truly found a goldmine, hadn’t he?

_Thanks for confirming my suspicions, Hinata-kun._

_All of them._

\---

Hajime felt played. Felt like Komaeda had pulled his strings with such precision he hadn’t expected from the boy.

Hinata knew Komaeda could be ingenious, a real manipulator behind the kind façade he put up but he hadn’t expected this level of cunning from him.

It was worse when he realized he still didn’t know why Komaeda had done it; he knew nothing of his motives, intentions or Komaeda in general and he didn’t know how to fix that in the slightest. The boy was just too big of an enigma.

And Hajime truly was too big of an idiot.  
He basically just stated that Despair didn’t affect him. That he could overcome it instead of letting it consume him like everyone else.

He was lucky indeed that Komaeda was unable to connect the dots, unable to realize that it was because Hajime was Talentless that he was resistant to the pressing and ruling chaos called Despair.

And there was his headache again.  
_Ugh_\- He was just glad he was almost back home. He’d left Komaeda about twenty minutes ago when he noticed they were nearing the center and now only had about an hour to go before he’d _finally_ be home. 

He couldn’t wait.

His bones felt heavy from the fever still lingering inside his body, and he winced at the cold sweat chilling his body even further. He just wanted some sleep; some peace and quiet for his body and mind to recuperate from the trauma it had gone through the last few days.

As if hearing his thoughts and wanting to spite him, the snow grew thicker and the wind picked up, clouding his vision and throwing him off his feet and into the snow.

“Fuck!”

_Fucking fantastic. Of course, no rest for the weary._

He internally cursed the weather and himself for letting his guard down as he went searching for his bag, which had fallen to the ground along with him.

When he did find it, it was drenched by the snow much like his clothes but at least he still had it.

He looked up from dusting off his bag and immediately felt his jaw drop to the floor as he saw a fucking _strawberry plant _not even two feet away from him, half hiding behind a dumpster.  
Dazedly he stood up and walked towards it, feeling the plant’s texture with his fingertips and awing over the condition it was in. The strawberries were small and bordering on green, but the fact that it was growing at all in such harsh conditions was a miracle all on its own.

He knew that after the wars, the climate, air, soil, and water had all drastically changed somehow; winters got colder and harder, summers got unbearably hot, only rainwater and bottled water was drinkable and no soil except for some patches were able to grow anything.  
However, Hajime would have never thought that something like this could be possible. He almost died in this weather himself, so how the fuck could some measly plant survive it?

A small smile graced his lips as he plucked a few of the red, ripe strawberries and popped them into his mouth. They were a little sour and a little bitter, but they definitely tasted like strawberries and he hummed happily at the rare delight, forgetting all about the snow now beating down on him.

The plant must have had a lot of determination and willpower to survive such hardships. It truly is admirable and -Hinata smirked to himself- it would be a tragedy to let its hard work go to waste.

He quickly plucked off some more, happily gobbling them all up before trying to dig behind the dumpster standing against the wall, trying to get some more berries that might be hidden.

Only to find something else entirely.

His veins filled with ice as he came face to face with empty white eyes, half-eaten by the maggots which were crawling out of the corpse’s face. Vines and leaves were twisting out of its chest, red sweet delights growing on its small branches. The corpse’s hand was cut off and a big ‘X’ was carved into its decomposing face.

That was why the plant… It had… probably taken its… nutrients… from the… _corpse_.

Hinata screamed- He gagged- He threw up.

Heaving, he stumbled back, pushing himself off against the wall and away from the dumpster.

“What the fuck! Oh God!”

_That’s disgusting. I can’t believe I- _

Hajime ran a hand through his hair as he once more looked down on the corpse, only to feel his gag reflex acting up again.

He just wanted to look <strike>-run-</strike> away when a peculiar detail stopped him.

Right there, on the wall above the dumpster, a circle was drawn with a vertical line going right through the middle.  
  


They like to hunt. They mark their territory.  
  


_“They’re much simpler than that. Set free by the world we now live in.”_

  
They kill more than once. They like to inflict pain and they don’t kill in self-defense.

_  
“What are they?”_

  
They kill because they like it.

  
Hajime swallowed, panic coursing through his veins as he slung his bag over his shoulder and trudged away through the snow, the image of the rotting body and the bloody symbol burned into his retina.

_  
They_ were a very dangerous _serial killer_.

\---

Much later that night, Komaeda was sitting in front of the fireplace, face eerily lighted by the flames dancing before him.

In his hands were two items: a picture, and a bloodied shirt which he buried his face in with a contented sigh.

The photo was taken by Mahiru on the second night he’d met Hinata in front of Persephone’s Lair. As expected, it pictured pure Despair, explosions going off in the background and chaos evident in every little detail.  
Before the chaos stood two people, one proudly grinning pink-haired boy and a smiling red-haired girl, arms slung over the other’s shoulder and eyes shining brightly as if they were having the time of their lives.

Of course, Komaeda couldn’t remember when this photo was taken, seeing as…

  
He wasn’t on it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first of all, sorry I didn’t upload a new chapter in so long– and sorry I missed Hinata’s birthday! My boi deserved better than this… :’)  
It’s just that I hit a wall for a little while, thinking my writing wasn’t good enough and stuff, and I really felt down about it for a while.  
I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I do promise I’ll try my hardest to fight it!! ಥ⌣ಥ
> 
> Second of all, I really am so grateful for the comments you guys give me. They’re really motivational and so sweet!!  
They really gave me that kick under the butt I needed to write again! (◕‿‿◕｡)
> 
> Btw, here's another AMV just for you! Be careful though! It's a little NSFW! (❁´ω`❁)
> 
> Name: fiesty // komahina amv [hbd doco!]  
From: Juniper Productions  

> 
> If you liked the story, leave a kudos or a comment! ⭐️


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my pc crashed a few months ago- I think Komaeda may or may not have cursed me with some of his (bad) luck.  
However, I've recently received a computer from my school (bc of the quarantine etc) and can thus write in peace once more.  
(●´∀｀●)
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

“Hey, Hinata. Do you know what it means to be alive?”

Hinata's brows drew together at the sudden question, turning around to face the boy walking next to him. He had a sullen look on his face, his eyes dazed and unfocused as they looked into the far distance.

“I don’t.” he simply answered, because he really didn’t have a clue. What _did_ it mean to be alive? To be happy? To make others happy? To contribute to a greater cause or be victim to it?   
Life is always double-sided, it’s never so simple in that you can explain it with one sentence. One’s reason to live could be background noise in another's.

Not that he would tell any of this to Kazuichi. The boy looked somber enough without Hinata’s existential dread adding to it.

“Did something happen? You look uh… not like yourself today?” He cringed visibly at his awkward wording- he really wasn’t the best conversationalist, was he?

Kazuichi shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just that Miss Sonia still hasn’t arrived and I’m worried.”

Hinata sweatdropped, irritated at himself for even worrying in the first place. _Of course,_ it’s about a girl. An Ultimate Despair, sure, but still a girl.  
He could distinctly remember Kazuichi bringing the woman up last time they met too, in an almost… obsessive way.

Hinata sighed. He hadn’t expected to meet the boy again but, just like with Mahiru, they had stumbled into each other. Hajime would’ve preferred to just politely greet the other and be on his merry way, but Kazuichi was having none of that, especially since they were apparently heading the same way. He just determinedly kept insisting they walk together, so… here they were.

“You see, she should’ve arrived days ago! If something happened to her I... I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself!” Kazuichi stated, a dark but fearsome look in his eyes.

Noticing the boy’s growing distress, Hinata let out a nervous laugh. “I’m sure she’s going to be fine. She’s an… Ultimate Despair, right? You guys can take care of yourselves, especially an Ultimate princess- or should I say _queen_ like Miss Nevermind… She probably has an entire army at her feet who are more than willing to protect her.”

At this, Kazuichi’s shoulders relaxed, his lips spreading into a bright smile. “You’re right! If there’s anything I should be worried about then it’s about how I should welcome her! Should I give her a big surprise party? Although that sounds more like something you’d do when it’s someone’s birthday… Maybe I could get fireworks or something. Or I could build…”

Hinata tuned out the other’s incessant rattling. He wasn’t in the mood for it, plus- he’s had to hear the blabbering of Komaeda for days on end now. An entire week of Hope this, Despair that, lucky you, useless me, bla bla- It'd been a week since _the incident_ had occurred and every time he went outside, Komaeda knew a way to find him and pester him into talking. It was with great displeasure that Hajime admitted he was getting used to the other’s presence.

Komaeda was like a stray dog that got too attached and you just can’t kick to the curb.

He’s thought it before but why is Komaeda following him? He says it’s because he doesn’t know which “Luck” Hinata is, but that’s got to be bullshit. Komaeda may be impulsive, but not so in that he’d follow someone around for almost two weeks- what does Komaeda _really_ want from him?

And what can Hajime do to protect himself if it’s something bad?

“Soda-san?”

The other stopped his ramblings, looking like he just bit a sour lemon. “Dude, just leave the honorifics, yeah? Just “-kun” is fine and better yet, just drop the last name thingy and call me Kazuichi. My last name combined with “-san” makes me feel like my dad.”

Hinata frowned at the intimate honorific and he _blanched_ at the idea of calling an Ultimate Despair by their first name, but ultimately nodded at the almost-glare Kazuichi was giving him. He’d give the boy his own first name –if only to be polite- but seeing as there’s a hunt after people like him, he’d rather not endanger himself any further than he already has.

“Right, so Kazuichi-kun, I was wondering…”

Ugh, how was he supposed to ask this…

“You know Komaeda, right?”

Kazuichi's face scrunched up even further and at this point, his face was so wrinkled he looked like a grumpy old man. “Unfortunately! He’s a creepy bastard alright! I don’t spend much time with the guy – for obvious reasons. Why? Somethin’ happen to him?”

Hinata looked off to the side, brow furrowed as he wondered how he should go about this. Maybe he should just tell the truth? Kazuichi isn’t the most cunning or smart person around, he’s pretty genuine; he probably wouldn’t deceive him or use the information against him.

“No, it’s just that the guy has been following me around lately and uh… I was wondering if you…” _knew a weak link in his armor, _”could tell me a little about him?”

Kazuichi’s pink orbs widened, his lips widening into a grimace as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Wow, that sounds rough, man. I _did_ hear he had a new obsession. Apparently that’s you, huh…”  
With a grave face, he turned around to look Hinata in the eye. “Good luck.” He said with a heavy nod and an encouraging pat on the shoulder before he turned around and made himself scarce.

Or tried to anyway.

Kazuichi was ready to sprint away through the dark alleys and never be seen again until a strong hand gripped the back of his collar._ “Don’t even think about it.”_

\---

Having cleared away the snow, they sat on the slightly moist bench in front of some lousy excuse for a park. Maybe once, children would’ve had fun playing there, but now that all the equipment was rusting away and the atmosphere was less than welcoming, Hinata got why no children were happily playing in the sandbox or waiting their turn on the swing.

Maybe it was also just because there're barely any children to speak of in a world like this...

Kazuichi was sitting dejectedly next to him, dazedly watching the creepy park as if he’d just been sentenced to death. “Look, I just have a few questions, after that you’re free to run to wherever, whenever.” Hajime muttered, internally wincing at his harsh words as he turned towards the other.

Kazuichi sighed, ruffling his hair in mild distress as he faced the boy next to him. “It’s just that that dude gives me the creeps! Always has! Talking about Hope and Despair the way he does- _ugh_, I get chills just thinking about it.”

“How long have you known each other?”

Kazuichi shrugged, looking into the distance once again. “We went to the same high school together.” 

Hinata froze. “You what?”

At Hajime’s dead tone, Soda turned around, raising a brow in confusion. “Uh… We went to the same school together? Though I didn’t see him _that_ often- we never talked.”

Komaeda… went to Hope Peak’s Academy? But how… his Talent is nothing like the ones the school usually goes for! How would you even measure Luck? It's not possible… Maybe, Kazuichi meant that, although they went to the same school, Komaeda was a Reserve Course student? He surely had the brains for it…

There’s no way Komaeda’s an Ultimate Despair.

“I- I see. How was he like back then?” He questioned, squirming in his seat as the cold permeated through his pants. They should’ve kept on walking; it’s too cold to just sit and do nothing.

“Hm… Well, I can’t say he changed much. He’s just as self-destructive and just as bad now when it comes to that Hope-Despair shit as he was back then. No one really liked him because of it. Did you know he blew up the gym once because of this Hope thing? Like, how the fuck did a teenager his age even get those explosives?!”

Blinking owlishly, Hajime let that sink in.  
_Even when Komaeda had still been in school and the Tragedy hadn’t hit yet… he had already been like that…?_

“The creep was probably like that since the day he was born or something…” Kazuichi shrugged, answering his unsaid thoughts. “We better get moving though. I’ve still got a lot of parts to collect and I’ve gotta hurry if I want to finish my new project before the month ends!”

Hajime frowned. “Project?”

“Yeah! I haven’t had to work on something this big since the beginning of the Tragedy! Junko’s been extremely bored recently, almost like she had depression or something - which I don’t understand since she achieved her goals, right? But anyway, I think she’s finally building towards something again! She wanted to make lackeys do the worst work for me, but I refused; nothing beats getting your hands dirty and greasy like a real man! And scavenging parts is just as fun as putting them together.”

Hinata was locked in place, muscles trembling as he looked up into the glowing magenta eyes of a deranged boy, filled with the shadows of a crimson past and misplaced excitement.

Junko… Was planning something again?

No. That can’t be… It’s not like it’s been calm recently but in comparison to the chaos Junko caused at the beginning of the Tragedy, it was paradise. The loss he’d experienced back then…

**What would she take this time?**

“Ah! I probably shouldn’t have told that to an outsider! But you won’t tell anyone, right Hinata?”

He nodded numbly, standing up and averting his gaze. He needed to collect food and lock up. He did _not_ want to be in the middle of what he knew was going to be a bloodbath.

“I’ll be going then! I need to go that way and you’re going to Hope’s peak, right?” Kazuichi’s chipper voice jolted Hajime out of his thoughts and he looked up to see the boy back to normal again, bright smile plastered onto his face. “I-uh-what? How did you-“

“I used to go to that school remember? I know this road and that it leads to nothing but a raided little shop, some other raided apartment blocks and that school.”

Hinata frowned. “Then why did you walk this far if you knew there’d be next to no parts for you here?”

Kazuichi stumbled at that, face growing red before he scratched the top of his head. “Do I need an excuse to hang out with my bro or something, geez!”

“But you were the one who gave me that excuse? You said you were heading the same way.”

“Yeah, yeah, no one cares about the details! I gotta get going! Be careful, yeah?!”

Hajime simply nodded, unable to keep up with Kazuichi's weird way of thinking, and with that the other disappeared into the shadows of the back alleys. "Right, so that happened..." he muttered, confused as he once more began his trek to the (in)famous school. It was starting to snow again and he was supposed to gather food and supplies, but he couldn't resist the urge to visit the Academy once he noticed he was so closeby. 

His talk with Kazuichi had done him no good though, he was feeling even more unnerved; Komaeda being so obsessed with Hope hadn't been caused by the Tragedy, rather, Komaeda had always been like that. Why? How? When did he become like that? That way of thinking is in no way healthy- why didn't anyone do something about it? Why didn't anyone get him help? 

How crazy for Hope was he? _How far would he go for it?_

That's the most important question. Would he drag Hinata down with him? Use him in order to reach his goal -Whatever that may be? What did he even see in him? 

It was frustrating, having all these questions and no way to answer them or even find a way to avoid their cause. If he hid, no doubt Komaeda would find him and if he locked himself up in his apartment, his food would quickly run out and even then he didn't doubt that somehow, Komaeda would find a way to discover where he lived.

He'll just have to be diligent, aware of his surroundings and... hope for the best.

That miserable conclusion reached, Hajime warily watched the entrance gates to the infamous Hope's Peak Academy. It's the new school building, the one where the Ultimates got to hone their skills... The gates were hanging half off their hinges, the old paint starting to peel and the academy itself didn't look much better. Half of it was burned down when the Tragedy began while the other half was destroyed, the time that had passed since then really didn't help. 

Despite all this, Hajime looked at the building in awe. The school, even with all of the misfortune and destruction it's been through, still oozes brilliance from every piece of metal and wood that was left standing. The building where only the truly Talented could enter; those with a Talent so great it could give Hope to all who needed it.

A place he could never go inside of. Not until now anyway. Setting foot over the border felt like sacrilege, as if he was defiling the blessed grounds of a place he had no business setting foot in.

The hall was spacious and carried a sense of elegance to it, he could still see the grace it must've once had even through the ruins. But now, dust hung thick in the air and burn marks darkened the support beams to his right, which creaked dangerously under their own weight. The scorch marks were even more apparent when looking into the far-right hallway, where it looked more like a skeleton of a building than anything else. The wood of the window frames had long since burned to a crisp along with the walls. Hinata bet they'd fall over with a simple push.

He decided to go left first.

It was weird, he always expected the hallways of Hope's Peak to be bustling with sound. The sound of happiness and Talent gathered in once place, and he was sure that this was true two years ago before the Tragedy hit.

His footsteps echoed throughout the dusty hallways, the creaks of the building rising the hair on the back of his neck as he inspected hallway after hallway. Despite having more classrooms than a normal school and some special equipment it looked like a normal school with desks, chairs, blackboards... People must've come and buried the bodies of the students somewhere at the beginning of the Tragedy.

There were still some bloodstains here and there...

One classroom, despite being on the good end of the building, was still extremely destroyed. Hinata, after climbing a ridiculous amount of stairs, reached one of the higher floors and was now standing in the broken door opening of a ravaged room. The blackboard was off the wall, one of its corners nowhere to be seen, some of the desks and chairs were upturned or were so burned they were close to being a mere heap of ash. _Everything_ looked burnt to a crisp.

It looked like a bomb had gone off.

However, the most shocking detail of this room was that an _entire wall was missing. _

It was just gone, the foundation of the wall still partly sticking out. Brocks of cement were lying on the floor, wooden beams sticking out from the ceiling and walls while a strong breeze blew through the room. His mind was screaming to get out of there before one of those beams fell and hit his head but he couldn't move; something about this room was different. He could feel it, his instinct telling him this room was important. 

His foot made the step before his brain could catch up, his other stepping over rubble as he made his way towards the giant opening. His heart was thundering inside his chest like a bird trapped in a cage, he felt like the floor would give way under him any second now, plunging him into the depths. A strong breeze blew through his hair and ruffled his clothing as he finally noticed he couldn't step any further without endangering himself to the point of no return. He looked up from his feet and into the open clearing before him.

Wow. He was... very high up, wasn't he...? 

He could see the entire school campus from there; A see of trees surrounded all the buildings, the empty branches seeming to reach out to the crimson skies. The Reserve Course building was standing to his far left, painted a boorish cement grey and looking quite ragged; you could almost see the misery wafting off that building in fumes, like an aura of sorts. In the middle was a charming, little square which housed a fountain, multiple roads connecting there and linking all the buildings together. The old school building was standing tall and proud to his right, not at all looking as if it were the grounds on which a group of young adults had been forced to slaughter each other in cold blood.

If he'd been smart enough to get through the mandatory fucking test, he'd probably have spend his days at that little fountain, agonizing over the fact that he was so close and still so far away from being someone successful. He narrowed his eyes as he looked up at the crimson sky, not knowing if that fate was worse or better than the one he had now. He'd probably have died, though... killing himself along with the other Reserve students.

Sure, he hasn't Despaired like the rest of the world, but who could beat brainwashing?

Junko, after everything was said and done, explained through a broadcast her entire plan of what she had done and how she'd done it. She either wanted to cause more Despair or maybe she was just bored, but what else could he do than believe her? How else would an entire student body simultaneously kill themselves? How else could the world fall into Despair that easily and that quickly? The Ultimate Despair, Junko... they're powerful but even they have limits.

...Now that he thinks about it though, he must at least be a little immune to it.

He'd watched one of her videos once, in the far beginning of the Tragedy, although he didn't watch it until the end.

He'd been able to feel his mind fall into that fruitless pit of darkness, feel the shadows pull his memories this way and that until he couldn't tell who he was anymore. He'd closed his laptop and thrown it against the wall as soon as his hands were able to move again, screaming a fit and clutching his head like a mad man. It had taken a week until he'd felt like himself again. But he had been able to snap himself out of it, unlike so many others. 

His parents had still been alive back then too... He'd told them not to watch that video or anything else of hers.

A mirthless chuckle escaped him at the thought. _Not that it mattered, it didn't save them in the end..._

Junko hasn't broadcast anything for about a year now, but he knew she could. Hinata didn't know how or when she did it, but she had monitors placed all over the country and had enough electricity to turn them on even. He didn't know about other countries though, maybe she had people working for her there?   
It didn't matter, he's never watched anything of hers again after that, merely listening to her broadcasts. Never again would he look at one of the screens which showed her sadistic actions or smiles hidden with cruel intentions. 

She truly was a monster, using those videos to not only induce Despair, but command the entire population.

It’s unsettling to realize that... the only real difference between him and those students was that he had time to adapt to the new shadows in his mind and they... didn't. The video they watched had given them an order. An instruction to spread chaos and eventually...commit mass suicide.

If there had been a command in the video _he_ watched, to kill himself...

No doubt he'd done so. 

But he adapted and as he did, the video seemed to fade from his mind, as if disappearing into thin air. Who was in that video again? Hadn't he... known them?

D̶̥̋͝i̵̻͔̯͂͛d̵̟͌n̸̨̆̎͠'̸̹͈̙̽t̶̡̫̩̥̐́̏̃ ̵̯̭͉̠͛͠s̵͉͕̺̣̬̃̌h̷̠̗̜̓̂̍è̶͙͓̊͝ ̵̼͝u̶̘̹̒s̶̞̘̞̊̈̄͂e̷̻̜̹̍̐̊͗ ̵̓̽͑́ͅt̴̗͙̓͑̆̀͠ö̵͖̠̼̫́̐͒ ̶̞͉͖̎̒̀̂͠g̸̞̻̩̯͔̈́͛̑̚͝o̶̱͒ ̷̡͉̹͈̎̔̂̏͝t̶͍͉̺͑̓̈̍o̷̩͍͎̎̎ ̸͉͈̲̚t̷̥̜̾̐h̷̝̿̇̌͐ͅi̸̘͎̳̰̩̎̈́ṡ̴̜͍̣̃͘ ̴̱͔͎̺̣̏̆́s̶͕̄̔̋̀͜͠c̴̦̪̦͊̓ͅh̸͓̙̼̦̎̓̒ȯ̸̤̦̓̓̆̋ơ̸̪̘̣͓̒̏̈́͘l̸̗͎̍̈?̸̣̥̞̒̄̃͘͠

He met her at the gate. A girl. She was quiet, kind, captivating in a way he could never be. She'd brought him Hope for a while. Just by talking with her and playing games with her, she'd brightened up his world...

And in return, h̵̞̫͆͑ë̴̮̘ ̴͙̯͊̌ḩ̶̊ä̵̛̙̜́d̴̝̠̂ ̵͚́̇f̷͎̕ǫ̵̠̍͝r̷̰̂g̴̘̝͋͝ỏ̴̰̩̚t̷̜͔͛̕t̸̪̉͜e̸̋ͅn̸̙̏̈́ ̴̻̠̒̅h̶̝̓͘e̵̢̠͑ṙ̴̺̑.̴͙̘͂̏

Yes, her name was-

"Hinata-kun."

Hajime turned around, eyes wide as he recognized the white-haired boy behind him. "Komaeda?"

Komaeda stuck out his hand. "It's too dangerous to stand by the edge like that, take my hand."

Hinata stared at the boy before him, perplexed at his sudden arrival. He was unmoving though, waiting for Hajime patiently and calmly, trusting he would come to him on his own. As usual Komaeda's smile was plastered onto his face, his snow-like hair dancing in the soft breeze going through the room.

Without even noticing it, his body moved and he accepted the hand, letting Komaeda pull him back into safety. "Are you okay? Why are you... crying?"

Scrunching his nose at the absurd question he touched his cheek. He wasn't crying, what was he talking abou- oh. His fingers came away wet.  
"I-I don't know", he mumbled, hurriedly trying to wipe away the tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He really didn't want to cry in front of this guy... He already seemed weak enough without the other knowing he was a huge sensitive idiot who cries for literally no reason. 

Hinata didn't immediately understand what was happening but a warm body was slowly pressed up against his, a strong arm encircling his waist as another guided his head onto Komaeda’s shoulder.

"What... What are you doing?" 

"Hugging you."

"...Why?"

"Isn't hugging someone you care about when they're in pain a normal thing to do?"

_Care about...? _"It's weird."

Komaeda let go of him, stepping back and laughing sheepishly as he clapped his hands. "Ahah...Should've known our friendship wasn't that far yet! Someone like me shouldn't get that conceited..."

Hinata lifted a brow as a smirk unconsciously tilted the corners of his lips. "We're friends?" 

Komaeda became beet red. "I-I, uhm, I thought after saving each other's life, maybe..."

"Hmm...Look who's getting bold."

At that, he reddened even more, looking like a tomato with hair as he averted his gaze to the ruins around them. "I know I'm not deserving to be your friend, but-"

Hinata withheld a sigh at the other's predictable response. "It's fine, sure, we're friends."

He might be extremely stupid to get close to the person who might or might not be planning his demise or something along those lines, but they've known each other for around two weeks now. They've seen each other nearly every single day and although he's still wary of the guy, he's starting to enjoy his company...

Or maybe that's the insanity talking- ugh, anyway, he’ll probably be seeing Komaeda a lot more from now on so why not try and get on friendly terms with him? Maybe even figure out some of his plans in the progress...

However, before Komaeda could say something, Hinata put up a finger, "But, your ass is starting at level 1, got it?"

"I'll try leveling up as soon as I can!" Komaeda declared excitedly, taking his gloved hands in his own.

Hajime shook his head, stifling a surprised laugh. Who knew this guy could be so childish? "Sure, good luck."

Komaeda hummed gleefully. "Shall we get going then? I get the feeling that if we stand around here for much longer the ceiling will cave in on us", he declared, warily looking up at the creaking wood above them as he talked.

Hinata smiled. “Yeah, let's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here‘s the new AMV- the EdiTiNg is just... *kisses fingers* top notch. ^^
> 
> Name: a komahina edit  
From: Mikazuchini
> 
> PS: Stay safe, okay? Wash your hands and take good care of yourself and your loved ones!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I had so much fun writing this and to be honest, I'm a little proud of this one! ^^ 
> 
> Even though it's quite the heavy chapter, I sincerely hope you'll enjoy it too!  

> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

_They'd left the classroom, opting to go back downstairs, and had found their way to the little square in the middle of the school. The fountain, unfortunately, didn't work anymore, the water murky and their surroundings quiet except for their footsteps which echoed loudly throughout the clearing. "So, Komaeda, what exactly were you doing here? It's not like I didn't expect to see you today, but I wouldn't have thought I’d meet you here of all places." Hajime inquired, watching the boy from the corner of his eyes as he pondered his answer._

_"Hm, well, I just had the sudden urge to visit this place again. Guess I felt a little nostalgic?" Komaeda shrugged playfully. _

_Hinata hummed as he remembered Kazuichi’s words.  
Komaeda used to be a student here; it’s a concept Hinata just can’t seem to wrap his head around. Komaeda sitting in his classroom in the Reserve Course building, looking longingly out the window at the Ultimates who are training to become the next generation’s new Hope. In his spare time, would he have sat at this fountain, looking up at the sky with a look filled with desire and loneliness?  
If Hinata had been able to attend the school, would they have been friends?_

_He didn’t know for sure._

_“I get the feeling, I would’ve gone back to my own school a long time ago if I could muster the courage.” Hajime murmured, laughing weakly to himself. “However, I don’t think I could handle the destruction and death now lingering in that place. It was part of my normal, innocent life back then, you know? I don’t want the memory of it to become tainted by death and Despair like...“, _like all the rest of them… _Hajime swallowed uncomfortably._

_Having watched the boy as he talked, Hajime could see the emotions on his face morphing from one to another, changing from curiosity to surprise, to that calming, serene smile that he so often wore when in Hinata's presence. “I understand. Though I guess I handle the feeling a little differently.”_

_This had Hinata’s curiosity peaked, his brows lifting and head slightly canting as his lips grew into a small smile. "_ _Do enlighten me. Maybe I could learn a little something from your ways", he smirked, holding back his laughter at the way Komaeda’s brows scrunched together in confusion. Like a little kid..._

_“Well if you think you could learn something from a useless nobody like me, then I’ll try to… explain it in terms you’ll understand", Komaeda smiled, not at all noticing the way Hinata’s mood switched and his eye twitched in annoyance as the other insulted himself again._

One day, I’ll hit him for it...

_“You see, while you run away from these places and the feelings they carry with them”, Okay, true as that may be: _ouch_, “in fear of encountering Despair I… try to face them. I want to take it in, feel the Despair under the tips of my fingers and in the crevices of my thoughts as I realize that, the Despair I’m feeling in that moment can be turned into a beautiful, shining Hope.” _Ah. I should’ve known, _“No Despair is great enough to overcome Hope, not indefinitely, anyway. How greater the Despair, how greater the battle, war and eventually Hope will be when it wins.” _

_Komaeda rattled, his words hanging heavy in the air as he looked Hinata in the eye once more, smiling brightly as he clapped his hands. “The world was already in ruins before this all began. The Tragedy is just the start to a better world, a stepping stone for a greater Hope. I go to these places to remind myself of that.”_

_Hinata felt breathless. From disgust, fear or… something else, he didn’t know.  
“How weird and… awful as that sounds, I do kind of understand.” He uttered, his brain whirring frantically as his mouth formed the words. _Did I just agree that the Tragedy was a good thing?!_  
“Or, no, that’s not what I meant. I- Ugh…” He felt a headache coming up, pain building behind his eyes as he massaged them. It was like Komaeda was making him forgo his morals, pulling Hinata into his own dark shadows without him even noticing…_

_Komaeda’s smile grew into a conniving grin; watching the poor boy experience the influence of a Soul Bond first hand, even though Hinata had no idea of its existence, gave him a sense of satisfaction nothing else could. It was as if seeing the effect he had on the usually stoic and stubborn Hinata soothed something feral within him. Or rather… awakened it. _

_Komaeda wasn’t dumb. He knew he was unstable, he knew he was the cause of their painful shared dreams and Hinata’s weird mood swings, sicknesses and headaches. He knew that in the Bond they shared, he was the weak link dragging them both down… but the fact that Hinata stayed afloat despite all those things tells him so much about the boy.  
Hinata’s strong, the boy has walls around his mind made out of the same thing he’s trying so desperately to keep out. Despair, hurt, hate, fear. It’s thrilling that Komaeda can chip away at them, much like he’d done just now. _

_Truly, a Soulmate Bond is nothing to sneeze at. _

_“Are you okay?” Komaeda asked, putting on a worried front as he leaned forward a little, trying to see Hajime’s face as he looked down towards the cement road. “...Fine, I’m fine.” He muttered, waving his hand as if trying to wave away Komaeda’s worries- or his face seeing as it was inching way too close to his own. _

_“We should probably get moving if we want to see more of this place, we only have a few hours of sunlight left", he stated, straightening up and walking faster as he left a secretly gleeful Komaeda to catch up._

\---

Hinata blinked his eyes rapidly as he tried to ban the memories from his head

He felt like he’d swallowed a brick. His throat felt sore from keeping back sobs, his eyes burnt, his lungs felt constricted and his stomach hurt, probably from stress. His hand went to his hair, pulling at the strands in annoyance as his headache only grew, the other balling up into a fist inside his pocket.

He didn’t want to remember, he didn’t want to recall what came next. He didn’t know why Komaeda’s harsh words hurt him so much, why he felt so conflicted when hearing them, why the boy had such a big influence on him. Komaeda hadn’t said those things with the intent of hurting his feelings, he’d just expressed his personal opinion on the matter.

One even that Hinata _shared_. 

So why, _why_ was he so upset?

\---

_“Is your Talent 'deceiving', perhaps? Or a variation of 'Lying'?” Komaeda’s voice echoed loudly, making Hajime cringe at how loud it was. “Nope, wrong again, Komaeda.” He answered in a quieter voice. _

_“Damn, well, better luck next time right?”_

_Hinata’s shoulders shook with mirth as he tried to keep back a laugh. “Is your Luck something that can get better or worse over time? I didn’t know it was so finicky... Well, to be honest, I don’t know a whole lot about you at all…” The last bit he’d muttered to himself, but Komaeda had heard it anyway and chuckled at the comment. “There isn’t a lot to know about me, but if you insist, I can tell you a few things...Hm, let's see... My Talent’s Luck- though you already know that. I’m obsessed with Hope, my parent’s died when I was young, I like cleaning-“_

_“W-wait, hold up! What was that about your parents you just skimmed over like it was nothing? When did that happen? How? Why would your Luck allow that to happen? Is that why you’re- ah!” Hinata blushed as he realized he was being quite insensitive. “I-I’m sorry, just ignore that…”_

_Komaeda hummed, waving away his concerns as he shook his head. “It's fine. I was twelve when it happened. They died in a plane crash. And about my Luck… it's like you said before. It's quite finicky… just like a coin it has two sides and I'm never sure which one it'll land on. Good Luck for me is often followed by an even bigger Bad Luck, and vice versa.”_

_Hajime felt his jaw drop. “Wow… That… must suck.” _

_My _God_, he really had to work on his conversation skills._

_Luckily for him, however, Komaeda just laughed. “Yeah, it does.” _

_A peaceful silence swept over them as they walked over the threshold and inside the halls of the Reserve Course building.  
Hinata had to say it was... predictably boring. _

_It felt like the entire building and everything inside had been greyscaled, the air inside feeling stale as if the lingering feelings of sadness and hopelessness still remained, pressing down on him. As if the building stood still in time. The halls, although dusty and forgotten, were nowhere near the destruction of the former building he had visited not ten minutes ago. _

_He’d read once that from all the students in the Reserve Course, ninety percent of them were Untalented. At first, the idea had boggled him. So many people like him gathered in one place? It was unheard of, most of the time his kind disappeared into the crowds, trying to go undetected. However, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.  
Those who were Untalented were desperate for validation, to be accepted, to be _Talented_. Of course his kind would want to be close to the next best thing, right? To be close to the Ultimates, to be able to say you went to Hope’s Peak Academy, to be able to say you were close to being a someone even though your soul is as grey and bland as your Mark is a _blessing_. _

_So, of course, they gathered here. They had their parents pay a ridiculous amount of money, studied their asses off for that acceptancy test and then called themselves successful, while in reality, they were no better off than they were before. _

_In the end, they had it worse. _

_Hope’s Peak had been experimenting on humans behind closed doors, using the Reserve Course's money to pay for the equipment. What they were trying to achieve wasn’t stated, but it was indicated that their testings were inhumane and could endanger more than just the test subject. Junko had published this “informative” video, showing one of the test subjects living out his days in the hospital, unable to move or talk. Paralyzed and trapped within his own body until he died. The second clip was of another test subject hurting himself after the experiment, ripping out his eyes, scratching at his face until it was a bloody mess, biting off his tongue, screaming loudly and choking on his own blood… He didn’t stop until the guards sedated him. _

_Of course, the video caused an uproar and this along with the brainwashing caused the poor students to go crazy.  
Despaired. _

_Hajime flinched as he heard a certain scratching sound echoing through the hallway._

_Komaeda was walking a step behind him, trailing the tip of his nails over the baby blue lockers as he observed the halls and corridors along with Hinata. “This building really is quite dull, isn’t it? Although it being anything else would be surprising, I suppose.” _

_Hinata 'hmmd', looking back slightly as he slid open a metal door and stepped inside a random classroom. It had a large window with a captivating view on part of the campus, looking out on the old academy building. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”_

_Komaeda followed him inside, coming to stand beside him in front of the window. _

_“Talentless people, Talented people, Ultimates, it’s a food chain which society itself created. No, even before that- It’s as old as our beginning. Did you know that cavemen used to kill babies born with a grey mark? Talents back then used to be simpler and there were only a few back then, seeing as Talents evolve along with humankind, their interests and society. Many used to have the same Talents such as being good at hunting, knowing instinctually which plants were poisonous and which weren’t, etc._

_Talentless would only make mistakes, they’d only endanger themselves or those around them, and for that they were, more often than not, killed before they could do any actual damage.”_

_Komaeda’s voice sounded calm, formal, like he was teaching a class instead of talking to a friend. Why was he telling him this?_

_“That’s horrible, they were killed before they even had a chance to prove themselves…” He muttered, deciding to take a seat at the desk in the back of the class, closest to the window. _

_“What was there to prove? They were useless. They were _–are- _no better than the trash lying on the sidewalk.” Komaeda shrugged, still looking out the window._

_Hajime stiffened. “Excuse me?”_

_Komaeda turned around, looking down on him as a teacher would its student, smiling gently and putting a hand on the corner of the desk, leaning over him slightly.  
“It’s true. They’re the bottom of the food chain, they have nothing useful to bring to society. Hopeless. While I don’t particularly like “normally” Talented people, at least they can contribute something, and Ultimates can do what no one else can, give Hope to the people."_

_Komaeda laughed and Hajime felt himself grow numb.  
"You see, an Untalented will never draw as pretty as someone born with the gift of making art. An Untalented will never find or piece together evidence as fast or as skillful as someone born with the Talent to become an Ultimate Detective.”_

_Komaeda was now fully leaning on the desk, his eyes lidded as a huge grin overtook his face. A hand was clutching his chest while the other was clasped tightly around the table, nails fighting a losing battle against the hard, painted wood of the desk as they left indents. An air of Despair clung to him like a thick, suffocating blanket._

_Hinata could do nothing but watch as Komaeda suddenly seemed to go into this downwards spiral of Talent and Hope and Despair. And here he thought Komaeda would have a normal day without any mental breakdowns..._

_They shouldn’t have come here, he should’ve known that this was another of Komaeda’s mental weaknesses. _

_He may have been looking for weak links in the boy’s armour, but this... in truth he already knew several. Things like Luck, Despair, Hope and apparently Talent were all weaknesses he had. His world revolved around these topics, they made him lost in his own little world. They made him vulnerable and at the same time oh so dangerous. _

_It pained Hajime to see him this way. Lost, deranged, and Despaired. In this state...Hinata would never be able to take advantage of him. Not even to protect himself…_

_Komaeda, however, seemed oblivious to his internal battle of morals as he kept on rambling, his eyes staring deeply into Hajime’s as if trying to look into the deepest part of his soul. _

_Hinata felt like Komaeda actually was.  
_

_“To make sure they’ll keep loyal to the system, humanity has been thaught that if you try hard enough, you can accomplish anything. But people who can’t win… People who don’t try to win… people who try their best and still can’t win… _

_…They are all _worthless trash.”

_And that, those words right there, made Hinata’s heart clench together in **pain**. _

_“I see.”_

_“Of course, I’m nowhere near an actual Ultimate; my Talent isn’t even a Talent, so I’m no different from the other trash. It’s just that I’ve accepted my fate, acknowledged my place in society, something those Grey Souls seem rather reluctant to do.” Komaeda continued, his grin diminishing into a soft smile as he saw Hinata lost in thought, a cute crease between his brows._

_Hajime recoiled at the other’s sudden touch beneath his chin, only for Komaeda to roughly grab it and pull him forwards. His eyes widened in shock, staring into Komaeda’s as he tried to ignore the boy’s cold breath on his lips. They were but a mere few inches apart, Komaeda’s hold sharpening as his typical, calming smile took over his face once more. “You may not be an Ultimate chosen by this school, Hinata; but I will help you become the Hope I _know_ you could be…”_

_Hajime grit his teeth and shoved Komaeda off, making him bump painfully into the table behind him. “Stop! Just stop it!” _

_The white-haired boy looked up at Hinata in innocent confusion, ruefully rubbing his hips as he tried to steady himself. “Ouch, what’s wrong Hinata-kun?”_

_\---_

He remembered muttering something about having an urgent matter he had to attend to and then just booking it. Not once did he look back as he speed-walked from that classroom, breaking into a run as soon as he left the building. He’d been walking aimlessly for about an hour now, trying to forget today even happened at all. It didn’t work in the slightest, his heart constricting painfully at Komaeda’s words which were still ringing loudly in his ears.

_They’re the bottom of the food chain, they have nothing useful to bring to society._

He wholeheartedly shared that opinion, it was ingrained into him, and _still_, still his heart ached, his legs trembled, emotions overruled rational thought as he kicked a nearby trashcan, the sound echoing throughout the otherwise quiet street he was walking on.

He didn’t ask to be born like this! Boring, dull, useless, with a grey mark. He’s tried so many times for so many years to prove himself towards society, his family, himself…

_But people who can’t win… People who don’t try to win… people who try their best and still can’t win… _

_…They are all worthless trash._

Only to fail every time.

He sighed, unclenching his fists and pulling his black jacket tighter around himself to protect him from the cold. It still smelled a little like Komaeda… lavender and ash...  
  


Hajime considered what Komaeda could've meant with "helping him become the Hope he knew Hinata could be". It could be anything really, knowing Komaeda…

…  
  


No, he really didn’t have a clue. It's an outlandish idea. Impossible.

Though of course, Komaeda wouldn’t know this. He wouldn’t know Hinata was “Hopeless”, as the guy himself had so delicately described his kind. He had no idea about his lack of Talent; Hajime was sure that if Komaeda did, he’d have ratted him out weeks ago, disgusted by even having seen him as an equal.

The idea hurt him, almost just as much as hearing Komaeda say all those things with a straight face.

He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He wanted to hide away the painful memory, just like he’d done to so many others.

_Why must the world be so unfair? _

He started walking through the back alleys once again, making his way home. He wasn’t in the mood to look for food or supplies anymore. He felt tired. Body heavy and eyes drooping.

He felt tired a lot these days, didn’t he?

Mindlessly wandering, he almost didn’t notice it when a loud scream sounded from a little further away. However, he did hear it and the sound instinctively made him flinch, ducking behind a dumpster…

Thank God there wasn’t another corpse behind there…

The screaming quickly came closer and now Hinata could also hear signs of struggling, the ruffling of clothing and feet dragging over the ground, then the sound of a fist hitting someone in the face. Peeping from behind the dumpster, he saw a woman with silver-like hair dragging a lanky boy from out of another alleyway, throwing him on the ground as they neared the intersection a little way ahead… only about 8 feet from where he was hiding.

Of course, they had to stop here…

Hinata withheld a groan, seeing as that would give him away pretty fast, and peeked further from behind the dumpster as he tried to make out the woman's face. She stood with her back towards him though, arms crossed as she watched the bleeding, blubbering mess at her feet. The boy couldn't be older than eighteen, maybe even younger, and he was clearly malnourished, his bones protruding sharply and his skin paper-thin and greyish. He tried to crawl away from the woman, hands grasping at nothing but filth and rubble and snow as he tried to drag himself forwards... 

Ah, his legs were broken.

Hajime felt himself shaking, his conscious screaming at him to do something and safe the poor boy, but he knew he couldn't. He'd only bring himself in danger, possibly even get himself killed. 

Plus, something about that woman felt... off.

The crying boy was pushed down as another man come from the back alley, putting his boot on the other's back as he sighed and looked at his watch. "Where is she? She should've been here by now. It's her Goddamn project, you'd expect the bitch to be on time, right?"

The man's voice sounded kinda... Boyish? He was also a lot smaller than the other woman, but Hinata couldn't see his face since it was obstructed by his hat. 

"Yes, master. Maybe she encountered trouble on the way here?" the woman's cool voice answered.

The other scoffed, kicking the boy on the ground for good measure, and to probably relieve some of his stress, before looking around the area. Hinata's heart stopped when the boy's eyes slid over him, not just because he was scared he'd been found, but because the boy standing before him was none other than Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu.

_Fuck! Oh fuck. That's Ultimate Despair Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu and... that must mean that's Peko Pekoyama. Oh fuck. _

"Peko, have you checked the surroundings?"

_OH FUCK, they might not see him behind the dumpster, but they’d definitely see the footprints in the snow leading right to him!_

"No, master, I was rather occupied with... detaining our captive." Pekoyama explained as she glanced at the boy's broken legs.

Kuzuryu clicked his tongue. "Fine, I'll do it myself-"

"NO NEED!" A shrill voice came from the alleyway opposite to where the other couple came from. A pair of heels clicking on the asphalt in an almost upbeat rhythm as they steadily came closer, as if the person was happily skipping their way through the grossest parts of town.

"I really don't care if someone’s watching us or not!" the piercing voice continued, currently standing where he couldn't see her- not if he wanted to keep his cover anyway.

"Anyway! I'm not sorry about my belated entrance! A queen is always fashionably late, after all!" The girl laughed. Her voice had this constant high pitch that only went higher at the end of her sentences, which made her sound like an annoying, snobby teenager.

It triggered him for some reason. Where had he heard it before?

Kuzryuu sighed. "It doesn't matter, we contacted you because we found one."

"Took you guys long enough! I was almost thinking you'd lost your touch!"

"Our apologies." Pekoyama responded before an irritated Kuzuryu could.

"Yeah yeah, watevs! Just lemme see! lemme see, lemme see!" the squeaky voice yelled, the girl seemingly jumping up and down as Kuzuryu roughly grabbed the boy lying on the ground.

Hinata had no idea what was happening. Who was that girl? Why were two Despairs wandering around the back alleys? What made that boy so special?

He needed to get out of here before things escalated further. 

The whimpering boy struggled against Kuzuryu, but was ultimately no match for the yakuza as he ripped away his shirt, exposing the boy's collarbone.

A collarbone which showed a grey Mark.

Hinata's blood went cold.  
  


"OH. MY. GOD, YOU GUYS! This is the best present ever! I'm so happy!" The girl screamed, finally jumping in frame as she went to hug an awkward Pekoyama. Blonde curls danced around the girl's frame as she moved, icy blue eyes roaming over her new victim as she clasped her pedicured hands together in excitement.

Junko... Enoshima... why... why was she here? 

Hinata couldn't wrap his head around it, couldn't comprehend what- _who_ he was seeing before him.

His gaze went blurry. His body shook. 

  
He could kill her.  
  


She was less than eight feet away. He had his gun on him- not wanting to experience anything like last week again- and if he was fast enough, he might just manage to hit her before Pekoyama or Kuzuryu noticed him. His aim wasn't the best, but the distance wasn't too great... He could do it. He'd die after, but not before having the satisfaction of seeing the dying face of someone who'd killed millions, someone who'd only caused him destruction, pain and Despair.

_He could avenge his parents._

So why..?

Why couldn’t he MOVE?

The boy's whimpering pulled him out of his thoughts, looking up he found him slung over Pekoyama's shoulder, Junko pulling on his cheeks as she laughed at his expense. "Don't you worry, pumpkin! We're not going to kill you!" She giggled, petting the boy's hair as she shook her head, her expression suddenly turning dark. "Not as long as you do as you're told anyway. Now, be a good boy and don't struggle anymore, okay?" At the last part, her voice and tone sprung up again into that annoying high pitch. The boy, wincing from the nails digging into his scalp, nodded to the best of his capability and Junko let go.  
"Great! Let's. Get. Going, then! We have a lot to do and I'm _so excited!" _She screeched as she walked away, gesturing for the other two to follow her. "C'mon! Get your _asses_ moving, sweetpeas!" 

The other two wordlessly fell behind and just before they turned the corner, the boy looked straight at Hajime from over Pekoyama's shoulder.

'help' he mouthed.

And then they disappeared.

Hinata blacked out before his head even hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another underrated, mega-cool AMV here! -I fucking love this one-  
Enjoy! 
> 
> Name: ah yes, the negotiator  
From: xshiiru
> 
> I actually got a little inspiration from this AMV for some of the things Komaeda said, since it was just too good of an opportunity to let pass ^^
> 
> Anywaysss, Stay Safe Everyone!! ;3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING! **The following chapter contains portrayal of mass suicide! (not any of the main characters)  
Though if you’ve watched Danganronpa, you’ll probably be able to handle this… _ *cough* Reserve Course *cough*_
> 
> \- but still, I thought I should warn you since it’s a little graphic. ^^”
> 
> Enjoy reading…!
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

A deep crease had settled between Hajime’s brows.  
His gaze was solely focused on his mirror image: his piercing olive eyes, his unruly brown hair standing up to all sides and the raw scar on his arm which was still in the process of healing.  
He’d just finished showering, water still dripping from his hair and skin as a towel was wound tightly around his hips.

He'd had the usual dream again last night. His parents' death fresh in his memory as he woke up that morning, snow pounding heavily against the glass of his windows.

_He had no idea how he got home._

He just woke up in his bed like any other day, like it was nothing, shoes neatly abandoned at the entrance and jacket laid over the end of the bed.

Nothing was stolen, he wasn’t hurt- except for the nasty bump on his head which he’d received from when he fell unconscious. He was truly confused _but_ he wasn’t going to look a gifted horse in the mouth.

For now, at least…

No, he had more important things to think and stress about. Now that he knew the Ultimate Despair were actively searching the streets for the Talentless_, _he was terrified. Hinata felt like his chances of survival in this cruel, harsh world had just been diminished into ashes, blown away by the wind as if it had never existed in the first place.  
Before, they didn’t focus too much on the Talentless, leaving a big part of the hunt up to the normal Despaired as their own interests laid closer to the spreading of chaos…

But now…  
Was that what Kuzuryu and Pekoyama had been doing that day? When Hajime had run into them that first time, they’d been harassing some guy on the streets. Normally, they were very efficient and swift when dealing with those that dared oppose them, but that hadn’t been the case last time. The man, which he had presumed to be a Psychotic, had been bloody and battered - shot, even- but he had still been breathing.

_They’d wanted to check his Soulmark._

Hajime paled at the realization.  
The realization of why Pekoyama hadn’t instantly killed him like she’d killed the Psychotics that had been chasing him following soon after. Almost all Psychotics were inherently Talented, having Despaired so much they hunted other humans, cannibalizing them. With him forsaking the typical Monokuma colors the Psychotics like to wear so much, the chance existed he was one of her supposed targets.

_It’s why she’d saved him from the dog. _

_Oh, God. _What would’ve happened, had he not escaped? Would he still be alive?

Was that boy from yesterday still alive?

A shuddering breath left his lips and he closed his eyes, rubbing them with the palm of his hands. He should’ve done something, but if he had, he’d undoubtedly be dead too.

Was this what Soda had been talking about? Was this part of Junko’s big plan?

  
Hajime got himself dressed, trying to even out his breathing as he put on the dark jacket Komaeda had gifted him. The vague smell of lavender still clinging to the fabric calmed his nerves, if only just a little.

Breakfast existed out of pineapple slices from a can; the fruit was set to expire next week and the juice was already pretty syrupy, so he reasoned that he better eat it now while it was still edible.  
Enjoying the sweet taste of the exotic fruit, he took stock of his food supply… there was awfully little. If he kept on lingering and stalling like he’d done the last few days, he was inevitably going to run out soon. He needed to keep on track, or at least as close to it as he could manage.

  
So why… why was he standing here two hours later, being driven into a corner by some of the most dangerous and notorious druggies in the entire city?  
Hajime knew better, he knew which allies to take and which ones to avoid, so why was he in _their_ territory? Were his thoughts so scattered and hectic that he couldn’t even notice anymore when he stepped onto treacherous grounds?

“Wow, look at t-that, seems l-like we’ve found a lost, little m-mouse”, one of the druggies stuttered, head occasionally twitching to the side as his smile spread into a menacing grin. Hinata pursed his lips, deciding that staying quiet was the wiser option here as he observed his opponents. There were about six of them, all seemingly uncomfortable in their own skin, either scratching at it or twitching uncontrollably.  
_Probably due to a shortage of drugs_, Hinata reasoned as he observed their scratched wrists and necks, the heavy bags under their eyes and the light sheen of sweat covering their faces- which did not improve their overall already messy image.

Hinata had also noticed that on each of their necks there was a bleeding heart tattooed into their skin, making him wince as he realized who exactly he’d just ran into.  
_Bloodheart_\- named after their favorite drug. They were a vicious gang who oftentimes stole from others so they could trade those stolen goods for the junk they favored so much. However, looking at their obvious symptoms of withdrawal, Hinata figured they’d be slow, uncoordinated and irritable. So while he probably wouldn’t be able to talk his way out of this, nor would he be able to fight since he was vastly outnumbered, he could escape by just running for it.

“Hey, be honest, do you have anything worth our while? If you’re honest now, we don’t have to strip and beat ya”, a druggie snickered, his hair dyed an obnoxious red and his face covered in piercings. Hinata immediately noticed him to be the leader, with how he stood at the front of their little group.

“He does have that nice shiny watch! And I think I see some cans of food in that fancy little bag of his!”, a smaller boy to Hajime's right cheered, waving around a knife as he pointed at his watch. Like hell were they going to take his food, let alone his watch. That watch was the only barrier between him and imminent death- or at least a lot of fucking torture.  
He doubted Junko Enoshima had anything good in mind when she kidnapped his kind after all, taking note of her dismay and obvious disgust for those which a grey Mark.

He slowly reached his hand behind his back, trying not to be too obvious as he- _'thunk'_.

A small stream of blood slid down his neck, his ear smarting from where the knife had nicked it. “Don’t even try”, the boy threatened as he readied his next knife, “Throw the gun on the ground and put your hands up. Try anything and the next knife will settle itself into your eye socket.”

Hinata scoffed. For someone who seemed ready to collapse any minute, these druggies were awfully perceptive. He did as they said, grimacing as the leader picked up his gun and pointed it at him with a sadistic smirk. Looking around desperately, he tried not to let panic overtake his rational thought as he searched for his escape.  
_There_. Behind the boy with the knife was another dumpster. If Hinata could manage to jump onto that, he’d be able to reach the fire escape ladder hanging above it!

He didn’t waste any time.  
He focused on the boy with the flaming red hair and crouched down into a fighting position before he made a feint in his direction and moved towards the smaller boy to his right instead. A bullet lodged itself into the wall behind him, a knife sliced the air inches away from his eye and he winced as a harsh crack sounded throughout the ally.

His heavy bag had hit the boy point square in the face and Hinata briefly pondered the fact that one of the cans had probably broken the guy’s nose.

Quickly running past the druggy, he climbed up the dumpster, slinging the bag up his arm and on his shoulder so it wouldn’t get in the way. The gang members were screaming, Hajime’s gun discarded after another bullet rocketed off of the metal ladder right above his head. He remembered that to be the last bullet in there.

The ladder felt rough under his hands as he jumped and reached for it, pulling himself up until his feet could rest upon the first step. Thank God he used to do cardio or he would _not_ have been able to pull himself up as fast as he just did. With a loud _‘clang’_ his feet landed onto the fire escape. Again, he wasted no time looking back, ascending the staircase with unrivaled haste. He had no idea where he was going but he really hoped he could get out of this unscathed so long as he kept running, not really in the mood to die.

The sound of feet clattering against metal intensified as the others began chasing after him and Hinata cursed as he noticed the stairs leading to the second level were rusted and unstable, likely to give out under his weight.

His eyes flicked to his right, a broken window glinting in the red light of the sky.

He gathered there wasn’t enough time to carefully lay down his jacket on the glass and thus, gritting his teeth, he climbed through the window, feeling the shards cut into the skin of his hands painfully. With a grunt he fell to the ground, a cloud of dust surrounding his form quickly after, causing him to have a coughing fit. His hands were shaking with a sharp, stabbing pain even the adrenaline couldn’t conceal and he winced at the excessive bleeding, the cuts deep and severe. That had to be disinfected _soon_\- who knows how old and filthy that glass was…

The room he found himself in was grimy, long since abandoned and raided. The bloodstains on the walls along with the smell of rot hanging in the air didn’t make things better and he quickly stood up from the grubby ground with a pained grunt.  
He didn’t have time to lick his wounds.

The soft thud of a knife embedding itself into the wall next to his face had him freeze in shock once more.

_Case in point._

The smaller boy from before was watching him with a bloody smile from the other side of the window, nose obviously broken and still gushing blood.  
Hinata wasted no time running to what he hoped to be the exit, throwing the door open with panicked vigor. Another _‘thud’ _was heard from behind him, the sharp end of the knife sticking through the other side of the door.

It didn’t take long until the sound of yelling echoed throughout the corridors of the apartment and Hinata would’ve laughed at the ridiculous situation he currently found himself in, had his skull not almost been impaled by a six-inch knife five seconds ago.

He’d probably laugh about it later though.

For now, he willed his legs to run faster, almost flying down the set of stairs as he finally reached the ground floor, breathing out a sigh of relief at the faded red letters of the emergency exit. The locked doors easily caved under his insistence and he was ready to run and never look back, only for his feet to be glued to the ground before he could.

There was an entire crowd in front of him, at least two hundred men all with their backs to him, swaying and staggering as some went to sit or lie down. He didn’t know what to do. What the_ hell_ were they doing here?

The other’s had caught up to him by now, the shuffling of their feet coming to a stop right behind him. Alarmed, he looked back, only to frown at the foggy look in their eyes.

_What’s going on?_

It felt like they were looking through him.

Hinata stifled a gasp as the short boy, who he barely guessed to be fifteen, took one of the knives on his belt and slit his own throat with it.

A bit of the spray hit him but he couldn’t do anything as the boy dropped to his knees, rasping his lasts breaths while a puddle of blood began to accumulate beneath him on the concrete. No one looked the slightest bit bothered except for Hinata, who was sure he was trembling by now.

Still, something urged him to turn around, to ignore the sound of bodies hitting the ground behind him. His limbs were moving on their own, his feet struggling with his common sense as they stepped over a random woman lying in his way, throat cut much like the druggy from before, bloody scissors in her still twitching hand. Hinata got now that people weren’t just ‘laying’ or ‘sitting’ down. They were falling. Dying. Dropping to the floor like flies.

There was a weird vibration in the air, something beautiful like the chimes of a bell but at the same time grating like the screeching of a kettle. Music. It was music.

Bright lights blinded him for a second and it was only then that he noticed everyone to be looking at the stage on the other side of the clearing, the one he was currently moving towards.  
He made his way further through the thinning crowd until he stood at the front, watching two women on a well-lit stage. The lights oftentimes shone into his eyes, making him blind for a painful few seconds and oblivious to the three Monokuma heads hanging in an arch above him, attached to the roof of the stage.

The two women on the podium were utterly captivating.  
One was dressed in a punk-like attire with deep raven hair and white extensions connected to a pair of horns, her bangs dyed a pretty blue and pink. Her fingers moved over the strings of her guitar with practiced ease, her body swaying to the music almost as much as the other woman next to her.  
She had a more refined look, wearing a silken kimono of pastel pink along with a gorgeous hairpin made out of glass cherry blossoms, holding up her flowing blonde hair. She was sliding along the stage in an elegant manner, one movement flowing gracefully into the next as Hinata’s eyes had no choice but to follow, the music in the background compelling him not to look away as the dancing woman mesmerized him even further.

His eyes had begun to droop, his hands starting to twitch while the notes urged for him to do something. Something bad. Something destructive.  
His whole body went into overdrive, painful memories suddenly filling his head like a flood: the death of his parents, him starving and running for his life, Komaeda getting shot, spikes searing through the crying silhouette of a girl-

The woman in silk had caught his eyes a few times now, frowning at him as she continued to move her limbs swiftly and fluently, twirling around and throwing her fans in the air only to easily catch them again. She hid her face behind them, a frown pulling down her rosy lips.

A soft hand slid into his, pulling him along and quickly herding him into an abandoned alley. He was about to push them aside so he could go back and watch the end of the show when they let go of his hands to instead cover his ears, making him blink in confusion as the music that had been hypnotizing him became dull and distorted. He frowned and looked down to meet the judgemental gaze of Mahiru, the girl raising a brow at him as if to say “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”.

He didn’t understand… What had just happened? Did those people seriously… Kill themselves..? Was Mahiru covering his ears so he couldn’t hear the music?

Realizing how close she was, feeling her breath against his chin, he looked away, embarrassed, making her huff an amused laugh at the sight of the boy’s cheeks heating up. After he’d recollected himself, he gestured towards her hands and the girl shook her head once more, insisting they wait. And so they did. He counted every second of it, face ablaze for the three and a half minutes it lasted.

When she removed her hands from his ears, it was silent.

“What happened to your hands?” she questioned. Hinata frowned, not understanding what she meant as his thoughts were still a little muddled, until she held up her right hand for him. It was red- tainted with his blood from when she’d pulled him out of the crowd. Looking down, he noticed his still bleeding hands and then the wetness on the left side of his face from where she’d put her own bloodied hands.  
“I cut myself”, he answered and he shook his head at her astounded expression. “Not on purpose, I was running from some deranged druggies. A gang.”

She sighed, “You don’t say. Seriously though, you’ve got to be more careful with yourself! First, you get sick, then I hear from Komaeda you got shot and now this! You’re going to get yourself killed at this rate!”

“Not like anyone would care.”

Mahiru’s expression dropped into one of shock.

Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that. The music just made him a lot more dazed than usual.  
He was about to say something- take it back or just change the subject, only for Mahiru to cut him off with an annoyed huff.

“Geez, I can’t believe I have to say this- but… I’d care. I’m sure Komaeda would care. Perhaps even that useless idiot, Soda, would care.”

Her red eyes pierced his widening ones, the girl crossing her arms as a faint blush spread on her cheeks. “You shouldn’t put yourself down like that. I don’t spend my time with people who don’t deserve my attention.”

Hajime blinked, unable to understand the kind words she’d just graced him with. “I- Thank you...”

She rolled her eyes, an irritated huff escaping her lips, “Don’t let it get to your head, okay?... By the way, you’re surprisingly calm for someone that just saw a mass suicide happen”, Mahiru observed, features twisting into a surprised smile.

He nodded, face scrunching up at the memory of all those people falling to the ground, “I guess I just built up a resistance to stressful situations like that over time. It happens automatically.”

_Except when you’re in the middle of a terrorist attack and almost get caught up in multiple bombs, _or_ when you find a dead, mangled corpse behind a dumpster, _or_ when you find out Junko Enoshima’s hunting you again, though now she’s enlisted the help of the Ultimate Despair- _

_…But otherwise, I can keep my composure. Sure, no probs._

Mahiru’s gaze turned calculating as she stared at him, head canted and eyes narrowed as she contemplated his words. Hajime didn’t notice, instead turning at the sound of footsteps approaching from the ally to their right.

“Mahiru-chan! What did you think of our show?” a woman suddenly yelled, appearing from the shadows as she came to hug the still pensive Mahiru.

“I- Hiyoko? What are you doing here?” Mahiru asked, startled by the blonde’s sudden presence.

“Well~ we saw you run off with this punk over here!”, another voice chimed in, and Hinata couldn’t hold back a yelp as another woman appeared from behind him, putting an arm around his shoulder. “And y’know, we wanted to see what you two were up to- if you get what I’m saying”, she then said in a suggestive tone, winking excessively at the reddening Mahiru.

His breath seemed stuck in his throat as he finally recognized the couple: Hiyoko Saijoni and Ibuki Mioda. Known as the Sirens who lured people in with their music and dance, only to mesmerize them to their deaths.  
Sometimes it’d be “peaceful”, like just now, but other times they’d propel their audience to kill each other.

They probably decided it on a whim.

“We’re just friends!” Mahiru interjected, interrupting his internal crisis, “I just didn’t want him to die. Nothing more!”

“Suuree~”, Ibuki sang, leering at the red-haired girl who was still adorning some very pink cheeks. Hiyoko seemed to glare at him, latching onto Mahiru’s arm as if she felt threatened by his very presence.

If only she knew how afraid he was right now.

Hajime was freaking out. Fuck being calm. Three of the Ultimate Despair were currently right in front of his nose. Three of the deadliest people in the world who were apparently _looking for him. _He trusted Mahiru and Kazuichi because if they thought he was a Talentless, they would’ve done or tried something by now.

However, Hiyoko Saijoni and Ibuki Mioda were variables he had no idea how to deceive or control. Oh, this was last night all over again. His hands were trembling, his throat was dry and his vision was blurring and hazy; he didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to see the insane smile of Junko Enoshima up close again.

“… So? Did you like it?”

He blinked, surprised to see the face of Ibuki right next to his, making him stumble back and rub the spot on his cheek where he’d been able to feel her breath. “I- I’m sorry what?”

Her sugary pink eyes widened along with the enthusiastic smile on her face, her hands clamping onto his as she pulled him close once more. Her disregard for personal space was almost just as bad as Komaeda’s. “Did you like our show? Ibuki was good right? People were falling for her music like bees for sugar!”

_Oh, they were falling alright._

Shakily, Hajime nodded. “Yeah… Loved it.”

“Still, if I’d been any longer, he’d have died. I’m glad I got there in time”, Mahiru murmured, her eyes heavy with unease at what could’ve happened.

“Thank you for that, by the way”, Hajime quickly commented, almost having forgotten that the woman had saved him from possible death.

“Yes! We’re glad Mahiru’s boyfriend is doing alright!”, the musician laughed heartily, her arm pulling him into another tight embrace. It felt more like a chokehold than anything else, or maybe that was just his embarrassment trying to kill him before his heart could. “I-I’m really not-“

“We’re just-“

“NO WAY are they a couple!”, Hiyoko screeched, “Mahiru-chan could get so much better! Like, look at him! Yuck!”

_Okay, that might be a tad much..._

Ibuki sighed. “Oh well, it was worth a shot!”

“What’s your name anyway?” Hiyoko asked, her tone implying she wouldn’t like it no matter what it was.

“His name’s Hinata”, Mahiru answered for him.

“That’s such a stupid name!”

_Again, ouch_.

Ibuki clapped him on the shoulder. “Ibuki approves!”

“T-Thanks”, he shot Ibuki a nervous smile and she squealed, much to his ears’ displeasure. “Look at this cinnamon roll! He’s so cute! Ibuki could just eat him up!”

Okayyy, that’s enough!

He quickly ducked out from under her arms, his voice reaching a tone he didn’t think he could reach as he slowly backed away from the trio. “Wow, look at the time! I think I should be heading home now!”

“Ow~ but we just met you! Won’t you stay a little longer?” Ibuki drawled, teasing smile on her lips as she reached her hands towards him. “Ah, I wish could”, _I really don’t_, “But I should take care of these cuts, y’know?”

He waved his bloodied hands to further his point. “Maybe next time!”

“Wait.”

Before Hajime could turn and flee, he was stopped by a delicate hand on his wrist.

Hiyoko stood behind him, her honey-colored eyes staring intently into his as she looked down at his watch. “Show me your Soulmark.”

.

.

.

“Excuse me?”

Hiyoko’s stare didn’t move from his when she nodded at his arm. “You’re wearing a watch to hide your Soulmark, right? It’s a common place for it.”

In the dim light of the alleyway, her eyes seemed to light up a deep crimson as she smiled and canted her head. “Don’t struggle, okay?”  
A faint glint in the corner of his eyes had Hinata stiffen. Hiyoko was twirling her fan between her fingers effortlessly, the pretty pink fabric outlined with sharp, metal blades. One swipe and she’d be able to slice halfway through his neck, for sure.

Oh God. Was this it? If he ran, he’d get a fan lodged into the back of his head. If he stayed, he’d die at the hands of Enoshima Junko.

“I- I don’t understand, why-“

“We’re looking for some useless, impotent Talentless and most of the time, those suckers do get entranced by our song and dance but they don’t kill themselves in a fit of Despair like the rest. Which is probably why Mahiru pulled you apart, seeing as she probably didn’t want you to die- hopeless loser you may be!” the last was added with a giggle and Hinata frowned, her demeaning way of speaking to him becoming quite irritating.

Mahiru stepped forwards, her face set in concern and doubt as she put a hesitant hand on the blonde’s arm, “Hiyoko, I don’t think this is necessary. I’ve known him for-“

“However”, Hiyoko interrupted, her gaze like knives on his skin as she kept staring at him, “despite that, you were still unaffected for quite a long time.”  
Her rosy lips pursed themselves into a straight line, all hints of amusement gone from her face when she tightened her hold on his wrist. “I want to check for sure.”

His head was empty. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do right now, his entire body shaking as Hiyoko reached for his watch.

“Ah! Look at what I found!” The shrill voice of Mahiru exclaimed, holding his bag in her hand –When had he dropped that? – and a crinkling, little packet in the other.

Hiyoko stopped.

Hajime could breathe again.

“A-Are those…”

She grabbed the little packet from Mahiru and Hinata almost jumped eight feet in the air in shock when she began to scream, hugging the little bag to her chest. “Gummy bears!!”

_W...What?_

“Where did you find this!” Hiyoko asked, her eyes urgent as she surveilled him, as if he’d have more hidden on his person. “I-In one of the buildings two blocks away, it was the only one there, though...” he recounted.

Hiyoko looked heartbroken. “Ow…”

Feeling someone looking at him, Hajime glanced to the girl standing on the side, realization flooding him at Mahiru’s insistent gaze. “You can have it… If you want that is…”, he muttered. The dancer looked up so fast, Hajime was surprised she didn’t have whiplash. “Really!?”

He shrugged, hiding the pain of losing the only candy he’d found in almost two years as he plastered on another smile. “Sure.”

Her golden eyes shimmered in excitement, her smile turning into a bright and youthful grin as she hugged the packet tight once more, “Great! Now I have some more for my collection!”

_C-Collection?! She has a collection?!_

Slumping, he massaged the bridge of his nose, causing Ibuki to snicker when she saw his dejected form. “Guess you did your good deed of the day, right?” Ibuki laughed, clapping his back in what he supposed was meant to be sympathy.

Hinata slumped. “When she said collection…”

“She has an entire closet full of them.”

“Right…”, he sighed, the sight of Hiyoko squealing over the candy at least putting him at ease. If Mahiru hadn’t distracted her the moment she did, he’d be-

He immediately searched for the redhead and found her already looking at him, eyes scorching as she examined him.

Hinata’s mouth suddenly felt dry, a lump forming in his throat as he nervously tried to swallow it down. Why _had_ she saved him?

“Are you sure you can handle this yourself? I could always introduce you to that nurse we talked about before”, Hinata jumped out of his skin as said girl was suddenly standing next to him, his bloodied hands in her soft grasp as she studied them.

“Mikan?” Hiyoko scowled, looking up from her newfound candy at the mention of the nurse, a sour look on her face, “That waste of space would probably make things worse.”

“Hiyoko!” Mahiru scolded, glaring at the blonde until she looked away, cheeks tinted a faint red.

“I’m fine, I just really want to go home for the day. Y’know, before I bleed out”, he joked, but the fatigue in his voice was a lot more evident now and he lightly shook his head against the daze that threatened to overtake it.

“I’ll go with you, to make sure you don’t pass out”, Mahiru smiled and Ibuki animatedly nodded her head. “Yes! Ibuki wouldn’t want her new friend to die after only just meeting them!”

_Friends? Is that- Ah no, that’s not important right now. Why does Mahiru want to go with me? That’s a _bad_ idea._

“Ah, that’s really not necessary-“

“I insist.”

The way her eyes were set, glaring at his form, he understood what she was saying wasn’t an offer.

It was a demand.

\---

Their walk was silent, the only sound between them the snow crunching under their shoes and their breathing.

He’d managed to bandage his hands with a piece of cloth, ripped from the bottom of his shirt- with the help of Mahiru, of course. His hands were in no state to use that kind of force. It helped to stop the bleeding, but he’d still lost a lot of blood and it showed in his ability to walk. To make matters worse, the city was getting darker and without the help of the sun, he easily stumbled and tripped over the rubble lying everywhere.  
When he fell for the fourth time he cursed excessively, wincing as his hands took the brunt of the fall.

“Hinata! God, you need to be more careful, you idiot!” Mahiru cursed, squatting down next to him to help him back up. He tried to reassure the girl with a smile, but he was sure it came out more like a pained grimace going by the concerned look on her face, “Sorry.”

The redhead sighed, “Don’t apologize. Just keep on walking.”

Hajime winced at her harsh words, but when she put his arm over her shoulder to support him, he couldn’t help but smile. She cared. In her own, special way.

“Why did you save me?”  
Mahiru stiffened under his question; he hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but he didn’t backtrack, looking at the girl expectantly as his curiosity got the better of him.

Mahiru didn’t even so much as look at him. “Should I have left you lying in the snow?”

“You know that’s not what I meant”, he countered, looking from her to his boots as he almost tipped again. “When Hiyoko tried to take off my watch, you distracted her. Made sure she’d forget all about me by pulling out that candy. Why?”

Suddenly, he could feel her gaze cutting into the side of his face and as he met her eyes, he noticed they looked more troubled than he’d expect from an Ultimate Despair. Especially one as strong and stubborn as her. She looked like she was in pain. Conflicted.  
It made him feel guilty.

Her lips, slowly turning blue from the icy cold, were set into a tight line until a sigh eventually slipped past them. “Because… you’re my friend. I don’t know if you’re… what we’re looking for. I didn’t think you were at first, having befriended Soda like it was nothing, but now… I’d rather not know.”

“Why?” he asked once more, not knowing when to stop and just count his blessings. Her face darkened, the air around them growing heavier as she answered, “Because if I did, and you’d turn out to be Talentless…

** _I’d kill you.”_ **

Stunned, he stopped walking, retrieving his arm from her hold and stumbling back.  
“Aren’t you supposed to deliver the Talentless to Junko?” he questioned, his throat feeling like he’d just swallowed a brick.

“Death would be a kinder end than what she has planned.”

“I see…”

He didn’t know how to respond to that. She’d just declared that she had suspicions he had a grey Mark, but decided not to act on it.

She'd basically just stated that she'd turn a blind eye for him.

Maybe she would just return to the Black Castle and inform the rest of the Ultimates? Order Kuzuryu and Pekoyama to come and collect him? But then, why even tell him this? Why give him a warning when she had nothing to win doing so?

Mahiru’s eyes softened at Hinata’s obvious confusion.

To be honest, she didn’t understand it either. She was supposed to love Despair. Suffering. Pain. She was supposed to obey Junko’s orders.

She was still tempted to do so. To just pick up one of the bricks lying on the side of the road and hit Hinata in the head with it when he wasn’t looking, but then, just thinking about it made something inside her revolt. She started feeling queasy when she thought of the boy lying on the asphalt, bleeding and unconscious.

Observing the boy’s internal struggle, she couldn’t help but giggle at the absurdity of the situation, soon doubling over with laughter.  
Hajime, watching the girl combust into laughs, soon began laughing himself. How had his life taken such a turn? An Ultimate Despair taking his side? In a way… it really was ironic. Hilarious, even.

  
Mahiru Koizumi. Nagito Komaeda. He now had two friends. Five if you counted Soda, Ibuki and Hiyoko.

He was living in the apocalypse, and still, he had more friends now than he had before it.

  
And almost all of them were people who were supposed to want him dead.

If that’s not the beginning of a good joke he didn’t know what was.

\---

He fell a fifth time.

Cursing, he got up by himself. He’d sent Mahiru home, not wanting her to freeze to death as she was much more prone to the cold than he was, wearing nothing but a skirt, a shirt and a flimsy little jacket.

His limbs were achingly slow though, the cold and the blood loss effectively slowing him down until he was sure even his grandma could walk faster than him. He began pushing harder, mentally sticking up his middle finger when the wind decided to amp things up a notch. He fell down.

It was difficult getting up again.

He stiffened when he heard hushed voices a little way up ahead.

Sitting up, he crouched behind another dumpster, feeling a faint feeling of déjà vu as he spotted two people talking, hidden by the shadows of the street. He felt like he was waiting for Junko to appear, much like she’d done yesterday. 

He couldn’t hear what the couple was saying, the wind still howling in his ears, but he could make out their silhouettes enough to see that one of them was a woman. Her long hair was tied up into a high ponytail and she was wearing a dress he would’ve thought was meant for summer or spring. Her hands were resting on her hips, head nodding as she patiently listened to what the other had to say.

The second person’s hair was wild and unkempt, their figure lithe and their body language animated as they talked, hands waving to and fro. They felt eerily familiar…

Hinata squinted his eyes, not quite believing what he saw when the figure stepped out of the buildings’ shadows.

_Komaeda?! What‘s he doing here? _

Now that he thought of it… Hajime hadn’t seen him the entire day. That… hadn’t happened since he’d last holed himself up in his apartment.

_Who’s the woman he’s talking to?_

Hinata frowned at the sharp stab of jealousy he felt. Jealousy for what? He’d probably just lost Komaeda’s interest, which was a good thing. It was a good thing Komaeda stopped bothering him. It meant he could focus on gathering supplies and pick up his normal life.

Turning around, he fled out of the alleyway, ignoring the throbbing pain in his heart as the woman kissed Komaeda on the cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!~ Sorry it took so long…
> 
> Unfortunately, it might take a while before I get the following chapters out…  
I’ve already partially written some of them, but I’ve got a heavy case of writer’s block and it’s difficult getting words onto paper.
> 
> I’m not going to have a lot of time to write either, since I’m starting university soon (I’m hella nervous), but I’ll try to upload as much as I can!
> 
> Anyway, new AMV of Komaeda! Its more of an edit actually, but it’s really good!
> 
> Name: Nagito - Take it all in  
From: caudiac


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter ^^
> 
> \--Sorry if any mistakes made it through my proofreading--  
-

Hinata opened his eyes only to be met with an endless, black void.

The scenery seemed eerily familiar as a mild sense of déjà vu wriggled itself into his thoughts, the darkness before him striking an uncomfortable chord within his memory.  
He’s had this dream before.  
Looking down, he saw his shadow stretched out along the floor, a blinding light behind him chasing away any and all darkness that tried to sneak closer. There were still some that persisted though, dark tendrils stretching and sliding along his feet, making him inch closer to the glass wall and the light on the other side. 

They didn’t seem able to do anything from there.

Releasing a relieved sigh, he looked behind him, squinting his eyes and trying to look between the cobwebs of cracks and shattered glass. There was someone there, on the other side, he could see them move.  
They were smaller than him. A child, perhaps?

Crouching down so he’d be at their eye-level, he hesitantly tapped the glass, biting his lips as they stopped moving. Were they already looking at him? He couldn’t see.

They seemed extremely lonely. 

Hajime smiled, despite the fact that he knew the child wouldn’t be able to see it, and waved. They didn’t react, standing stock still. Could they even see him, shrouded in darkness?

A frown pulled at the corners of Hinata’s smile, a deep-rooted feeling of protectiveness coursing through his body, beginning from the pit of his stomach and stretching towards the tips of his fingers, which began to press against the glass. He wanted to protect them. He wanted to help them. He wanted to keep them company and make sure they weren’t alone. 

Standing up and putting the palm of his hand on the fragmented, cold glass, he pushed, immediately noticing it would take much more than that to knock it over. Gritting his teeth, he was about to try and ram his shoulder into the glass when two arms appeared from the darkness, unbothered by the light as one wrapped around his chest and the other covered his eyes.

** _“The glass won’t break.” _ **

Whispers arose from the shadows around them but Hinata couldn’t even try to understand what they were saying, the voices too muddled and the hands holding him like acid on his skin.

He wanted to scream but no sound would come out. 

** _“Just don’t look.”_ **

\---

His Soulmate sure tried to connect a lot lately.  
It didn’t use to be this bad; the dreams had been mild, and did not occur as often as they did now.  
_ They were not nearly as exhausting. _Hinata thought tiredly as he trudged through the thick layers of snow, a pronounced sluggishness to his movements. 

He wished they could have a normal Soulmate connection. He wished the Tragedy had never happened. He wanted his home back, his boring school life, his _ parents, _ and the chance to meet his Soulmate under normal circumstances.  
Hinata knew, however, that the Tragedy had not caused his Soulmate’s toxic behavior, that had started way before the apocalypse had actually happened.

His Soulmark throbbed, tears stinging his eyes and he had to take in a deep breath to soothe his burning lungs. It’d be okay. It had to be. He would make it so, as soon as he met- “Ack! What the...?” 

A harsh tick to the back of his head pulled him from his depressing thoughts. Looking around, he noticed a little white hailstone lying innocently before his shoe.  
Hinata immediately looked around for shelter, ducking into the closest accessible building, which happened to be an old arcade. Its door creaked loudly when he pushed it open and the dust-filled air made his nose itch, but he happily ignored it, just grateful the door opened.

The weather after the wars and bombs had always been unpredictable. Violent. Winter especially was just the worst, blizzards happened more often than not and the cold was just inhumane. However, the one thing that scared the crap out of Hajime was the hail.  
It almost always started small, you’d just bear through it if you didn’t know what was coming next. Those little hailstones would grow into the size of ping pong balls, then tennis balls, and then, before you knew it, you’d collapse under the sudden weight of what equals an old tv falling on top of your head. 

Even then, it wouldn’t stop though, the hailstones would keep coming, raining down until what remained of you was an unrecognizable, broken body. 

Hinata had seen it happen before. He also didn’t want it to happen to him. 

The inside, Hajime noticed quickly, was surprisingly warmer than the outside, causing him to take off his dirty gloves. There was another layer underneath there though, the palms of his hands and part of his wrists encased in thick gauze. Disinfecting them had hurt like hell and bandaging such a raw wound hadn't been fun either, not when even the slightest twitch of his fingers made a sharp sting spread all the way to his elbows.  
When he'd looked into the mirror that morning, he'd reminded himself of a mummy, his shoulder also still bandaged and not entirely healed.  
  
Looking around, he found numerous equipment and games, which brought back the nostalgia of his youth. A pinball machine stood close at the entrance of the arcade along with a door leading to the backroom. Further in were the actual video games, ranging from Pac-Man to Donkey Kong, and a dusty lounging area. Hajime imagined it would’ve been cozy, had he not seen a rat crawl out from one of the plush couches.

Nothing seemed to be destroyed though, the machines were still standing upright and if there had been electricity, he’d be sure they’d have worked. The low hanging lamps would've dimly lighted the area as the brick walls would cause the place to have a homey, relaxing feel to it. 

He could imagine it vividly in his mind’s eye, perfectly almost…

_ “C’mon! I know the perfect place!” An excited voice rang out, soft hands enveloping his own as they pulled him along. _

_ “I don’t know…I really should get going", he tried excusing himself, but the girl was having none of it, keeping a firm grip on his hands. “But you’re the first person I’ve met who’s played Gala Omega! It’s such a classic, I really want to play it with you! And seeing as you don’t go to the same school as me, the chance is small we’ll meet again like this!” _

_ Hajime laughed awkwardly, regretting the off-hand comment that had slipped out of his mouth when he saw her playing the game. “Y-Yeah, I guess that’s true, but how do you even want to play? I don’t have a Game Boy or any of the sort with me…” _

_ Warm hazel eyes locked onto his own, a small but bright smile adorning her lips as she gestured to the shop behind her. _

_ An arcade? _

_ “They have Gala Omega in there and it’s even multiplayer! You’ll play with me, right?” The girl’s enthusiasm flared at the thought of having a playmate for such an amazing game, and Hinata just couldn’t muster up the determination to say no. He defeatedly shook his head, unable to hide his amused smile, “Sure, I’d l̵̜͑͑̇́ò̸͖̟̪͙̆͛̏v̵̛̻̱̟͔̀̈́̚̕ē̷̡͊ ̶͙͆̈́̒̌t̷̥͎̪͔͉̓̚o̵͓͉̦̓͂.̶̜̖͖̥̟̏͘.̴̧͙̮͔̣̾̕͜͠.̷͉̻̰̌͛͠ _

_ ̴̼̲̎ỳ̷͓ò̸̻̐ū̴͚͉͋ ̸̬̯̄͘h̴̦̩̕a̵̛̘ͅv̴̪͝͝e̶̢͈͑͠ ̸̲͛m̵̛̭̄o̶̭̓ř̴̹͓e̵̫͝ ̵̻̋f̶̬͑r̶̦͓̔̕ĕ̴͎e̴͙̎͂d̸͆ͅǒ̶̳͖m̷̝̻̅͊ ̵̪̈́t̴̝͋̈́h̸̛̭̣ā̴̻n̵͈̲͊ ̷̨̯̎w̶̞̦͝e̵̖͆ ̷̮͑ḏ̸̘͌ö̴̩̼́͘ _

_ ̸̝̣͐Y̷̛͓͛o̶͍̜̿͗ṷ̸̝̂ ̴̫̺͊c̸̤̿̿͜a̷̼͘n̸̗̰̄͆ ̷̪̅͆b̸̻͔̐ę̶͑̒c̴̗̫͊ó̸͎͠m̷̖̚̕ę̸̾ ̵̡̗͠a̸̢͖͊ņ̴͋͘ẏ̷͈͔t̴͉h̵̬͔̉͝i̵̗̇̋n̵̖͝g̴̦̜̋ ̸̚ͅy̴̪̫̐o̷̞̓͠u̸͍̾ ̵̣̆w̷͖̣͊̅a̵͕͎͛n̶̲͙̈́t̸͍̝̅͘ _

_ ̸͕̜̍I̸̬̼̋ ̵̬̠̏̍t̴̮̺̾̕ḩ̵̬̈́i̴̗͙̅n̶͖͍͐ḱ̶͎̜ ̶̘͘t̸̗͑ͅḧ̸̢̇ḙ̶̑̈́ ̸͈̹́m̸̹͛ę̴̌m̸̰͔̅o̴͉̎̾r̶͠ͅỉ̸̜ě̴̩̝ś̴̠ ̶̘͑ȳ̶̪o̵͓͑͝ȕ̵̧̟ ̸͎̑̍m̵͕͋̾a̵͎̒k̷̡̙͗̕e̶̙̒̚ ̸͈͓͒w̸̺̟͝ȉ̷̞̝̑t̴̪̟͂̕h̴̲̬̎̇ ̴͎̥͠ẗ̸̪́h̴͓̎͐o̶̱̎̕ṡ̸͉̙̂ȇ̸̜͇͛ ̶͇̜͝y̴̲̣͛̚ỏ̶̺̤u̴͉̚ ̵̙͑l̶̘͇̓o̷̧͂͆v̷̋͜e̸̜͑̀ ̸̳͇͋ā̵͕ṛ̸̍͝e̷̩̍͝ ̷͓͍͝t̷̡̛̼ḧ̷̬̉ȅ̵̮̂ ̴̞̊͑m̸͕̎̕o̶͙͓͂s̶̪̼͛̌t̵̅̿ͅ ̶̡̯̏͂i̸̦͕̚m̸̞̄p̶̗̀o̶̢̡̿́ṟ̵̑̈́t̸̨̳̊͠à̸̪n̶̼̅͠ṫ̷͇.̷̛̳ _

_ “H̷̪̓ḯ̵̙n̵͎̈a̸̡̐t̶̺͒a̶̿͜-̴͉͒k̶u̷̯n̷̫̑... _

Hajime’s head throbbed in pain and with a groan, he fell to his knees, clutching his head and breathing heavily.   
Pieces of memory seemed to slip between his fingers like sand as he desperately tried to hold onto them. She felt like a lost dream. Her name, her smile, her kind words, why had he forgotten them? 

What had happened to her?

“Hinata-kun?”

Flinching, he looked up from where he sat crouched on the ground. There, stepping inside the arcade, was a concerned Kazuichi, his arms filled with scrap parts.

“K-Kazuichi-kun?” he stammered, stumbling upright as the other boy dropped the pieces of metal and approached him. “Hey there, dude, you doing okay?” Kazuichi asked, hand steadying him when he swayed. 

Hinata nodded in reflex at the question, waving away the worried hands of his friend. “Fine, fine, just... had a sudden migraine, is all.”

Kazuichi looked unconvinced, but at Hinata’s insistent smile, he shook his head, “Sure, if you say so... What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I was hiding from the hail”, he answered, incredulous at the fact Kazuichi even had to ask, “You are too, right?”

Kazuichi merely looked at him in confusion, “The hail was hours ago, I just came in here to look for scraps."  
A strong hand encircled his upper arm, refusing to let go as the boy forced him to look him in the eye, “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Hajime pursed his lips, “I’ve just… had some difficulties getting a good night’s rest, is all.”  
Not a lie, not the truth either, but still more than he wanted to disclose, “It's noth-”

“Where are you going?”

“Huh?”

The grip around his arm tightened, “I’ll take you there.”

Hinata’s eyes widened in shock as he looked back up into determined, magenta orbs, Kazuichi not giving an inch as Hinata tried to backtrack. “That’s not necessary! I’m genuinely fine!” 

“Nope! I’ve made up my mind, bro! You look as pale as the sheet I wore for Halloween three years ago! I’m bringing you to wherever you’ve gotta be! I’ll be like one of those cool bodyguards from the movies!!” Soda persisted, his features morphing into a bright grin. 

Hajime sighed, giving up. He’d never win against someone as dense and stubborn as Kazuichi. “Fine, you can chaperone me if you want. It’s your own time you’re wasting.”

“Ow yeah!! Bro-time, finally! I searched all over for you yesterday, though you were nowhere to be found!”, Soda admitted as they headed to the exit. 

Hinata turned to him in shock, “Seriously?”

“Yeah! Even went to all the places you usually visit, like the west part of the city and the school.”

“You do know I don’t visit the same place twice, right? I look for supplies when I’m out, I don't just stroll the city for fun”, Hajime huffed in faint amusement, “And the school was a one-time thing, I just… felt like visiting it for one last time.”

Kazuichi cried out in disbelief, leaving the arcade behind and trying not to trip over the enormous hailstones littering the ground. “So you mean I seriously wasted an entire day?”

“Yes, and you’re going to waste another one if you’re going to follow me around like a lost puppy. Seriously, you should just go back and collect your scrap parts-” Hinata began to lecture, but Kazuichi merely waved his complaints away, a big grin on his face as he put his arms behind his head. “Nah! I’ll just go back later to collect them. Plus, spending time with you isn’t wasting it. You’re often quiet and a little serious, but you’re fun to be around.”

Dumbstruck, Hajime watched Kazuichi stroll ahead of him, his movement slowing down as his mind tried to catch up. “Fun to be around”?  
Most people in his last school didn’t even want to talk to him because he was such a buzzkill. How is he “fun”?

“By the way, what did you mean by ‘one last time’?”

“Excuse me?”

Kazuichi shrugged, not turning around as the air around him seemed to grow dimmer. “You said something earlier. You said you wanted to visit the school for ‘one last time’. What did you mean by that? Were you… a reserve course student that _ survived _?”  
  
Swallowing down the anxiety that was threatening to spill, he pursed his lips. Hajime could recognize a double-barreled question when hearing one. _'Are you Talentless?'_  
Meeting the boy’s gaze, Hajime resolutely shook his head, “No, I was just friends with someone who went there. They’re dead now.”

Frowning at his own words, he didn’t notice the way Kazuichi let out a sigh of relief, demeanor changing from a hundred to zero like a switch being flipped, “Thank God, dude! I thought you were Talentless for a second since, you know, most people in the Reserve Course were. Did you know Junko has an eye out for those guys? More than usual? Ordered us to keep an eye out too. Apparently, she has some business with them, though I can't say why. She’s been really busy lately too, making us work a lot of overtime and scheduling meetings almost constantly. Like today, we have…”  
  
Kazuichi’s rambling faded to the background as Hinata trailed after him, lost in thought.  
  
He knew someone at Hope’s Peak. Who? Was it the girl from his memories? Did she really die? And if yes, why didn’t he remember something so important until just now?  
More questions seemed to stack up by the minute and with no way to answer them, Hajime felt hopelessly useless once more. It was like he was always in the dark about everything, he never knew what was going on around him or with the people important to him.  
  
The girl from his memories? He didn’t even remember her name. His Soulmate? He had no clue about their whereabouts or their mental state, only that it was quickly deteriorating. His friends? Murderers who, for some reason, took a liking to him. Komaeda?  
  
Ha! Hajime wanted to laugh at the name. He hadn’t the faintest clue of what the guy was planning or what went around in his head, or better yet: he didn’t understand it.  
The guy was as cryptic as he was weird and Hinata couldn’t get a grasp on him no matter how hard he tried. The boy was his polar opposite.  
  
Maybe that’s why, secretly, he enjoyed his company so much.  
  
Komaeda had this weird pull on him, like a magnet. Hajime supposed it was just how the guy was, containing this uncanny sort of charisma that somehow, still managed to reel him in.  
At first, it didn’t, creeping him out so incredibly much, but after he got used to it, he saw the charm in it. In his weird antics and the constant smile he gave Hinata when they shared each other’s company. He could sometimes see behind the insanity and get a glimpse of the boy Komaeda really was behind all the Despair, Hope, insanity and self-loathing.  
  
And Hinata noticed he really liked that boy.  
  
His thoughts scattered away when he bumped into Kazuichi’s outstretched arm, letting out a surprised ‘oof’ as the air temporarily left his lungs.  
“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking around and seeing they had arrived at the book shop. To be honest, it hadn’t been all that far from the arcade, about ten minutes- fifteen if you counted the fact that they had to step around and evade huge blocks of ice.   
  
Soda said nothing for a moment, his eyes narrowed as he observed the bookshop with a tense silence. “There’s something… Stay here.”  
  
Hajime furrowed his brows.  
He had never heard or seen the boy this uncharacteristically serious and it put him on edge. What did he see that Hajime didn’t?  
“Sure…” he complied, but Kazuichi was already off, sneaking inside the seemingly innocently looking shop without somehow even ringing the bell above the door. Out of his pocket, he pulled out another flat disk, Monokuma's face imprinted onto the top of it.  
  
At that, Hajime grew rigid.  
That idiot was _not _going to blow up one of the only intact bookshops in this entire city or God help him Hinata was going to kill him.  
Quickly speeding towards the shop’s door, he barreled through, Kazuichi’s name on the tip of his tongue before he saw what he was dealing with.  
Soda was talking to someone, a scarcely, in white dressed woman with long, tumbling brown locks of hair and- Hinata noticed with some embarrassment- a hefty bust.  
  
He couldn’t distinguish anything else as the woman suddenly stood before him, having moved so fast that his eyes couldn’t possibly hope to follow her movements. “Wh-”  
Before he could finish that sentence an iron grip settled over his throat, the woman digging her claws into his skin as she pulled him right off the ground. She didn’t even break a sweat, grinning almost unnaturally wide.  
  
“And who the fuck are you? Busting in here like ya own the place.”  
Her hand tightened at his stumped silence and, finally, instinct set in, causing him to trash and claw at her hands. After a few seconds, it was clear he was no match for her strength.  
  
“Akane! Fuck, put him down! He’s a friend!” Kazuichi pleaded, the other Ultimate Despair loosening her grasp in surprise, leaving Hinata to slam down onto the unstable, wooden planks.  
Kazuichi quickly passed Akane and worriedly knelt down next to his panicked friend, who was gasping for breath, “Hinata, are you okay? Man, I told you to wait!”  
Hajime couldn’t help but chuckle through his coughs, his breath sounding raspy when he spoke, “Yeah, I- eherm- I remember you saying something along those lines.”  
  
“Ugh, I guess if you can joke around you’ll be fine. Seriously dude, if an Ultimate Despair of all people tells you to do something, you do it. _Fuck_, that scared the shit outta me…” Kazuichi’s voice died off at the end, but Hajime heard anyway, smiling in bitter amusement.  
Being choked was nothing compared to what he'd been through the past few weeks, he wasn't even all that surprised anymore. He just gathered that it had to happen someday, it being one of the last things on his list that had yet to have been crossed off.   
Before he could comment on it though, Kazuichi turned away from him and towards the other person in the room, “And you! You can’t just bodily throw around everyone that comes your way! You’re not a gorilla! Or Nekomaru! Though in this case there’s not a lot of difference...” Kazuichi rambled, though eventually fixing the women before him with a hardened glare.  
  
Akane sighed dramatically, throwing her hands up in annoyance, “Geez, I said I’m sorry!”  
_You didn’t,_ Hajime thought with a deadpan look.  
“You’re starting to sound a heck of a lot like Mahiru, Kazu. What’s his name anyway?” Akane rebuked, pulling out a chicken rib from God knows where and wolfing it down like no tomorrow.

Kazuichi bristled indignantly as he helped Hinata up, “I do _ not _ sound like Mahiru!”   
“What’s so wrong with sounding like her?” Hajime asked, raising a brow when Kazuichi began to sputter.  
“Pft, nothing! Nothing at all! _Anyway!_ To answer your question, Akane, his name is Hinata!” Kazuichi answered in a desperate attempt to change the topic, ignoring Hajime's unimpressed stare. "We met about two to three weeks ago. I think.”   
  
“Uhu, well, nice to meet ya, Hinata! I’m Akane Owari, Ultimate Gymnast, Ultimate Despair, lover of meat, whatever ya wanna call me!” Akane said enthusiastically, shaking his hand with her greasy one. He grimaced. “Yeah, nice to meet you too.”  
  
“What are you doing here anyway? You’re not really one to read books...” Kazuichi questioned suspiciously, only to get a harsh slap to the back of his head. “Wha- OW!”  
  
“I might not be the smartest, but I do realize when someone’s calling me an idiot, idiot!” Akane yelled, though her smile never once left her face. “And I’m here because that gorilla told me to touch up on some fighting techniques. Told me I’d never beat him if I didn't at least get a black belt in both Karate and Krav Maga.”  
  
“At least? You can’t go any higher than a black belt-” Hajime remarked, but his statement was quickly overshadowed by Akane’s loud chewing as she finished her steak. Wait, wasn’t she eating ribs before-  
“I can’t seem to find any books about the subject though. Every cover is either so filthy it’s unreadable, or it’s burnt beyond recognition”, the woman whined. “Plus, Komaeda was here a few minutes ago, spouting his random bullshit like usual and distracting me.”

“Wait, Komaeda was here?” Hinata asked, baffled at the fact he'd missed him. Normally he’d step into a shop or an empty building and he’d be there, as if waiting for him.   
  
“You know the creep?” Akane queried, face twitching with disgust like Hinata had caught some infectious disease.  
“Yeah, you could say we’re… friends, to a certain degree”, he admitted, his eyes avoiding hers as he looked behind her. A rack of books caught his attention and a smile curled his lips when he remembered what the woman had said. “You mentioned you were searching for some books about martial arts?”  
  
When she nodded, he stepped past her, making sure to avoid wonky-looking planks, and reached for a book on one of the half-burnt cabinets.  
He’d been here multiple times before and knew where everything was situated. It was a different bookshop from the one where he’d met Komaeda though, this one partly burnt down, but it was still in a better condition than most of the other bookshops he'd visited.

When he turned around, he handed her the book with a satisfied grin. It was covered in ash and the cover was somewhat unreadable, but the contents were still intact.  
He'd tried to read up on ways he could defend himself, but quickly noticed he needed someone to actually practice with, should he really want to know how the techniques worked. Plus, he oftentimes just wasn’t agile enough to pull off the moves.  
  
“It’s a book about Krav Maga. It’s filthy but you should still be able to read what’s important. There’s a book about Karate here somewhere I think, but that one’s almost burnt beyond saving, so I don’t think it’ll- oofgh!”  
  
Two strong arms suddenly wound around his form, tilting him from the ground once more in what felt like a hug- should a boa constrictor be the thing hugging him.  
His struggling did nothing to deter her though, much like before. “Thank you, little dude! You saved me so much damn time! Now I’ll be able to beat Nekomaru’s ass in less than a day for sure!”  
  
“Uhm Akane, I think you’re suffocating him. Again”, Kazuichi commented, coming to Hajime’s rescue as Akane dropped him. “Right! Sorry about that! You’re quite fragile, aren’t ya?” She laughed. With him or at him, he wasn't sure.   
  
_ You’re just ridiculously strong _ , he thought bitterly as he gathered himself up.  
  
“Well, since you’ve given me a book, I’ll also give you a book in return! That way, we’re even!” she beamed, conjuring up a book from inside her bosom with ease. Hinata looked away in embarrassment, trying not to think about how, in the name of physics, that could’ve possibly worked. He accepted the book thoughtlessly, staring intently at it as to not look at the woman before him, only to frown at the title. Or rather, lack thereof. The pages too, were empty, containing but a single, loose note that he tucked away for later. “What is this?”  
  
Akane shrugged, as if wordlessly saying 'don’t ask me'.  
“Komaeda said to give it to someone, whoever I wanted,- and that with his Luck, it would be the right person. Seeing as you know him, you must be the right person”, she explained simply, puzzling Hinata even further. “Why didn’t he just give it to me himself?”  
  
“I asked the same question! He said something about having to meet someone? I don’t know, it wasn’t really all that interesting.”

Hinata sighed, of course, she wouldn’t remember the most important part… Was Komaeda going to meet that woman again, from last night?

Something inside him stirred uncomfortably at the thought.  
  
“Speaking about “meetings” we should probably get going Akane. We don’t want to be late for one of Junko’s gatherings…” Kazuichi reminded her, voice obviously worried and stressed as he looked at his watch.  
“Will you be fine from here on out, Hinata?” the boy asked him, causing Hinata to roll his eyes. “I was already _ fine _ back at the arcade, don’t worry about me.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, you can kiss and make up later! Let’s go pipsqueak!” Akane cackled, lifting Kazuichi up and under her arm.  
Ignoring his distressed yelling, Akane moved to the open window a few feet further, seemingly not even noticing the perfectly fine doorway right next to it. “Seriously, thanks for the book, tho! You were a real help just now!” The woman said as she turned around one last time, grinning at Hinata as she waved.  
  
“You’re-” she sprang out of the window, Kazuichi growing almost green from being tossed around like a ragdoll. Hinata could help but laugh at the sight. “Welcome…”  
  
His laugh turned into a grin, which eventually morphed into a saddened smile. Despite their rocky start, he felt like he’d made another friend today.  
Which is probably why the silence feels so oppressive. He always forgot about it, when in the company of such extroverted and loud people like Akane and Kazuichi, and it always hurt double as bad when they left, the silence coming back to haunt him.

It was concerning though, the way Junko seemed to be scheming... Kazuichi had also cemented his beliefs in that Junko needed his kind for whatever she was planning and Hinata could only hope he was prepared enough to survive her shenanigans. He sincerely doubted it.  
  
Ignoring his growing paranoia and anxiety, Hajime browsed through the empty pages of the book Komaeda had given him one last time, wondering why the boy would want him to have an unwritten book.   
Hinata knew though, after spending almost every day with the boy for almost three weeks, that there was a reason for almost everything Komaeda did, even if Hinata himself didn’t know what, there always was one.  
Tucking the gift away inside his bag, he pulled out the sticky note he'd found inside it from his pocket, squinting at the messy handwriting. Somehow, Komaeda had found a way to make his writing both blocky and swirly at the same time, making big loops only to suddenly stop and start a new letter. As if his thoughts ran faster than his hands could keep up with.

_Tonight, please come to the bookshop where we first met at twelve a.m.__  
_ _ A new beginning awaits you there. _

Geez, way to sound cryptic, Komaeda.  
  
“A new beginning… What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Hajime muttered, shaking his head tiredly as he put away the note once more. He usually didn’t go out at night, but he figured if Komaeda had wanted to kill him, he’d had multiple chances to do so already.  
  
And so, after browsing for some books, he stepped out of the shop, having no idea what it was Komaeda was planning.  
  
_Again_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, Akane was hard to write! I hope I didn't botch her character completely! -_-"
> 
> I am so looking forward to the next chapter though, it's going to be hella exciting! (･ω^)☆ 
> 
> BTW, I've got a new AMV/edit for you once again!  
I thought I'd choose an edit with Chiaki since she's been mentioned quite a lot in this chapter! Enjoy!
> 
> Name: Hinata x Chiaki Edit  
From: Kuroovs


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